Charlie And The Cocaine Factory

For those of you who wisely stopped paying attention to Charlie Sheen after realizing “Winning!” was more of a manic tic from hooker murder than an actual catchphrase, he’s in Colombia right now which should probably concern anyone even remotely concerned with the availability of cocaine which he swears isn’t the sole purpose of this trip if not his very being. TMZ reports:

As we previously reported, Sheen’s currently traveling around the country with a camera crew — and now, the Warlock tells TMZ it’s all part of an effort to remake a classic movie from the 70s, set in South America.
Sheen won’t disclose what the movie’s about — but claims he’s already reached out to Nicolas Cage about starring in the film.

When asked to describe the movie, Charlie simply told us … “Epic.”

So let me get this straight: Charlie Sheen claims he’s in Colombia researching a movie that’s going to star Nicolas Cage yet somehow be “epic.” Jesus Christ. I don’t think he could’ve sounded more like he’s down there making villagers bring him wicker basket after wicker basket full of blow at machine gun-point if he literally said, “I’m down here making villagers bring me wicker basket after wicker basket full of blow at machine gun-point.” It’d just sound too forced.

Photos: Splash News