Charlie Sheen Weighs In On Angus T. Jones, Blames Chuck Lorre, Of Course

November 28th, 2012 // 25 Comments
Angus T. Jones Charlie Sheen
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“I wonder who created the universe…”
“I wonder who’s going to bury that hooker I hit with a mace…”

In a surprising display of restraint, Charlie Sheen waited almost 24 hours before inevitably weighing in on his former Two And A Half Men co-star Angus T. Jones finding Jesus and shitting all over the show that lined his now-pious little pockets. And while Charlie contained himself to comparing the kid to the Hale-Bopp cultists for People, he went all out for TMZ if all out means predictably blaming Men creator Chuck Lorre without coining any catchphrases that helps me choose which friends and family to never speak to again. Goddamn you:

Charlie tells us, “Obviously, not having been there for some time, the Angus T. Jones that I knew and still love is not the same guy I saw on YouTube yesterday.”
He adds, “I dare anyone to spend ten years in the laugh-track that is Chuck Lorre’s hive of oppression and not suffer some form of an emotional tsunami.”

Angus has since quasi-apologized to the cast and crew of Two And A Half Men who practically raised him for the past ten years, but apparently has no intentions of leaving his new mentor from the video, Christopher Hudson, who is a real piece of work which is shocking to hear about a religious zealot. They’re usually full of calm, rational ideas about the world:

In the video, Jones says he discovered Hudson through his ForeRunner Chronicles video series — in which Hudson spouts off about a variety of topics … including:
– Why he believes Jay-Z is a Freemason with ties to the devil
– How Obama’s pro-gay agenda has similarities to Hitler
– How the NYC gas crisis can lead to cannibalism
In fact, Hudson warned his followers that the gas crisis can turn into a food crisis, forcing women to begin cannibalizing their own children — “Your baby might start looking like a chicken wing.”
So does Jones believe everything Hudson is preaching? It sure seems that way … because during the “testimony” video, Angus praised Hudson, saying, “I love watching ForeRunner Chronicles … all the information is so great.

Keep in mind, Charlie Sheen is a huge Alex Jones fan, so he really has no room to judge here when it comes to swallowing horseshit conspiracy theories. As for blaming Chuck Lorre, Charlie Sheen was also around Angus for most of his formative years and this is a guy who once spent an entire year yelling at a mansion filled with porn stars that he’s a jet. So it’s really a miracle this kid didn’t OD from a Hess truck stuffed with blow on Christmas morning. “What do you mean 11-year-olds can’t have coke? Since when?

Photo: Getty

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  1. Moo Cow Hunter

    Chuck Lorre was heard mumbling: The Sith. Always two there are….no more…no less. A master and an apprentice.

  2. judgingyou

    At what point do we start taking bets on the next Two and a Half Men actor to have a breakdown?

  3. You guys, we learned something today. It’s okay to manipulate a child and completely brainwash him for his money- if it is in the name of God.

  4. mismy

    Fine, you brought it up Fish… the only “horseshit conspiracy theory” that you linked is that Mustaine blamed Obama. Anyone been following this story at all? One of the deadliest mass shootings in US history that doesn’t get a peep of media coverage…?! This story reeks of a false flag attack, and no, I don’t think Obama set it up lol. There is a connection between Holmes’s father and LIBOR testimony. Whatever.. there’s actually a pretty good video on youtube detailing the inconsistencies if anyone is interested.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qk6OOvgjYdY&bpctr=1354122925

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      In related news, my Reynolds Wrap stock went through the roof as the demand for hats reaches a new high.

      • JC

        Reynolds Wrap is a secret subsidiary jointly owned by The Masons and The Fourth Reich, led by BARACK OSAMA! Use your local store brand or suffer from a true lack of mind control protection. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

      • as much as I hate Obama, you sound like a fucking idiot.

      • mismy

        He wasn’t serious ya dumb bitch, was making fun of me; damn drink some more fluoride- I hear it’s good for your teeth or something. James Holmes was without a doubt a Manchurian candidate, and he will not be alive to see a trial, maybe then you guys will consider stepping outside of your comfort zone of letting the tv tell you what you think. Or somebody can give me one single iota of proof or reason that MKUltra ended. But that’s impossible.

      • mismy

        lol whatever McBeef, you know better than to believe the official story or media’s version of anything.. not that I expected you to agree with me, but why not expose these obvious lies once in a while? I’m aware that it makes me look like a crazy republican, couldn’t be further from the truth, but those idiots at FAUX News dodged the real truth while ‘exposing’ this anyway. For the record, I’ve never in my life called anyone a “sheeple”, Alex Jones is a raving fraud crazyperson, and I really do have many rolls of tinfoil in my doomsday bag :/ Fuck the human race, I tried to believe in us (briefly)… we fully suck… money sex drugs party on

  5. Charlie Sheen to shut the fuck up and go back to banging porn stars. Of course he’s going to blame Chuck because it falls into the narrative he was trying to push when he lost his shit a few years back.

    Sometimes it’s best to keep your mouth shut, Charlie.

  6. Mouse

    DUCKY – SAVE YOURSELF!! SAAAAAVE YOURSELF! Seriously. Jon Cryer. Run. Run fast.

    • Moo Cow Hunter

      Cryer may play an idiot on screen. But he’s the smartest in life. I’m sure he has his opinion on everybody but keeps his mouth shut and gets richer by 700K every week.

      • Agreed. By not having an emotional breakdown but still collecting 700k a week, he has emerged as the smartest of all.

      • El Jefe

        Exactly, Cryer is the smartest of the bunch and based on Charlie’s spending habits, may be the richest of the whole lot.

  7. Duck Soup

    Either he’s an idiot or he was high… or both.

  8. Dr.J.Fever

    Went to the TMZ link about this adviser. “Women will see their children as chicken wings” before eating them. True nut on par with that Orly woman.

  9. jt

    what producer n their right mind would want to hire these two morons now?

  10. Pity. Right when his acting career was about to really take off.

  11. Happy_Evil_Dude

    So, how long until Ashton Kutcher is caught trying to hide Mila Kunis’ corpse in the Warner backlot with Jon Cryer acting as a lookout?

  12. Leila

    charlie sheen has got to be the biggest pile of shit i have seen in a while. he was oppressed? driven crazy? of course, getting paid multi millions of dollars for the easiest job ever does seem like a form of torture. and of course, he couldn’t quit–he would have starved or been tortured by the oppressive dictator. now that you say it, chuck lorre is just like pol pot, man. just like him.
    Charlie for the love of all that is holy, shut up. You are a stone cold idiot, and everything you say–which you think is awesome–actually serves as a neon sign of your very low brain function.

  13. The Royal Penis

    “quasi-apologized”?

    Dude, Fish, when I read the poor kids apology it seems full on and genuine.

    He’s just being raped by the religious for nefarious purposes and doesn’t really fully understand what he’s saying(or thinking).

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