Archive for the ‘Hot Bodies’ Category

Good Morning, Ana Braga, And Other News

October 10th, 2014 // 3 Comments

- Robert Downey Jr. misses Sarah Jessica Parker, is clearly addicted to horse-racing. [Lainey Gossip]

- Ryan Gosling‘s child bears a name. [Dlisted]

- It’s A Talent Just Breathing In These Dresses [theCHIVE]

- Gwyneth Paltrow wants to be besties with Jennifer Lawrence now. [Fishwrapper]

- Red Bull didn’t literally give people wings, so it lost a $13 million lawsuit. Yup. [The Frisky]

- Mayhem Miller live-tweeted his police standoff. [WWTDD]

- Dwarf strippers are knocking up brides at bachelorette parties. There’s hope for the future. [Death and Taxes]

- Hel-the-fuck-lo, Yara Khmidan. [Popoholic]

- Anne Hathaway posing “topless.” [tooFab]

- More Helen Flanagan Amazingness [Hollywood Tuna]

- Sara Malakul is naked. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

Shonda Rhimes Doesn’t Put Up With ‘Heigls’

October 9th, 2014 // 18 Comments
She Can't Hurt You Now
Katherine Heigl Resting Bitchface NBC Universal Summer TCA Tour
Ask Her How Difficult She Is Read More »

In case you’re not sure how deeply and openly Hollywood hates Katherine Heigl, or simply enjoy a reminder to lift your spirits like I do, here’s Scandal creator Shonda Rhimes telling The Hollywood Reporter the lessons she’s learned from working on Grey’s Anatomy:

By all accounts, Rhimes runs a tighter ship today.
Although her perfectionist tendencies coupled with Scandal‘s breakneck story pace can wreak havoc on deadlines — “We’re always behind,” she admits — the operation runs smoothly and the cast is tight-knit. “There are no Heigls in this situation,” she says, choosing her words carefully. She adds later of her “no assholes” policy: “I don’t put up with bullshit or nasty people. I don’t have time for it.”

I’ve honestly never watched a single episode of Shonda Rhimes shows because they don’t have superheroes in them going PEW PEW PEW, but after today, I promise to put at least one of them in my Netflix queue and think about watching it one day. That’s literally my highest honor, and I don’t just hand it out lightly. *looks at queue, notices Once Upon A Time* Or I do all the time because I’m a whore. Abandon post!

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Photo: Getty

Amanda Bynes Caught Shoplifiting Twice In One Day

October 9th, 2014 // 21 Comments
Nothing Alarming Here
Amanda Bynes Possible Engagement Ring
'There's A Microchip In My Head' Read More »

So the first time Amanda Bynes was caught shoplifting yesterday, it could’ve been an honest mistake because she’s crazy and easily distracted. Except not even a few hours later, she got caught again only this time because she doesn’t think she has to pay for goods and services which also checks out because have I mentioned crazy? TMZ reports:

According to our sources, employees at Pookie & Sebastian began following Bynes around the store because she was acting suspicious. We’re told they didn’t recognize it was Amanda, and just thought she was a “half-naked, homeless crackhead.”
Customers tell us Bynes was dancing and muttering about plastic surgery — but eventually she tried to bolt with a shirt stuffed between her arms. When an employee stopped her and asked if she was going to pay, Amanda said … “Do I really have to buy this?”
The answer, of course, was yes — and we’re told Bynes was actually cooperative … whipping out a credit card to cover the $128.

And, so, with a full day’s shopping under her belt, Amanda Bynes retired to Twitter for a quiet evening of threatening to sue magazines for printing the words she’s said to them. Unless, of course, they agree to run her wedding photos when she marries some 19-year-old kid she met at a bait shop. She’ll start the bidding at one government microchip remover. More »

Rita Ora’s Butt Isn’t Stephen Collins

October 9th, 2014 // 13 Comments

Yesterday, Hilary Duff‘s butt took our minds off the Stephen Collins god-awfulness, so today it’s Rita Ora‘s which isn’t quite as awesome, but I’m pretty sure it’s never said it wants to fellate a baby, so just shut up and look at it. Everything is happy. We’re in the happy place…

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Photos: INFphoto, Splash News, Xposure/AKM-GSI

Good Morning, Melissa Rummells, And Other News

October 9th, 2014 // 8 Comments

- Mahky Mahk lost 60 fuckin’ pounds. Give him an Oscah. [Lainey Gossip]

- Jennifer Garner says, “you’re welcome,” for Ben Affleck‘s dick. [Dlisted]

- Can We Just Stay In Bed All Day? [theCHIVE]

- Jessica Simpson‘s calves are out of control. [Fishwrapper]

- Sarah Silverman wants to abolish The Vagina Tax. [The Frisky]

- Miley Cyrus‘ VMA date is in jail already. [WWTDD]

- Nickelodeon event cancelled at NYC Comic-Con thanks to idiot’s epically racist interview. [Death and Taxes]

- Kate Upton‘s breasts demand to be free! [Popoholic]

- Kendra Wilkinson milking Hank’s affair is on TV now. [tooFab]

- Drake banged a stripper and regretted it immediately. [IDLYITW]

- Xenia Deli is still very, very hot. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Sofia Vergara is Botoxing. This won’t end well. [Celebslam]

- What’s up, Kirstin Liljegren? [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

Taylor Swift’s Trying To Bang Selena Gomez!

October 8th, 2014 // 35 Comments
STOP. GOING. BACK. TO. HIM.
Selena Gomez Braless Nipples Cleavage CR Fashion Book Issue No5 Launch Party
Justin Ditches Selena For The Kardashians Read More »

Okay, that headline might seem like sensationalistic click-bait, but I honestly don’t know how else you read this Selena Gomez quote without getting the impression that Taylor Swift wants to passionately tongue her vagina in a Brooklyn brownstone while Karlie Kloss watches from a window, her jealously steaming in the nighttime rain. E! News reports:

Taylor has been begging me to live there,” Gomez said. “She’s like, ‘It’s the best decision I’ve ever made.’ Everyone always says I’m more New York when they meet me so maybe it would be good for me. I don’t spend enough time there.”

See? She might as well have said Taylor Swift keeps sending her photos of her fist. I can’t be the only one getting that impression and doodling it onto any flat surface I can find. Why can’t I get her eyebrows right?

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, ROLO/AKM-GSI, SunOfHollywood.com / Splash News

Gwyneth Paltrow: ‘Martha Stewart Sees Me As Competition’

October 8th, 2014 // 23 Comments
Bitch, I'll Cut You
Martha Stewart Gwyneth Paltrow
And It Won't Be A Good Thing Read More »

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wait, she’s actually serious, isn’t she? Us Weekly reports:

“No one has ever said anything bad about me before, so I’m shocked and devastated,” Paltrow said sarcastically. “I’ll try to recover,” she added.
“If I’m really honest, I’m so psyched that she sees us as competition. I’m so psyched. I really am.”

I don’t think Gwyneth Paltrow fully appreciates who she’s messing with here. When Martha Stewart says something like, “She just needs to be quiet,” that’s not coming from a place of fear. That’s coming from a place of you specifically need to shut the fuck up before your shrill, gluten-free words piss her ears off. It’s like swatting at a mosquito if mosquitoes drove Vespas and think they have British accents. Which, again, proves my point that Gwyneth Paltrow would be more tolerable if she simply walked around spreading malaria. How many times are you going to make me keep saying it?

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Photo: Getty