Candice Swanepoel Won The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

November 14th, 2013 // 29 Comments
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In Scientology, anyone who undermines the teachings of the church is referred to as a Suppressive Person who must be excommunicated because they’re also Hitler. Which seems like a silly practice from a silly religion, except it’s probably not a bad idea for how you should treat anyone who tries to say the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show isn’t a competition that Candice Swanepoel won the shit out of. I’m just trying to stop another genocide here.

Photo: Getty, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. cc

    If this was baseball, her ‘win’ would be in the category of pitching a perfect game.

  2. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Yowza!
    She has such nice….eyes.

  3. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s all enjoy Candace now before she ages into a banana nosed granny. Now is the only thing that’s real!

  4. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a game face for when your’e nearly naked in front of thousands, teetering on high heels and have several million dollars worth of jewels festooned about your nipples.

  5. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup, she is outrageously beautiful. She hit the jackpot in the genetic lottery.

    • crb

      Imagine if they let her eat.

      She would be a freaking bomb-shell. Like GTFO, Jessica Rabbit-scale bombshell. Same with Emily Ratjakowski

      • asdf

        U kraxy. I want a tone chick who i can bend and twist this way and that as i work her. With just taut curves. She works just as she is.

  6. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re damn right she won this.

    Im convinced when she has bowel movements, a chorus of angels begin singing, a rift opens up, and the strawberry-smelling turd immediately rises into heaven.

  7. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    This, this…(weeps)

  8. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Could you imagine seeing this walk into your bedroom at night?

    I would start apologizing immediately for even existing.

  9. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmm, not one ass shot?

    Are these photos regulated or something?

  10. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa! When did that back fat slip in there?

    Would. Not. Do.

  11. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s just something weird about her.

    The body says, “Come hither,” but the face says, “I’m 45 with a lot of surgery.”

    • crb

      That’s what happens when you shred down to such a low bodyfat%.

      Actresses have a similar problem. Hollywood wants them thin, but then they start looking old b/c they lose the fat in their faces.

      See Amanda Peet in “The Whole 9 Yards” vs. her in “Something’s Gotta Give”

      The last place you’ll lose fat is between the bottom of your hips and your floating-ribs. By the time your abs really start getting visible, your extremities are absolutely shredded.

      Add onto that the fact a lot of women/models/actresses don’t lose weight or fat through proper nutrition, they lose it by starving themselves; -so then you’ve got no muscle on top of the bone, under the fat, filling out those convexities that make you look young.

  12. From the neck down, she’s super hot. But that Down’s Syndrome face with those weird puffy cheekbones don’t do it for me.

    Now where are the Doutzen Kroes‎ pictures? That woman is perfect.

  13. kimmykimkim

    I find her to be incredibly gorgeous. If her butt were slightly bubblier, she’d be perfect.

  14. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    3/4 quarters of her body are fucken long ,long, legs…….

  15. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she galloping? No way a SJP.

  16. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    crb
    Commented on this photo:

    Stretch-marks around the hips. 2/10; would not bang.

  17. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    crb
    Commented on this photo:

    Some of the best hips in the world, right there.

    • Beer for thought

      Hips? where? Her name should be pronounced sway’n pole. Too bad by the time she gets to eat something and actually get some tits and ass she will be retired and old.

  18. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Gorgeous look.

  19. richie

    probably the most perfect woman on the planet presently, though Charlize Theron will give her a run for the money.

  20. Johnny Barbells

    …i will never understand white boys.

  21. Candice Swanepoel Lingerie Victorias Secret Fashion Show
    Janice
    Commented on this photo:

    Granny pannys.

  22. Ughugh

    I don’t understand. She is a walking pole with little in the tit department to
    speak of. White guys love their starving blonde chicks.

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