Britney Spears has reportedly been running free-of-charge hip-hop classes at the Malibu Academy of Dance. It’s not especially interesting news, I was just amused at the thought of Britney Spears teaching 7 to 12-year-olds the proper way to gyrate their hips and take off their tops. Although considering her recent size, the dance sessions would more likely consist of standing up, getting out of breath, and then sitting back down with a bag of Cheetos.
Britney Spears teaches dancing
April 7th, 2006 // 58 Comments
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Italian Stallion | April 7, 2006 at 12:31 pm
She should start with her husband…….
Blaze | April 7, 2006 at 12:39 pm
I’d take personal lessons!!
I LOVE HER!
Redeemer | April 7, 2006 at 12:40 pm
The only way I’d even consider attending is if the music was PopoZao on a loop.
dimestoredetective | April 7, 2006 at 12:40 pm
No one cares about this biatch anymoo.
Grphdesi23 | April 7, 2006 at 12:52 pm
I honestly believe that Britney doesn’t care about her career going down the drain….
Besides, does she think this is going to redeem her?
Hardly.
Mr. Fritz | April 7, 2006 at 12:54 pm
Has anyone seen her husband’s myspace file? I checked it out the other day and couldn’t believe how many minions he has. I guess some people will kiss the ass of a no talent ex backup dancer to get noticed. James Lipton was on Conan O’Brien last night and recited the douche bag’s newest “release”. I hope this site posts it soon, because it’s hilarious.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | April 7, 2006 at 12:57 pm
The only thing Britney should have the authority to teach is “How to Ruin Your Life” and perhaps “Reaching Your Peak at 18 – How to Age Ungracefully, the Louisiana Way”.
OhHowCynical | April 7, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Shouldn’t she be focusing on losing weight, getting her career back in focus and not being gross? I can only imagine the quality of interaction taking place w/the poor susceptible kids. –> “‘Kay, ready y’all?”
sometimesboy | April 7, 2006 at 12:59 pm
wait..i’m confused….this picture is obviously meant to be the picture of the rear of the birthing statue…easy mistake…
Kim | April 7, 2006 at 1:30 pm
That poor child. He looks like K-Fed! Bad enough he is the product of a douch bag, but he has to grow up to look like one too.
Lala | April 7, 2006 at 1:32 pm
Totally random observation, but how is it all spawn of K-Fed have these enormous cheeks? Cute kid, though.
LifeJunkie | April 7, 2006 at 1:45 pm
I think there’s something to be said if your kid has bags under his eyes at this age. He looks exhausted. Or hungover.
But he is cute.
Aimtrue | April 7, 2006 at 1:53 pm
I love that Little S.P Spears is in both pictures. Just imagine this kid in a few years something like this
Dude is Britney Spears your mom?
SP: Yeah. Cool huh?
Yeah,. I guess. Is this a pic of her twat with you bowling ball head popping out of it?
SP: Waaaaaaa popazao mommie. Waaaaaaa
wickedwomyn | April 7, 2006 at 1:55 pm
Okay, I am no fan of Britney, but come on. She is by no means “fat”. As those of us who are real people that have had children know, its not easy to loose that baby fat.
Also, I’m sure she has enough money to live the rest of days in luxury if she chooses to do so. Maybe her child is her priority right now.
Oh, and #7, the “peak” she reached at 18 is probably higher than you will ever go. Gee, I would have never thought I would be defending Britney Spears! Wonders never cease.
BarbadoSlim | April 7, 2006 at 2:11 pm
For the love of God, this woman shouldn’t be teaching anything to anyone. Any parent who allows his/her children near her should be shot on sight.
Oh how I long for the days of the Old Testament when whores were stoned and fire rained from the sky…. JEHOVA where art thou !!!
good times
Spindoc | April 7, 2006 at 2:20 pm
It would be HILARIOUS if she dumped Kevin for one of her students. She goes from marrying a backup dancer to marrying an ASPIRING backup-dancer. LOL!
M@ce | April 7, 2006 at 2:22 pm
wickedwomyn admit it…you were fat BEFORE you had a baby, during the pregnancy and will be for the remainder of your cholesterol choked days on this earth. It’s hard to lose it because it was thirty pounds on top of the eighty extra you were already carrying. Even if you lose the baby fat (which you won’t), you’re still freekin’ Jabba the Slut underneath. For the love of God, stop eating the Girl Scout cookies by the ‘sleeve’ and go for a walk.
Quit mashing your hooves on the keyboard making stupid comments and do a little cardio and no, speed-stuffing ho hos into your suck hole does not constitute cardio.
DuckBoy | April 7, 2006 at 2:40 pm
Okay, this needs to be said..
