Bruce Jenner Wants His Own Reality Show Now

Posted by Photo Boy

Charles Jenner                                                                                                               2:51 PM (0 minutes ago)
to bruce

Dear Bruce,

We wanted to have this talk with you face to face, but ultimately we decided we were more comfortable with an email. To be perfectly honest, your unpredictable mood swings of late have frightened your poor mother. It’s obvious to us that you’re blossoming into a lovely woman right before our eyes, and we know that you just had your heart broken by that terrible shark-eyed woman we’ll never understand why you chose for yourself, but look Bruce, your mother and I, we’re just worried. We’re worried that jumping into another one of these real tv thingies right away will only confuse you more. Remember the last one? With that lawyer’s awful daughters, especially the one with the swollen derriere, always complaining and looking into their fancy phones? And they way they would make their chubby little brother cry! That was downright terrible and don’t even get us started on our granddaughters. The last time Kendall came here with that…that rapper boy, she was barely clothed! Honestly Bruce, it’s a disgrace and we wish you’d reconsider.

You’re starting a new chapter, admittedly one your mother and I don’t fully understand, but we love you and we only want the best for our son. Or whatever it is you’re going by now, you know what I mean! Damnit, Martha, I told you this was a bad idea! You said don’t mention the business about cutting off his pecker and I didn’t, Jesus Christ I remember a time in this country when you just kept your head down and worked hard and you could make a good life for yourself, but NOOOO, now it’s “Dad, do you think mom still wants her pearls?” and WHAT, MARTHA?! WHAT? CAN’T I JUST VENT FOR A MINUTE, OF COURSE I’M NOT GOING TO HIT SEN–

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