Archive for the ‘Most Important People’ Category

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.5

February 18th, 2013 // 53 Comments

If you follow The Superficial on Facebook and/or Twitter, then you know I got punched in the dick with the flu and have been out of it all weekend. If you don’t, well, now you know what that hole is in your life, and frankly, it’s a miracle you’ve been getting out of bed in the morning. So here’s the latest installment of The Most Important People on The Internet that should’ve gone up on Saturday, and I hope you like Adele jokes.

[Pithy comment here],

- The Superficial

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Photo: Splash News

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.4

February 9th, 2013 // 44 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which, as you can see, continues this week’s theme of What’s Wrong With Your Face?! (If you have no idea what that means, click here, clear the next 70 minutes of your day, thank me later.) And if you have no idea who that is above, it’s actually Lil Kim and not a member of the Jackson family who I’m sorry to inform is not looking at proof that Michael‘s still alive so you can stop alerting schools now. Or not because, after another look, I honestly don’t feel comfortable calling this one. Better safe than sorry, amirite?

Hee hoo!

- The Superficial

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Photo: Getty

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.3

February 2nd, 2013 // 46 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet brought to you by Jesus And The Amazing Homoerotic Pube Bone, so it really needs no introduction, Which is why I’m going to completely get out of the way and let you dive right into this impressive amount of random because, seriously, a Scott Bakula joke? I want to be inside all of you.

All of you…

- The Superficial

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The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.2

January 26th, 2013 // 45 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where, for those of you just tuning in, is a spotlight on the ridiculous comments that somehow managed to bring a chuckle to my jaded, impenetrable heart. It’s also a remarkably effective way of helping the government compile a list of online sex offenders which I just remembered I wasn’t supposed to tell anybody. Shit. I can fix this: Nobody get the drop on the Chris Hansen now that you know he’s coming. Just act surprised and, more importantly, don’t already be taking a seat right over there. Unless, of course, you want to know how Michael Jackson really died.

See? All better,

- The Superficial

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The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.1

January 19th, 2013 // 85 Comments

Welcome to the triumphant, jam-packed return of The Most Important People on The Internet and while this week’s installment is extra-loaded, it’s not because I included comments from the week from hell, but because at least 20 of these were from Monday. 20. So a special thanks to you little deviants for being the Viagra for this edition’s word-boner. On a less-penis-jokey note, I want to call out the real winner of the Internet this week and it’s 19-year-old Zack Kopplin who’s making an actual difference in this backwoods country instead of flopping around the floor of a church gym on Wednesday nights pretending he’s possessed by his imaginary friend’s ghost. (Wow, that came off salty.) So screw Manti Te’o. Screw Megan Fox. Screw Taylor Swift. This kid’s story is the Jon Hamm’s penis tits. I love tits. Ahaha!

‘The hell’s a Freudian slip?

- The Superficial

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The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.0

January 6th, 2013 // 33 Comments

Welcome to the first installment of The Most Important People on The Internet for 2013 which is a little light thanks to an already short week that got even shorter when our server ate some bad sushi Thursday night. (Not a Samantha Ronson joke.) The important thing is the Rihanna caption is probably the greatest comment I’ve ever read on this site, and that’s coming from a man who still thinks “I’d pee in her butt” is the crowning achievement of the English language and the only true way to say “I love you.”

I doff my cap to you, young master JC, may your pees be strong and true,

- The Superficial

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The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.52

December 22nd, 2012 // 65 Comments

Welcome to 2012′s final installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which is, admittedly, not our strongest considering most of us checked out around Tuesday and have entered the third holiday stage: Hating anyone in a store that isn’t you. Fa la la la la! In the meantime, just a heads up on the galleries: You can navigate them now just by using the left and right arrow keys on your keyboard which I see has caused some confusion on The Crap We Missed. Also, definitely know the galleries start geeking out when it tries to load the next one, along with other fun little bugs we’re working on that come with change. Scary, scary change. *clings to gun and Jebus* But real talk: Look how fast you can ogle Alex Morgan‘s butt. Time and space practically cease to exist.

See you Monday for a holiday send-off starring you’ll never guess who,

- The Superficial

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Photo: Courtesy of TMZ