Archive for the ‘Photos’ Category

Jon Hamm Called Justin Bieber A Shithead

April 21st, 2014 // 15 Comments
You Chose Wrong, Bitch
Jon Hamm Dating Show
Jon Hamm's Penis Lost A Dating Show Read More »

Jon Hamm is the cover interview for the May issue of Men’s Fitness who I’ll just assume has a monthly feature called “Zen And The Art of Letting People See Your Dick.” Less importantly (You read that.), he takes a crack at Justin Bieber for being a stupid little shithead surrounded by yes men. Via Radar:

Hamm’s on-set injuries are nothing, though, compared with the damage he sees young Hollywood talent inflicting upon themselves.
“Look at Bieber or whoever,” he says. “You’re like, ‘What the fuck, man? What are you doing? Why?’ There’s no one telling those people no, and it’s a shame.”
What young celebs like that really need, Hamm says, “is a mom or a dad or a really good friend who can say, ‘Hey, shithead!’ You see people in the world and you’re like, ‘Do you know how a washing machine works? Do you know how to wash a dish? Life skills are something we’re missing.
“There used to be a class that kids had to take in high school called home economics, which was cooking and sewing and just shit you needed to learn in life.”

And now for the part where he finishes me off: More »

Those Are Lea Michele’s Nipples

April 21st, 2014 // 33 Comments
Uh, They're Children Here
Lea Michele Nipple Kids Choice Awards
Lea Michele's Nips At The Kids Choice Awards Read More »

In case anyone’s in the mood for nipples frolicking through a hazy field from 800 yards away, here’s Lea Michele shooting a music video over the weekend where her top kept falling down because God smites awful people who should never be Batman. That being said, before anyone else points out that her gut looks like a goddamn murder scene, keep in mind, Lea Michele just had a miscarriage. Or am I thinking of a different horrible cunt? I should really make flash cards.

Photos: INFphoto, Pacific Coast News

Miley Cyrus Canceled Her Bangerz Tour

April 21st, 2014 // 25 Comments
Miley Cyrus Hospitalized
Miley Cyrus Hospital
Look At Her. So Sick, So Frail... Read More »

If you’ve noticed a sudden freshness to the air along with a general feeling of improved health across America, Miley Cyrus has officially canceled the remaining US dates of her Bangerz tour before she even got a chance to blow Teddy Roosevelt. Theoretically, the tour will resume in August once she’s recovered from an allergic reaction to antibiotics, but that’s if you believe the official story, and not the real one which is she miscarried Billy Ray Cyrus‘ baby. All the cool kids are doing it.

Photos: CYVR/AKM-GSI, Getty

Lindsay Lohan Had A Miscarriage, You Guys

April 21st, 2014 // 62 Comments
Previously In Horseshit
Lindsay Lohan Legs High Slit Dress Coachella
Lindsay Got Drunk At Coachella Read More »

Here’s a quick little timeline of this post for the sake of reinforcing what a gaping cuntbag of a liar Lindsay Lohan is which is my main thesis here if not every single time I talk about her. So last night I got some posts set up in advance because my car’s in the garage right now, and the WiFi at the dealership always blocks The Superficial’s pics. (I can’t imagine why.) Originally, this post was titled “Lindsay Lohan’s Sex List Was Part of Her 12 Steps, You Guys” because as of 9 PM EST Sunday night, that was her latest lie. And as always it was a fucking doozy because only Lindsay would literally try to say the handwritten list of celebrities she had sex with that somehow ended up at In Touch netting her tons of publicity – and presumably cash – was written for Step 5 of her AA recovery. It’s the kind of bullshit only Lindsay would say out loud with the genuine expectation of people hearing it and going, “Why that sounds perfectly reasonable, and she’s so pretty.” Except you’re not getting a post about that More »

Happy Easter, Constance Nunes, And Other News

April 20th, 2014 // 7 Comments

[Ed. Note: As you'll notice, it's technically still Easter, but we're giving our link partners some love a bit early thanks to the past three days we took off to thumb our buttholes in a fit of lethargy. And trust me when I say that's nowhere near as seductive as it sounds. It's MORE. - SW]

- James Franco responds well to criticism. [Lainey Gossip]

- Gwyneth Paltrow is taking celebrity friend selfies now. Fuckdammit… [Dlisted]

- Cute Girls Make The Sun Shine A Bit Brighter [theCHIVE]

- Dolly Parton has no fucking clue what Miley Cyrus is doing. [Fishwrapper]

- There’s literally a shortage of sturdy shower rods thanks to Mimi Faust‘s sex tape. [The Frisky]

- Heather Graham will never stop being hot. [Popoholic]

- For the love of God, please pay attention to Sofia Vergara‘s ass. [Starpulse]

- Paul Walker‘s brothers are making sure the world gets a seventh Fast & Furious movie. [tooFab]

- Ashley Greene‘s gym owes her a refund. [IDLYITW]

- Karolina Kurkova‘s hotness is back. [Hollywood Tuna]

- The Sexiest Social Media Pics of the Week [Celebslam]

- Samuel L. Jackson is doing a Quentin Tarantino live-read. Fuck yes. [FilmDrunk]

- That’s Scarlett Johansson‘s labia. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

The Most Important People on The Internet: Zombie Jesus Edition

April 18th, 2014 // 64 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet coming at you a day early thanks to America’s magic mascot rising from the dead two thousand years ago because that’s literally how long we’ve been beating the zombie genre into the ground. Anyway, I’ve also got two long as shit comments that broke our gallery, so special thanks to Pierce Bronzetan and cmonreally for paying careful attention to Katherine Heigl‘s Duane Reade lawsuit and pointing out the goddamn ridiculousness of Kim Kardashian‘s Audrey Hepburn photo shoot respectively. May the Holy Bunny fill your Fallopian tubes with assorted eggs, candies, and those little birds made out of marshmallows. For as it is written. More »

The Crap We Missed – Thursday 4.17.14

April 17th, 2014 // 371 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, your final installment for the week as Fish and I take pause tomorrow to call our dads and thank them for not making us die an excruciating death so that you all can live your lives like giant assholes, ignore everything we taught you, but promise real hard that you love us, so you can come live in our kickass tree fort when you die. Seriously dad, thanks for not doing that, I mean, you’d have to be a real sadist to pull some shit like that on your own kid.

So enjoy Michael Douglas getting photobombed, Jon Hamm and the easiest ‘objects may be larger than they appear’ joke opportunity ever, and the tremendous run of random butts starting here that I shoved into this thing because resurrecting boners is a passion I take seriously.

Happy Easter,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN