Britney To Spawn Yet Again?

November 17th, 2005 // 16 Comments

britney_thumb_1.jpgTrailer park crotch-queen Britney Spears is preparing for another child (read: antichrist) after a psychic predicted she’ll fall pregnant again next year.

Britney reportedly always seeks the advice of a medium when she makes major plans for her future. A friend told In Touch magazine that Britney couldn’t resist asking if she’d have another child, and was told that she’d be pregnant again within six months.

Britney would have a much better idea of when she’d get pregnant if she read any fifth-grade biology textbook rather than rolling around in a giant tub of cheetos. People give K-Fed a hard time because he spends so much time away from her, but christ, if my wife’s idea of a good time was sitting around in a pool of grease, watching White Chicks and farting like a horse, I might get the hell out of there too.

Another Baby For Britney? [Contact Music]


  1. conceitedhipster

    Surely, the end is near.

  2. D-Bear

    There must be a way to save the world from this impending doom.

  3. ElFurbe

    I, for one, welcome our new Britney-spawn overlords and remind them that as a nobody blog commenter I would be an invalubale source for rounding up people to work in their underground cheeto caves.

  4. suzy

    Maybe she’s trying to get money for her baby photos this time around, unlike with her first child. Hehe…

  5. greasy horse-farts are HOT

  6. Zanathon

    You know what really concerns me? The fact that she has a few hundred thousand eggs, just waiting to be fertilized, in her pair of ovaries.

    If we were to convince Britney to visit the troops in Iraq, we could then expose and expunge the Weapons of Mass Destruction everybody was looking for.

    As soon as she starts to sing, “Hit Me Baby, One More Time,” more than a few soldiers will open fire on her and go home valiant heroes.

  7. Jivenut

    With these two breeding we can all rest easy knowing the world will be filled with people dripping with innate talent and unwavering decision making ability.

  8. Floyd

    I thought she’d kicked that waste-of-space Federline out? Who’s the daddy going to be this time?

    A quick visit to Timberlake?

  9. ska_talon

    Fat chicks are gross.

  10. elle

    haha trailer park crotch-queen.. so true, so true.

  11. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I just moved to Louisiana, and, it’s true, we do have a special kind of redneck here. Especially the ladies. They necks is awful awful red.

  12. The Scarlet Bitch

    Horse Farts, Genius :D.

  13. assholic

    comment # 11. why didn’t it struck to me as news though? oh yeah, coz i knew all along, that’s why.

  14. AmberDextrose

    Oh lovely, lovely Britney – breed on! It would be so awful if you just, like, stopped, leaving us nothn new to feed our car-crash gawing tiny minds on.

  15. becca11

    she is very self destructive. she must hate her self and not want to be happy

  16. I think I found some areas where you can put another picture of Britney … No, wait, it's an ad.

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