Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Jessica Biel Is Pregnant. For Real.

November 5th, 2014 // 13 Comments

It seems like only six days ago I wrote a post about Jessica Biel being pregnant, and that’s because I did because butt photos: whatever gets them on the site. But this time, there’s an “official” announcement from Us Weekly, so now we can all sleep at night knowing that, yes, Justin Timberlake has in fact banged his wife enough times to finally make a stork put a fetus in her uterus-box. Just try not to think about how much you spent on Ambien. That’s over now. It’s in the past. You did what you had to do and no one’s judging you. For all we know, he could’ve been not fucking her. There was just no way to tell.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty

Welp, The Democrats Just Lost

November 4th, 2014 // 37 Comments

While it’s pretty much a given that today’s midterm elections will favor the Republicans because old, white people have nothing but time on their hands to vote, Kim Kardashian tweeting her support for Obama isn’t helping. You can just go ahead and call the whole thing right now. Not to mention, her “support” basically uses the President of the United States as an ad for her “Hollywood” app which should probably count as treason. Unless, of course, he’s actually in the game, and the final level involves buying the right dress so Obama will pee on you in a sex tape which would be some crazy stark realism. How is this thing not winning awards?

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Photo: AKM-GSI

Maitland Ward Meets Stan Lee And Other News

November 4th, 2014 // 25 Comments

- Here’s what Eva Mendes looks like after squeezing out a Baby Goose baby. [Lainey Gossip]

- Taylor Swift pulled all of her songs off Spotify. [Dlisted]

- The Ever-Elusive Downblouse [theCHIVE]

- Will Smith basically stalks his wife. [Fishwrapper]

- Kate Upton will start your Election Day GIFs now. [COED]

- Ryan Gosling is a porn star lumberjack now. [The Frisky]

- Goddamn, Sylvie Meis… [WWTDD]

- Bill Clinton will photobomb your child’s meltdown. [Death and Taxes]

- Selena Gomez is braless. [Popoholic]

- Matthew McConaughey used to kill armadillos for a living. Yup. [tooFab]

- Nina Agdal belongs in a bikini. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Barbara Palvin‘s topless. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: INFphoto, Splash News

That’s Kate Upton’s Butt

November 3rd, 2014 // 19 Comments

And now back to Celebrity’s Underwear, Can I See Them? Here’s Kate Upton‘s skirt flying up while she poses in front of a wind machine in Miami. Which, yes, is pretty anti-climactic after seeing her naked*wipes SEO off chin* – but at the same time, the post before this had a picture of Lena Dunham‘s face, so I know at least half of your penises screamed “OH THANK GOD!” before exploding into dust. On that note, do powder-burns come out of pajama pants? Asking for a friend.

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Photos: FameFlynet

Rihanna Will Make You Want To Bang Raphael Now

November 3rd, 2014 // 19 Comments

The right wing media is waging a horseshit campaign to paint Lena Dunham as a child molester, but before we get to that, let’s look at Rihanna‘s tits painted like a Ninja Turtle because I’m almost positive this is the story on everyone’s mind that will define us a generation. Or make me watch the shit-ass Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie again and hope one of them grow breasts. Again. (I’m a dreamer.)

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Josiah / AKM-GSI, Splash News

It’s Heidi Klum’s Halloween Costume

November 3rd, 2014 // 12 Comments

Every Halloween Heidi Klum wears an overly elaborate costume as she’s done each year (except for last when she merely revealed her true form) since Hitler summoned her from the demonic realm to vanquish his enemies and festoon the Fatherland with topless tittery. So here she is transformed into a beautiful butterfly which I’m pretty sure was the plot of Red Dragon, so somebody make sure Heidi Klum’s not biting corpses with her dentures. She takes getting into character very seriously. In 2010, NASA caught her trying to hijack a shuttle to return to Purple Nipplelon 7. Fifteen people died.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Josiah / STMX / Vantagenews / AKM-GSI, Splash News