Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

It’s Heidi Klum’s Halloween Costume

November 3rd, 2014 // 12 Comments

Every Halloween Heidi Klum wears an overly elaborate costume as she’s done each year (except for last when she merely revealed her true form) since Hitler summoned her from the demonic realm to vanquish his enemies and festoon the Fatherland with topless tittery. So here she is transformed into a beautiful butterfly which I’m pretty sure was the plot of Red Dragon, so somebody make sure Heidi Klum’s not biting corpses with her dentures. She takes getting into character very seriously. In 2010, NASA caught her trying to hijack a shuttle to return to Purple Nipplelon 7. Fifteen people died.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Josiah / STMX / Vantagenews / AKM-GSI, Splash News

Kelly Brook’s Breasts Are The Devil And Other News

November 3rd, 2014 // 21 Comments

- Benedict Cumberbatch describes how Sherlock would fuck. Bring a change of underwear. [Lainey Gossip]

- Olivier Martinez‘s punches ruined Gabriel Aubry‘s modeling career. — I believe it. [Dlisted]

- Sunday Is A Good Day For Lingerie [theCHIVE]

- For the love of God, Tara Reid, please stop taking selfies of your crotch. [Fishwrapper]

- The Foolproof Way To Get Out Of The Friendzone: Dress Like An Asshole [The Frisky]

- Karlie Kloss is in lingerie. [WWTDD]

- “Dear Navy SEALS, stop bragging on FOX News.” – The Pentagon [Death and Taxes]

- So who wants to see Hayden Panettiere as a pregnant cat person in a bikini? [Popoholic]

- Furious 7 has a trailer. See if you can spot the strings on Paul Walker‘s corpse! [tooFab]

- Taylor Swift is a Pegacorn. [IDLYITW]

- You should know what to expect by now. [Girls In Cute Underwear]

- What’s up, Naya Rivera? [Hollywood Tuna]

- The Sexiest Social Media Pics of The Week [Celebslam]

- I do not pay enough attention to Shay Mitchell. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News, Xposure/AKM-GSI

Jessica Biel’s Probably Pregnant

October 31st, 2014 // 19 Comments

The biggest rumor going around right now is that Jessica Biel is probably pregnant which was only fueled more by the editor of InStyle publicly congratulating her on her “impending motherhood,” and Justin Timberlake showing up to the amfAR Gala without her. On top of that, you’ve got these photos that cost way more than I can afford, so fortunately I have these two-year-old bikini photos of her butt which are sort of like clues. Maybe the ocean is the father? Did anyone think of that? No, it’s always about you.

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Photo: Fame/Flynet

Good Morning, Vivica Mitra, And Other News

October 31st, 2014 // 6 Comments

- Twas not Gwyneth who bowed to Justin Timberlake, but the other way around… [Lainey Gossip]

- You’re getting another Pee-wee Herman movie. [Dlisted]

- Things That Bounce Thursday: Experience it again for the very first time. [theCHIVE]

- Alessandra Ambrosio is naked. [tooFAB]

- #GamerGate is going to bring down Viacom now. Good luck with that. [The Frisky]

- That’s Chloe Sevigny topless. [WWTDD]

- You can get college credit for reading The Superficial now. [Death and Taxes]

- Fucking. Love. This. Tumblr. [Girls in Cute Underwear]

- Xenia Deli‘s in a bikini now. [Popoholic]

- Lindsay Lohan isn’t dating Tom Cruise. Relax. [Fishwrapper]

- What’s up, Holly Hagan? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Good God, Sabrina Ioffreda… [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

Chelsea Handler’s Naked Breasts Have Declared War On Instagram

October 30th, 2014 // 59 Comments
Previously In Topless
Candice Swanepoel Topless
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The last time Chelsea Handler showed everyone a naked breast, it was to promote her SiriusXM interview with Dave Grohl. This time she’s doing it to fuck with Instagram. And possibly all of us. It is the Devil’s Eve. Anyway, here’s the caption for the first (Correction: SECOND) topless pic:

Taking this down is sexist. I have every right to prove I have a better body than Putin.

And here’s her response after it was immediately pulled:

If a man posts a photo of his nipples, it’s ok, but not a woman? Are we in 1825?

Which didn’t deter her because, dammit, people are going to look at Chelsea Handler’s naked boobs if they have to look at Vladimir Putin‘s. The universe demands equaltitrium! More »

At Least Jenny McCarthy’s Breasts Aren’t Horribly Damaging Kids- Wait

October 30th, 2014 // 8 Comments

Usually this is the part where I post T&A pics to rinse everybody’s brains from the child-destroying garbage that came before it. It’s a small service I provide for the community, but I don’t like to brag about it. Except I kind of fucked up and forgot to leave out the part where kids get absolutely screwed. There were boobs, and the butter woman was all, “Ah, chicaboog noon-eeg, Solo. You weren’t molested. Ho ho ho ho.” Things got a little hectic.

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Photos: Getty, MPNC/AKM-GSI

Rihanna’s Breasts Fought AIDS, Too

October 30th, 2014 // 10 Comments

Here’s Rihanna at yesterday’s amfAR Inspiration Gala where she spent the whole night saying things like, “Damn! Miley Cyrus and that mouse with an Australian accent just shot a guy with a plunger!” And, “Oh snap, that fly’s wearing a red shirt!” It really was an incredible evening. You should’ve been there.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty

Miley Cyrus Wore This To Fight AIDS

October 30th, 2014 // 35 Comments

Because every post about misogynistic reactions to the academic discussion of sexist tropes should be followed by pics of Miley Cyrus‘ cleavage, here she is at last night’s amfAR Inspiration Gala where she helped Dale and the other Rescue Rangers stop Fat Cat with a plane made out of a bleach bottle. People could hardly believe it.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto