Caitlyn Jenner Is Posing Naked For ‘Sports Illustrated’
“How do you shut Kanye up? One of these.”
When Caitlyn Jenner received an ESPY Award last year, conservatives fucking freaked and started frothing at the mouth about troops, Tim Tebow, and whatever stupid shit they could squeeze into a meme. So they’re really going to love seeing Caitlyn pose naked on the cover of Sports Illustrated even if its to commemorate the 40th anniversary of how she got famous enough for Kris Jenner to latch onto her. Us Weekly reports:
Caitlyn Jenner will appear on a summer cover of Sports Illustrated wearing “nothing but an American flag and her Olympic medal,” a source reveals in the latest issue of Us Weekly.
The 66-year-old I Am Cait star (formerly known as Bruce) set a world decathlon record at the 1976 Montreal Summer Games. To celebrate the 40th anniversary of her win, she’ll pose with her gold medal for the first time post-transition, adds the source: “She’s excited about that.”
As for how something like this could happen, Donald Trump lets Caitlyn Jenner use whatever restroom she wants in the Trump Tower, so clearly he’s in cahoots with Obama to make sure transgenders can listen to your kids pee at Target. It’s all part of his plan, so remember that on Election Day. A vote for Trump is a vote for hearing your wife dump. I even made it rhyme.