Charlie Sheen Gave Ashton Kutcher Advice At The Emmys

“Here’s my pitch boiled down to its purest essence: You hand me all the money in your wallet.”

A more remorseful and somber (Read: Broke and therefore deficient in porn stars/hookers.) Charlie Sheen has been kissing Two and a Half Men’s ass over the past week even going so far as to say he’d love to have a cameo on the new season and wishing the show the best of luck at last night’s Emmys. He also tweeted a photo of him giving Ashton Kutcher “advice” backstage which somehow didn’t end in Charlie stabbing a hole in Ashton’s chest and climbing through the entry wound to become him. “Listen, I’m a precision flying machine, nobody’s ever gotten laid wearing a scarf. Trust me. I wear one to signal I’m in ‘Charlie Mode’ and need to repower my thermonuclear core. And what’s with the hair and beard? Are you Jesus now? No wonder your wife’s tweeting naked photos. By the way, you got anymore of those, and how’s her Bentley situation these days? Just curious.”

Photos: Getty, Twitter