Charlie Sheen’s Getting $25 Million in Warner Bros. Settlement. Oh, Good.

September 20th, 2011 // 41 Comments

After being fired from Two and a Half Men for repeatedly daring them to fire him via a hail of hookers, blow and crazy talk, Charlie Sheen is apparently going to receive a $25 million settlement from Warner Bros. after originally suing them for $100 million for wrongful termination, according to the LA Times. What’s going to be great about this is watching his sober, remorseful demeanor this past week immediately revert back to filling a mansion with porn stars. And by great I mean fucking annoying because I’m pretty sure Charlie Sheen has run out of insane shit to say without discovering a new language. “So, I gave NASA $10 million just to find a new alien dialect for me to speak in, and this is what they came back with: ‘Klarktu swamptu abbasalt’ which roughly translates to ‘My penis is a wizard mountain’ in your loser Earth talk. I have won you!”

Photos: Getty



    …:( im sorry…ive always wanted to say that…. was the first time ive said ‘FIRST’

    i feel good about myself

  2. General Disarray

    I picture him belly flopping into a pool of blow full of porn stars making snow angels. That’s worth at least $25 mil.

  3. Frank Burns

    And all over south America, cocaine dealers are celebrating.

  4. Because he’s such a mega-talent

  5. Cock Dr

    Crackhead Charlie has an excellent agent & legal team.
    They very much deserve their percentage of this enormous score.

  6. Facebook Me


    • bitingontinfoil

      …and the “L” in Losing when it comes to life!

      • well

        Guy went on a huge drugs n sex bender, publically slated his boss and basically did everything you’re not supposed to do as a T.V actor. Then he landed another sitcom and get’s a $25 million dollar settlement. He might be a massive prick but I’m not sure how you justify calling that losing.

  7. Carrie

    I watched the rerun of his Comedy Central Roast last night and I thought he was pretty funny and he was definitely well-spoken and articulate. My favorite part was the wife-beating jokes and then the camera panned to Brooke Mueller laughing her ass off. Oh well, if they could afford to pay him 10million/episode, then 25million is just pocket change to them.

    • Charlie was paid $1.25 million per episode…no TV show could survive paying $10 million per episode to one actor…most A List movie actors don’t make that per movie.

  8. bitingontinfoil

    …and now he know the secret behind the big “I wish you all the best” speech @ the Emmys.

  9. Venom

    It’s going to be a white Christmas after all. lol

    I don’t consider this a huge settlement or huge win really.
    He is getting paid for the work that he did and the money for syndication. That is what he was entitled to anyway. It is not like he sued them and got extra money.

    • degenerate

      Um, what is a “settlement,” exactly?

      • Venom

        A settlement in the traditional sense is like if I sued you for a $100,000 because I tripped on your sidewalk and I ended up taking $20,000.
        He just sued for what he was owed anyway, plus he had to pay massive legal fees, so I would hardly call it a win.

  10. Dan

    I bet his whores are all excited now!

  11. Charlie Sheen Warner Bros Settlement 25 Million
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s aging so gracefully.

  12. LJ

    Since the average TV Sitcom costs about $2 million per episode to produce, and since Charlie Sheen’s Production Company is going to produce a half hour sitcom based on the movie “Anger Management” staring Charlie Sheen, it sounds like Warner Brothers is providing Production Services for the first half season of Charlie’s new show. I’d bet Warners is distributing the show as well.

  13. Pippy Longcockings

    For an old hooker-banging crackhead, he doesn’t look that bad. I mean, think of all the drugs this fucker has done! And he’s rich and has a few functioning braincells left! Maybe he really IS winning!

  14. This was pretty much a slam dunk lawsuit. Charlie had a contract, he didn’t violate it, and was terminated for personal reasons. No matter how drunk he got, or how many hotel rooms he wrecked with hookers crying in the closet, he still managed to show up to work on time.

  15. maneater

    He looks ecstatic. Is it me, or are his teeth sparkling?

  16. Jesus Christ Himself

    I just did the math on this. If his manager wants to try to keep him out of jail, he’ll only have $6.25m max left out of this. The manager will take the cheque, give half to the government for taxes, keep his 15% of the gross, send 10% to Charlie’s agent, and then put the rest in Charlie’s account. Less, of course, any lawyers fees or other assorted payments. So really, $5m. And is there any way Charlie won’t blow through that in 6 months?

  17. me

    Rick Perry called…… he said he wants his suit and hairstyle back.

    • you forgot

      you failed to mention his lifestyle too….it sucks being on the campaign trail and pretending you live like God wants you too.

  18. rican

    That’s winning alright

  19. a pornstar

    I come in to work 7 minutes late, and my boss ‘wants to see me in his office’.

    I take 3 weeks vacation and my boss wants me to ‘notify him of vacation time, one year in advance’.

    I have to wear suits and heels and must look polished. A smile on my face, at .all.times.


    • TomFrank

      Pornstars have to wear suits and heels now? That’s some classy outfit you work for.

    • a porn director

      Why is Charlie Sheen a cunt? For being able to say what he felt and still get paid the money he was legally entitled… “SHIT”, I wish I could that. Call your fucking boss a cunt or hell even the studio heads that paid Charlie boy all the cash in the first place a cunt. Charlie momentarily found a way around the system of bullshit bosses, condescending gatekeepers, and soul crushing shit jobs just to barely pay rent/a mortgage. An you want to hate on the man for that… hell folks hate the slave drivers not the slaves that manage to escape!

  20. SheenHater

    It’s un-fucking-believable that this cocksucker gets anything more than a couple of .45 slugs popped in his fucking empty skull. With any luck he’ll overdose soon and we won’t need to hear about his wasted ass any longer. What a useless, fucking LOSER!!

  21. browny

    HE’S OLD AND UGLY. He has no business being on TV at all. Please, where are the Alex Skarsgard posts? Stop polluting the interweb with ugly, old, never weres and show us the real MEN.

    That is all.

  22. Charlie Sheen Warner Bros Settlement 25 Million
    Señor Pedro
    Commented on this photo:

    *cackle cackle*

  23. Charlie Sheen Warner Bros Settlement 25 Million
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my God…does she come already covered in coke? I’ll take her! How much?

  24. Charlie Sheen Warner Bros Settlement 25 Million
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought these Wifebeaters Anonymous meetings were supposed to be strictly confidential.

  25. Living la vida loca

    We all have to applaud Warner Bros. for continuing to supply us with entertainment.

    I wonder how long it will take to spend 25 mil on whores and coke….I’m guessing we’ll know the answer within a couple of years.

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