Charlie Sheen Weighs In On Angus T. Jones, Blames Chuck Lorre, Of Course

“I wonder who created the universe…”
“I wonder who’s going to bury that hooker I hit with a mace…”

In a surprising display of restraint, Charlie Sheen waited almost 24 hours before inevitably weighing in on his former Two And A Half Men co-star Angus T. Jones finding Jesus and shitting all over the show that lined his now-pious little pockets. And while Charlie contained himself to comparing the kid to the Hale-Bopp cultists for People, he went all out for TMZ if all out means predictably blaming Men creator Chuck Lorre without coining any catchphrases that helps me choose which friends and family to never speak to again. Goddamn you:

Charlie tells us, “Obviously, not having been there for some time, the Angus T. Jones that I knew and still love is not the same guy I saw on YouTube yesterday.”
He adds, “I dare anyone to spend ten years in the laugh-track that is Chuck Lorre’s hive of oppression and not suffer some form of an emotional tsunami.”

Angus has since quasi-apologized to the cast and crew of Two And A Half Men who practically raised him for the past ten years, but apparently has no intentions of leaving his new mentor from the video, Christopher Hudson, who is a real piece of work which is shocking to hear about a religious zealot. They’re usually full of calm, rational ideas about the world:

In the video, Jones says he discovered Hudson through his ForeRunner Chronicles video series — in which Hudson spouts off about a variety of topics … including:
— Why he believes Jay-Z is a Freemason with ties to the devil
— How Obama’s pro-gay agenda has similarities to Hitler
— How the NYC gas crisis can lead to cannibalism
In fact, Hudson warned his followers that the gas crisis can turn into a food crisis, forcing women to begin cannibalizing their own children — “Your baby might start looking like a chicken wing.”
So does Jones believe everything Hudson is preaching? It sure seems that way … because during the “testimony” video, Angus praised Hudson, saying, “I love watching ForeRunner Chronicles … all the information is so great.

Keep in mind, Charlie Sheen is a huge Alex Jones fan, so he really has no room to judge here when it comes to swallowing horseshit conspiracy theories. As for blaming Chuck Lorre, Charlie Sheen was also around Angus for most of his formative years and this is a guy who once spent an entire year yelling at a mansion filled with porn stars that he’s a jet. So it’s really a miracle this kid didn’t OD from a Hess truck stuffed with blow on Christmas morning. “What do you mean 11-year-olds can’t have coke? Since when?

Photo: Getty