Charlie And The Cocaine Factory

November 30th, 2011 // 18 Comments

For those of you who wisely stopped paying attention to Charlie Sheen after realizing “Winning!” was more of a manic tic from hooker murder than an actual catchphrase, he’s in Colombia right now which should probably concern anyone even remotely concerned with the availability of cocaine which he swears isn’t the sole purpose of this trip if not his very being. TMZ reports:

As we previously reported, Sheen’s currently traveling around the country with a camera crew — and now, the Warlock tells TMZ it’s all part of an effort to remake a classic movie from the 70s, set in South America.
Sheen won’t disclose what the movie’s about — but claims he’s already reached out to Nicolas Cage about starring in the film.

When asked to describe the movie, Charlie simply told us … “Epic.”

So let me get this straight: Charlie Sheen claims he’s in Colombia researching a movie that’s going to star Nicolas Cage yet somehow be “epic.” Jesus Christ. I don’t think he could’ve sounded more like he’s down there making villagers bring him wicker basket after wicker basket full of blow at machine gun-point if he literally said, “I’m down here making villagers bring me wicker basket after wicker basket full of blow at machine gun-point.” It’d just sound too forced.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Deacon Jones

    Maybe he plans on ripping Nicolas Cage’s hairpiece off, mid-film, and snorting lines off his bald head while he makes his one go-to facial expression he always uses and looks into the camera.

  2. Cock Dr

    Crackhead Charlie is turning out to be quite the tough old bird.
    He’ll do his best to kill himself down there, but in reality will probably only lose a few more teeth and leave a few babies incubating inside the natives.

  3. stratacat

    i… i would see it… -_-

  4. mel

    i don’t know which i hate more; the denise richards massive-bush-brow or the pamela anderson chola-sharpie line drawn above the eyes.
    anyhow, i never found denise attractive. must be her mammoth eyebrows…or that she’s dumb…kardashian dumb.

  5. Toby Weymiller

    I would love to do blow on his man biscuits.

  6. riptide

    Love the title.

  7. Venom

    Well they are officially out of cocaine in Colombia for the next 3 weeks at least.

  8. Fry

    When he did that comedy roast he looked half-way decent, in these pictures he looks like a straight-up smack-head again. I’d watch a movie with Cage (Con Air FTW!) but Sheen? No chance in hell.

  9. MooseKnuckle

    I thought that was Martin Sheen… Charlie’s painting in the attic must have mold damage.

  10. The dude behind Charlie is all excited because he thinks that’s Charlie’s dick he’s holding.

    Anyone ever try to jack off a flashlight?

  11. The snozzberries taste like winning!

  12. Marshall Crist

    I would pay money to see CHARLIE AND THE COCAINE FACTORY.

  13. Charlie Sheen Columbia
    Great White Pygmy
    Commented on this photo:

    “And I wish for a third arm to hold my cigar.”

  14. AHA!!! The DEA has finally come up with a foolproof (emphasis on fool) strategy to eliminate THE major supply source of cocaine. Pure genius!

  15. *Yawn*

    Chucky, Chucky, Chucky … You’re lookin’ older than your daddy –

  16. Aussie Mama

    Great heading, Love Charlie!

  17. Do you know WHY Colombia produces coke in the first place? BECAUSE AMERICANS CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT IT! … and it’s all a matter of demand vs. supply!

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