Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

The Old Amanda Bynes Is Back

September 30th, 2014 // 28 Comments
Amanda Bynes Telly Video
WATCH: This Is How Amanda Bynes 'Gets Ready'

I gave Amanda Bynes‘ parents a lot of shit about their conservatorship because they seemed to be more concerned about her money and a little too quick to blame everything on weed instead of admitting she has a severe mental illness. However, to their credit, they did manage to keep her under wraps without a single driveway being exploded or reports of a Rolling Bong of Death terrorizing downtown. Except the conservatorship ended earlier this month and it took her all of three weeks to get arrested for DUI, so before I go any further, GET OUT OF THE ROAD. TMZ reports:

Amanda Bynes was arrested in Los Angeles Sunday after cops determined she was driving under the influence … and our law enforcement sources say she was on a STIMULANT … but we’re told she has also developed a serious weed problem … again.
Here’s what we know — Bynes was driving a Mercedes in the San Fernando Valley when she stopped in the middle of an intersection on Van Nuys Blvd.

We’re told Amanda has moved out of her parents home and is now living in an Orange County apartment. We’re told she has been smoking weed for weeks and things are bad again.

According to TMZ, Amanda was high on Adderall and from the sound of things, keeping her shit together for the past year had to be a goddamn chore because her parents basically let the conservatorship expire and are convincing themselves she’s all better now: More »

Good Morning, Anais Zanotti, And Other News

September 30th, 2014 // 6 Comments

- Apparently Brad Pitt loves Shia LaBeouf. [Lainey Gossip]

- Those Amy’s Baking Company crazies are trying to stab people now. [Dlisted]

- Sideboob: Ain’t nothing wrong with that. [theCHIVE]

- Annie Lennox just took a shot at Beyonce. [Fishwrapper]

- David Hasselhoff just redeemed himself for letting Justin Bieber ride in KITT. [The Mighty]

- Yes, let’s get mad about porn emails and not that half of my state is being fracked to shit. [The Frisky]

- An 11-year-old got shot while clubbing because Florida. [WWTDD]

- Robert Pattinson‘s new girlfriend is turning Twihards into racists. [Death and Taxes]

- Goddamn, Arianny Celeste… [Popoholic]

- Kendall Jenner‘s underboob, anyone? [tooFab]

- The #IAmARepublican campaign is backfiring spectacularly. [The Daily Banter]

- Bryana Holly looks fun. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Nicki Minaj has way bigger tits. Shenanigans! [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

Kelly Brook’s Single Again

September 29th, 2014 // 24 Comments

Kelly Brook and David McIntosh reportedly broke up and surprisingly the reason wasn’t, “His dick was a boner all the time,” which would make sense, but according to the Daily Mail, it’s because he cheated on her giant, awesome breasts which doesn’t make sense. Maybe I’m putting too much emphasis on them, but if they told me to wage jihad, I’d start taking pilot lessons. That’s just me and my ability to commit if Kelly happens to be reading this. And skipping that jihad part. They make me put that in there.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

Emily Ratajkowski & Reese Witherspoon In Red

September 29th, 2014 // 18 Comments

You’re probably thinking it’s a dick move to put Reese Witherspoon in a gallery with Emily Ratajkowski, and that I’m only doing it to make another joke about her being pregnant. And you’re right, but before I make the voices stop, I’d like to take a second to compliment Reese for holding her own even while wearing almost the exact same dress. A lesser woman would’ve shrunk from the challenge, but Reese Witherspoon not only stabbed adversity with her chin but yelled, “Fuck you, I’m pregnant!” right into its face. I saw the whole thing.

