Bryan Singer’s Directing ‘X-Men: Days Of Future Past’ Now (‘First Class 2′ To People Who Get Laid)

Where the hell has this picture been all my life?

Despite doing a boob-diamondly awesome job with the rushed-to-production X-Men: First Class, director Matthew Vaughn has walked from the sequel, X-Men: Days Of Future Past, Is That Hitting The Spot, Nerds? Yeah, You Like That White-Walled Wolverine Shit, Sluts, which apparently forced Fox to drive a bucket of cash up to Bryan Singer’s door and beg him to direct. Which he did presumably after they forced Michael Bay to wash his Ferrari because girlfriends be lookin’ out for their girls. Deadline reports:

Singer launched the X-Men feature franchise with the first two superb films and has been a guiding influence in this spinoff by writing the treatment and producing. Fox already has the script for X-Men: Days Of Future Past, and set to return is Fox’s First Class cast that includes Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy and Jennifer Lawrence. The studio hopes to make the July 18, 2014 release date it set for the sequel.

While this is great news for Bryan Singer and anyone who enjoyed the first two X-Men movies, now who’s going to knock up January Jones so I can make fun of her for keeping another baby she hates out of spite? It’s always the ButtFuck people* who suffer, always the ButtFuck people…

*I realize this term is confusing in the context of Bryan Singer, but maybe Christina Aguilera should’ve thought of that instead of what time HoneyBaked Ham opens. (8, but you have to get there early for the good spirals.)

Photo: Getty