Do all of you haters realize that she isn’t trying to have a career right now? You keep saying her career is over, but when in the past 2 years has she TRIED to have a career? She wants time off, and when she’s ready to work again she’ll be back at the top. It’s not like she’s out there trying to be the princess of pop right now and no one cares. Actually it’s the complete opposite, she’s trying to do nothing but people still won’t leave her alone.
Her fragrances were the top selling perfumes in the country 2 years in a row, and the remix CD that Jive released (sans work from Britney) and didn’t publicize AT ALL whatsoever sold 15,000 copies in a weekend and has sold over 200,000 copies to date. Some artists main albums don’t even sell that much. Even when she’s on a break she does better than most celebrities.
She’s sold over 85 million albums to date. She’s is richer than any of us will ever dream to be. She makes money everyday from album sales, radio play, and other merchandise without ever lifting a finger.
When she wants a career again she’ll have one. And by the way, please stop calling her fat for the love of God. She is a normal looking 24 year-old. In fact she is probably smaller than an average girl her age. No, she doesn’t look like the Britney we’re used to seeing, but SHE ISN’T TRYING TO (let’s not mention the fact that she had a kid 8 months ago).
That is all.
Spindoc | April 7, 2006 at 2:49 pm
If she isn’t trying to have a career now then why is she putting the finishing touches on a new CD that is supposed to come out in the fall?
P.S. Tom Cruise? Yeah, he loves the cock.
BarbadoSlim | April 7, 2006 at 2:56 pm
Well I’m pretty sure that Britney, being the Nobel price chemist that she is, had everything to do with designing that “perfume”. I’m sure it had nothing to do with her tweeny demographic being willing to buy her trailer sewer liquified feces if it just head her name on it.
Face it, this fat bitch is done, stick a fork in her.
whackjob | April 7, 2006 at 2:57 pm
#14: the way to “loose” the baby fat is with a good diet, moderate amounts of physical exercise, and a healthy mind-set.
Failing that, about $7500 for surgery if you really need to go there.
Me, I like the little bit of baby fat that never goes away. I believe in real women, but each to their own.
Oh yeah, that Tom Cruise guy? He loves the cock.
gogoboots | April 7, 2006 at 3:08 pm
I am so tired of hearing about her love of cheetos (please pick on something else). I think it’s really nice of her to teach classes free of charge, but she really should do it in the inner city and not in Malibu where people can afford to pay for classes taught by has-been teen singers and the like…
Dr.Rokter | April 7, 2006 at 3:09 pm
#20 Well put.
“Free of charge hip-hop classes” in Malibu is funny all by itself.
As for “hating” Britney: I’m supposed to admire that silly piewagon because she makes tons of money doing nothing?
And, I don’t care if she’s giving taps lessons to special needs kids in a Sierra Leone amputee camp, she’s still a dumb hillbilly. ‘Twas always thus.
DuckBoy | April 7, 2006 at 3:12 pm
#19… ok Einstein, if she’s finishing (actually she’s starting) an album now, it won’t be out until later in the year
THUS, right now she isn’t trying to have a career. How could she perform songs off a new album that isn’t done yet? Furthermore, how could people buy an album that hasn’t been released yet?
I believe that when the album is done her sales and the reaction to her performances will determine whether or not her career is over.
you are I-G-N-O-R-A-N-T
MeganHarris | April 7, 2006 at 3:39 pm
Britney Spears Teaching Hip Hop Classes is like 3 Six Mafia teaching in a finishing school.
Zed | April 7, 2006 at 3:39 pm
Show me a picture of her looking fat, piggy, and with matted in-need-of-a-dye-job hair and ugly clothing, and I’ll agree with you wholeheartedly that she’s pretty awful. But she’s looking better than most people I know in the photo above. Not bad at all.
Of course it just might be that most of the people I know are fugly.
Zed | April 7, 2006 at 3:50 pm
Duckboy is Britney’s publicist. Pass it on.
Italian Stallion | April 7, 2006 at 4:00 pm
I thought Zed died when Bruce Willis took his chopper?
Duckboy and Britney, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love then comes marriage, then comes the statue….*pause*
I just threw up, someone finish the song for me please *throwing up again*…..
Spindoc | April 7, 2006 at 4:33 pm
#24, Duckboy.
If she is currently working on a CD, then she is “TRYING” to have a career. If the CD came out was a sucess and she was on the top of the charts…well then genius she would HAVE a career. Just because you are a fan of somebody you shouldn’t try to alter reality to make them seem infallible. That being said, I’ve been wondering, is Duckboy anything like Duckbutter? Because thats kinda nausiating.
St.Minutia | April 7, 2006 at 4:43 pm
Tom Cruise loves Howard the Duckboy’s tiny little cock.
EvilFiend | April 7, 2006 at 5:01 pm
i cant wait until one of her students get eaten by her boa constrictor
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | April 7, 2006 at 5:48 pm
#29 – Ha, ha… “duckbutter”. I haven’t heard that since… since I brought some strange dude home from the bar. Since last night then, I guess.
