Caitlyn Jenner Dancing With Trump Will Heal America Or Some Shit
After Ted Cruz strangely didn’t want her endorsement during the primaries, Caitlyn Jenner threw her support behind Donald Trump because Caitlyn Jenner only has fucks to give about two things and two things only: Caitlyn Jenner’s money and golf. In return, Trump graciously offered to let her pee in any restroom of her choice in Trump Tower – which makes a whole lot of sense recently – then turned around and picked a running mate who believes in literally electrocuting the gay out of people. While a reasonable person would assume this might concern Caitlyn, the Republican Party still believes in giving tax breaks to the rich, so Caitlyn Jenner is at the inauguration as we speak where she might even dance with Donald Trump in hopes of tricking more gays into thinking, “Hey, maybe these people who want to shock our brains into Jesus mush aren’t so bad after all.” Page Six reports:
President-elect Donald Trump is being urged by some advisers to save at least one dance, as he celebrates his inauguration on Friday night, for a very special Republican lady — Caitlyn Jenner.
“It’s a brilliant idea,” a member of the incoming administration told me.
Besides mollifying the LGBTQ community — wary of conservative Republicans in general, and of Trump in particular — dancing with Jenner could mend fences within the party.
“Time heals all wounds,” one GOPer pointed out.
As of this post, Caitlyn Jenner’s team is denying any of this will go down, but they’re also being suspiciously coy because a reality star is attending the presidential inauguration of another reality star so goddamn anything is possible. Via PEOPLE:
“This is a ridiculous story,” a rep for Jenner tells PEOPLE. “There have been no discussions about who Caitlyn will or won’t dance with, or if she will dance at all. I can’t deal in hypotheticals and have no idea what any Trump aids hope happens. Of course, real question is if they danced, who would lead?”
“Mr. President, quick, there’s a TV camera.”
“Caitlyn, quick, there’s a TV camera.”
“Dip me, Donald!”
“I want your pee!”
- How that’s going to go down