Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Good Morning, Michelle Lewin, And Other News

November 25th, 2014 // 20 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

- Jennifer Aniston still has to talk about the Rachel haircut. [Lainey Gossip]

- Demi Lovato says she has nothing in common with Miley Cyrus, but I believe penis cake would tell a whole different tale. [Fishwrapper]

- Amber Heard is tired of old penis is how I read this. [Dlisted]

- This gallery isn’t tits, but it’s worth it for Asian Johnny Depp, I swear. [theCHIVE]

- Scientology is getting an HBO documentary. I didn’t even know Matt Lauer worked there. [The Frisky]

- Rose McGowan is going to continue being topless. Get on board. [WWTDD]

- Michael Bay‘s boner just exploded. It died. [Death and Taxes]

- Jessica Alba‘s Instagramming workout videos now. [Popoholic]

- Kim K Superstar earns Ray J $360,000 a year. *hangs self* [Celebslam]

- Bella Thorne is about to go full “Fuck You, Disney.” [Hollywood Tuna]

- This is Alyssa Arce completely naked. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photo:Splash News

The 2014 American Music Awards

November 24th, 2014 // 118 Comments

Now that we’ve seen Nakedsaurus, Rise of The Sasquatch Nip Guardians, Cry For Me, Justintina, and BUTTFORCE 9000, here’s the rest of The 2014 American Music Awards which you’ll probably notice contains a disproportionate amount of Kate Beckinsale pics even though she’s not a musical artist. Like anyone else there was. Check your privilege.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, MPNC / Piaggio / AKM-GSI, Splash News

AMAs: Jennifer Lopez & Iggy Azalea Touched Butts

November 24th, 2014 // 20 Comments

ABC explicitly warned Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea not to touch butts while performing “Booty” for the AMAs because it’s a family show. Which is funny because on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., another “family show” designed to promote Disney’s Marvel universe, I watched a man murder a woman before carving alien hieroglyphics into her corpse. Then again, you couldn’t see her sex parts, so gather around, children! Anyway, here’s JLo and Iggy defying said warnings and touching butts which did not send humanity plunging into darkness. However, if Kim Kardashian’s ass had rolled in and touched their connected butts, we’d all be speaking a strange dialect and harvesting cloud gems to power intergalactic space elevators. I have foreseen it.

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, MPNC/AKM-GSI, Splash News

AMAs: Selena Gomez Didn’t Wear A Bra

November 24th, 2014 // 20 Comments

I wasn’t joking about gunning through these, so here’s Selena Gomez at the AMAs where she wore a braless dress and cry-sang about Justin Bieber because 22-year-olds are dumb. Congratulations, you are now the foremost expert on all things Selena Gomez and may now demand the severed, gilded hands of your co-workers’ children as tribute. Or an omelet bar. Whatever you people do in offices. I don’t have all day for this.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, MPNC / Piaggio / AKM-GSI, Splash News

AMAs: Kendall & Kylie Brought The ‘Squatch

November 24th, 2014 // 39 Comments

Full Disclosure: I’ve got another giant-ass post to write about Bill Cosby, so I’m literally just throwing AMAs pics in your face starting with the least relevant and working my way up. Which is probably the greatest compliment I’ll ever give the Kardashians because I posted Kylie, Kendall and Khloe after Bleona Qereti and immediately regret it. More importantly, Kylie flashed her nipple during E!’s red carpet coverage because Kris Jenner‘s Internet game is strong, but I’m going to stick to just linking it because I can already see Chris Hansen hiding inside my coffee mug even though Miley Cyrus‘ vagina taught us in 2010 that that shit’s entirely legal. What now, Hansen? – *takes sip of coffee, gets punched in the tongue* – Dammit! It was that. That’s what’s now.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Piaggio/AKM-GSI, Splash News

AMAs: What The Hell Is A Bleona Qereti?

November 24th, 2014 // 28 Comments

According to Wikipedia, Bleona Qereti is the “Madonna of Albania” and a reality TV person on Bravo’s Euros of Hollywood. I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that information, but let the record show that I tried to get to know a woman first before yelling, “You sure got nice bewbs!” inevitably making her mine and mine alone forever. I’m growing as a person.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, MPNC/AKM-GSI, Splash News

Katy Perry’s Giant Breasts Twerking In A Bikini

November 23rd, 2014 // 44 Comments

Katy Perry got into some sort of fight with the paparazzi in Sydney on Friday and made fun of their tiny penises, but everybody seems to be friends now because here are bikini photos of her giant breasts that I’m posting now so they don’t get buried beneath AMAs red carpet pics, or worse, the eight million stories flying out of Bill Cosby‘s Jell-O raping pop. That guy’s done enough shit to women – “allegedly.” He’s good for a while.

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Photos: INFphoto.com

Lindsay Lohan Thinks She’s Poised For A Hollywood Comeback

November 21st, 2014 // 38 Comments
Choppers Full Of Coke
Lindsay Lohan Falling Down Drunk Panty Flash Upskirt Ischia Global Fest Gala
Lindsay Is Friends With People Who Have Them. Read More »

Posted by Photo Boy

Lindsay Lohan‘s starring run in Speed-the-Plow will end November 29th, but before she heads back to the states finally giving England a change to delouse their capitol city, she’s of course already talking about how successful her career’s about to be. Via Radar Online:

“Lindsay is doing better than she has in years!” a close friend of the once-troubled star tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.“Lindsay is determined to be a movie star again.”

“And then Lindsay turned her gaze slightly from the mirror, eyes averted as the lights in the room dimmed without anyone touching a switch. The creature now visible in the darkened dressing room vanity had sagging, gray circles under its eyes. Eyes that were crowded with once playful freckles, now slowly melting into liver spots. Clutching at its pendulous, withered breasts and heaving them sickeningly upwards, it hissed ‘Okay girls, we’re back in the game but this could be our last chance. Anything tries to stop us, we blow it, or kill it and it doesn’t even have to be in that order.’”

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Photo: Getty