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Photos: JosiahW / MPNC / AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

‘Please, Just Let Me Look At Fashion With My Tits And My Baby’

September 29th, 2014 // 35 Comments

“Guys, guys, please. I’m just a working mom trying to sit front row at a Paris fashion show with my tits and my baby. And Kanye West. I don’t know how you always show up when I’m out with my tits and my baby, and Kanye West, but you probably think I’m going to get tackled again with my tits and my baby. And Kanye West. Well, let me tell you one thing I’d never pay a Ukrainian comedian to tackle: My tits and my baby. Not that I paid one the first time nor is it convenient that happened while I didn’t have my tits and my baby out. You know what? Let’s look at my tits and my baby now. Have you seen my tits and my baby? Let them into your mind…”

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Photos: Abaca / Vantagenews / Xposure / AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Jennifer Lopez & Leah Remini Hit By Drunk Driver

September 29th, 2014 // 26 Comments
Jennifer Lopez & Iggy Azalea
Jennifer Lopez Booty Ft Iggy Azalea Video Screencaps
Ass Videos Are The New Twerking Read More »

According to Jennifer Lopez‘s Instagram, she has a butt. And while that seems as good a place as any to wrap this post up because its work here is done, she also apparently got hit by a drunk driver on Saturday while sitting at a red light with Leah Remini and their kids in the car. Fortunately, nobody was hurt except for JLo who only speaks in hashtags now:

Sitting at a light, Riding high right before some drunk fool rear ended us in my new whip!!! Thank god everyone ok!!! #GRATEFUL #THANKYOUGOD #DontdrinkandDrive!!!! #cursedthatfoolout #theBronxcameout #dontmesswithmycocnuts #mamabear #leahstayedcalm #thatwasweird

According to police reports, the driver identified himself as “Com Truise” before levitating into the air with telekinetic space beams, so good luck figuring out whoever that was. It might as well have been a ghost.

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Jesus, Maitland Ward, Let Me Get Some Coffee First And Other News

September 29th, 2014 // 26 Comments

- Total Recall probably didn’t help Jessica Biel land a part in True Detective. [Lainey Gossip]

- Chelsea Clinton had a baby. [Dlisted]

- There Are Sexy Chivers Among Us [theCHIVE]

- Okay, the NFL isn’t all bad. You got me. [The Mighty]

- But just in case, Adrianne Curry promises to murder her son if he beats woman. [Fishwrapper]

- Chris Pratt on SNL just exploded the Internet’s panties. [The Frisky]

- Tyler Perry got a woman pregnant? That can’t be right. [WWTDD]

- This American Life didn’t drop-kick shit. These assholes will still be our ruling class. [Death and Taxes]

- That’s Vanessa Hudgens‘ ass in leggings. [Popoholic]

- Avril Lavigne turned 30 without Chad Kroeger. [tooFab]

- Settle down, Demi Lovato. [IDLYITW]

- Amanda Cerny getting an ice cream facial, anyone? [Hollywood Tuna]

- The Sexiest Social Media Pics of The Week [Celebslam]

- Goddamn, Mara Teigen. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News

Anna Kendrick & Cara Delevingne Are Your New Fappening

September 29th, 2014 // 32 Comments
The Fappening 2
Kim Kardashian Ass Swimsuit Instagram
Aw, Did Someone Feel Left Out? Read More »

So it looks like we’re going to do this every weekend now because Anna Kendrick and Cara Delevingne are your latest celebrities to have nude photos leaked online by “hackers,” according to Gawker, who also reports a bunch of other people were in this batch except I have no idea who half of them are:

Misty-May Treanor
Alexandra Chando
Kelli Garner
Brook Burns
Lauren O’Neil
Briana Evigan

There were also more Jennifer Lawrence pics because apparently she’s our nation’s most abundant source of amateur pornography. In the meantime, you’ll notice I’m not linking to any of these pics thanks to the Emma Watson 4-chan circle-jerk that left the Internet shaking its damn head and wondering what its doing with its life. I will, however, link to topless photos of Cara Delevingne on a nude beach because they’re legal and coating things with a hypocritical tinge is this year’s salted caramel. Remember how people went nuts over salted caramel? That’s the kind of shit we should really be talking about. How do we make that stop happening?

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Photos: Getty