Wild Rose | April 7, 2006 at 6:36 pm
So Duckie, is it true? Is Brit running free-of-charge hip-hop classes in Malibu? If so, that’s pretty lame as anyone *living in Malibu* can afford to pay for them, as a number of posters have already pointed out. It’s not that far a drive to some needier neighborhoods in L.A., and the parents would probably be really appreciative. It would be something the kids would remember forever as well….
That said, S.P. is sooo cute!
mYslead | April 7, 2006 at 6:46 pm
she should teach “K-Fed” some dance moves.
jonweed | April 7, 2006 at 7:07 pm
#14: Most people who have had or are going to have children should know, that in a healthy pregnancy, if you are already withing a normal weight range, you should only be gaining about 5 pounds of actual fat. The rest is all water, baby, blood, boobs, and placenta. And if you are overweight, you should gain about 15-20 pounds in a pregnancy, which equals ZERO fat gain. So using having a baby as an excuse for being a heffer doesn’t cut it. In fact, I would hope women who have children stay slim so they can live a long and healthy life and have the energy to actually care for their children, not just sit on the couch watching TV and ignoring them. Regardless, I don’t understand why Britney Spears news still exists. She’s not trying to have a career, true. So why is there news about her? she’s not doing anything exciting… no scandal, no coke binges, nothing. So whats the big deal?
sirokai | April 7, 2006 at 7:42 pm
DuckBoy: We know who you are, K-Fed. After seeing your dancing you might as well be a real duck. Now get off this site.
ESQ | April 7, 2006 at 7:57 pm
S.P. is a cute kid, is he stoned or sleeping? OR turning out to be a professional hobo like his dad?
Oh yeah, that Tom Cruise guy? He loves the cock.
bunnyhugger | April 7, 2006 at 9:32 pm
gogoboots is right. enought with the cheetos! damn it, the girl wants her cheesy-poofs! or her quackers… that’s it!
duckboy IS k-tard, and she’s not teaching hip-hop classes.
she’s trying to get that giant duck egg out of her ass!
oh, and:
knock, knock
who’s there?
tom cruise.
tom cruise who?
tom cruise loves the cock.
next?
bunnyhugger | April 7, 2006 at 9:33 pm
gogoboots is right. enought with the cheetos! damn it, the girl wants her cheesy-poofs! or her quackers… that’s it!
duckboy IS k-tard, and she’s not teaching hip-hop classes.
she’s trying to get that giant duck egg out of her ass!
oh, and:
knock, knock
who’s there?
tom cruise.
tom cruise who?
tom cruise loves the cock.
next?
bunnyhugger | April 7, 2006 at 9:34 pm
gogoboots is right. enought with the cheetos! damn it, the girl wants her cheesy-poofs! or her quackers… that’s it!
duckboy IS k-tard, and she’s not teaching hip-hop classes.
she’s trying to get that giant duck egg out of her ass!
oh, and:
knock, knock
who’s there?
tom cruise.
tom cruise who?
tom cruise loves the cock.
next?
bunnyhugger | April 7, 2006 at 9:37 pm
fuckin’ multiple posts.
i beg your forgivness.
Trotter | April 7, 2006 at 10:23 pm
“Little Britney’s HoHo Finishing School for Prepubescent Girls”
What a franchise concept.
Trotter | April 7, 2006 at 10:32 pm
“Little Britney’s HoHo Finishing School for Prepubescent Girls”
What a franchise concept.
Trotter | April 7, 2006 at 10:33 pm
shit. sorry.
Pez_D_Spencer | April 7, 2006 at 10:43 pm
22: But if she taught in the inner-city, she’d have to mingle with, you know, commoners. For the most part, celebs just don’t do that, since they are, you know, better than us. Also, the inner-city in her case being downtown LA, there really isn’t much of a population to teach dance to.
dark | April 8, 2006 at 5:24 am
If you’re in inner city LA, I don’t think you need Britneys’s fat white ass teaching you how to hip-hop dance. Its like the Rolling 60 Crips taking shooting lessons from Barney Fife.
gogoboots | April 8, 2006 at 2:24 pm
How do either of you guys know this? Do you live in LA? Most kids (esp. pre-teen girls) would be excited for the chance to take dance lessons from Britney. I know I work with them now. However, I doubt she would do that because she is above “poor” people and probably would feel endangered.
derekd | April 8, 2006 at 4:16 pm
“Teaching hip-hop classes”? Whats next, wannabe-gangster 101 or white trash styles of the rich and ignorant? I bet her pussy smells like dick cheese.
heifferzzz | April 9, 2006 at 2:18 am
that baby is soooo cute!
Chuck | April 10, 2006 at 9:37 am
Damn how the mighty have fallen , down to teaching 7-12 year olds