Channing Tatum Named People’s Sexiest Man Alive

November 14th, 2012 // 38 Comments

Channing Tatum has been named People’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2012 and he’s already responded to the news with his usual “aw shucks” modesty nobody really knows he has because his movies have been terrible until just this year. (Here’s a little experiment: Watch G.I. Joe then 21 Jump Street and the fucking awesome Magic Mike and try to convince yourself they all star the same Channing Tatum. It’s impossible.):

“My first thought was, ‘Y’all are messing with me,’” says Tatum, who married actress Jenna Dewan-Tatum in 2009. “I told Jenna after we’d been in the bathtub washing our dogs because they’d gotten skunked.”
Says the actor: “She was like, ‘What?’”

“So then I’m like, ‘Yoooo…’ and she’s all, ‘Dayamn!’ And the dogs are like, ‘Woof,’ because they aren’t people and can’t talk even though that shit would be tight.”

Photos: Getty

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  1. Frank Castle

    Which male producers did this guy blow/bang? He can’t act and seems dumb as a post but he gets role after role.

  2. Deacon Jones

    Wow, did you just call Magic Mike “fucking awesome”?

    That’s a movie my wife and her girlfriends giggle about watching together when they have their “girls night” and get drunk on Pinot Grigio.

    • Cock Dr

      While I appreciate that our dear blogger is in touch with his gay side sometimes you have to wonder if he’s not only “in touch” but maybe grabbing and squeezing hard with both hands.

    • Sandoucheky

      I think Magic Mike is still the best movie of the year. 2012′s been a good Tatum year

  3. Cock Dr

    I am underwhelmed by all of the SMA choices this year.
    Buncha young puppy faces.
    Will assume that studios and agents paid big bucks for their product placement.

  4. Don

    America just keeps lowering the bar on “sexy”. I will make the cover next year at this rate.

  5. Brought It

    I have no respect for anyone who considers this mouth breather sexy. Florida is crawling with wanna be/former strippers like him.

  6. He is definitely handsome as hell… and he seems like a really cool guy. His down-to-earth personality makes him all-around sexy. I think he’s a great pick.

  7. Johnny P!

    Pubescent girls and closeted gay boys all over America who a) live in small, bible-belt towns and/or b) have very strict religious parents who disapprove of any form of ‘self-pleasure’ and/or c) have limited internet access (with parental controls in full force) will buy this issue of People and will treasure it as their ultimate dirty-secret masturbatory bible for years.
    For the rest of the world, it’s a collective: “meh.”

  8. Inner Retard

    G.I. Joe is a special movie. Don’t care what you think. It will be discussed in film schools, I’m sure. If talking about it schools can prevent just one filmmaker from doing something like this again it served its purpose.

  9. Alright, people, there is no denying he is handsome. And I thought 21 Jump Street was really funny, and he was funny in it. He’s kind of one-dimensional, but shit, even Brad Pitt plays a lot of the same character. So, I’m okay with the pic.

    Ryan Gosling, on the other hand, would’ve been a better choice. He’s fucking dreamy, has been in a million good movies in the past few years, and can actually act. Drive was beyond good. And he has range. Two years now it should’ve been the Gos, and you give it to Bradley Cooper and Channing Tatum? Ugh.

    • YoMamma

      I agree. While I wouldn’t kick Channing out of bed and I’d love to wash my delicates very slowly on his abs, he’s no Ryan Gosling.

      Besides, it’s not the Smartest Man Alive title and Channing is sexy in a boy next door kinda way.

      • Exactly. Mila Kunis was named sexiest woman alive, and she’s dating Ashton Kutcher, so we all know she doesn’t have all the brains in the world.

      • Also, if you look up some of the shit he has said, he’s actually pretty funny and has no filter which is refreshing. He seems like he has a good personality. Would still take Ryan Gosling over him any day. The Gos is hot, smart, a huge animal lover, and if you watch him on late night shows he is really humble and funny. He’s also broken up a fight and saved someone from a car running them over. He’s like the perfect man. Sigh.

      • eatme

        …oh hell yeah, I masturbate to “breaker high” re-runs every thursday night. got me one of those gold scorpion jackets too. looked real nice until the kids at the playground beat me up. Ryan can be my Young Hercules any day (except thursday which is reserved, per above).

      • hahahahahhahahaaaaaa

    • Colin

      I must be the only person left who doesn’t get Ryan Gosling. He’s so pointy. And stop all this talk about “interviews” and “personality.” I’ll agree that Channing Tatum is pretty fucking hot. Sure he looks about as intelligent as a bag of bricks, but who cares? It’s about who you’d rather hit, not who you’d rather date. That being said, there ARE still plenty of people who are more deserving, but that’s true every year.

    • KC

      I’m sorry but both Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum are both average. Neither one is particularly sexy even for a normal guy, not to mention a movie star. Neither one is ugly, but neither one has any special appeal and they’re both very meh in every way.

    • Sliver

      You’re right about Gosling. I saw Drive and despite the weird fucking sound track, I loved it, and I did not expect that. He is 6 kinds of hot. And I never get sick of looking at him.

  10. Fuck, I got robbed yet again. I demand a recount.

  11. El Jefe

    Ha Ha Ha, this untalented, guttural speaking cro-magnon tool is the sexiest man alive? I needed a good laugh tonight. Obviously he was smart enough to keep the tape of the producers he banged because this hack is not talented enough to act in a kindergarten play.

    Never seen a more wooden, emotionless actor in my life.

  12. Schweddy Snatch

    He reminds me of a pumped up French Stewart.

    “Why are you always squinting, French Stewart?” – Peter Griffin

  13. Joaquin ingles

    Oh hell yeah. I bet Cornelius or Mandemus win next year!

  14. Leah

    Ummm NO…hes not that tall, he isnt that good looking in the face, and hes arrogant…oh god NO NO NO!

  15. Jade

    I am happy with the choice. I think he is good-looking. I like manly-looking men, and honestly if you’re going for the sexiest man alive, I prefer one that looks manly and not metrosexual.

  16. Channing Tatum
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Channing Tatum: The male response to Kristen Stewart.

  17. Couldn’t they photoshop the skin cancerous shoulder?

  18. Bionic_Crouton

    I like ham so I’m okay with this.

  19. Channing Tatum
    Tim's Trees
    Commented on this photo:

    The douchiest of all douches. Showcasing the patented I Can’t Hear You Over How Awesome I Am look ™.

  20. corky

    whatever, he looks like he’s got a mild case of down syndrome!

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