Britney Spears shows up at Jenny McCarthy’s fundraiser

Britney Spears surprised guests by showing up to the Generation Rescue autism fundraiser thrown by Jenny McCarthy. Nobody knows how or why Britney was there. Until they remembered Jim Carrey sprang for a custom burrito bar. Of course! At that point, everyone quietly nodded as if to say “If I see vulva, I’m throwing elbows all the way to the fire exit.” Us Magazine reports:

As guests like McCarthy’s beau and Charlie Sheen and wife Brooke Mueller made the rounds, Spears, 26, sipped on red wine.
Carrey’s daughter Jane also belted out a few Frank Sinatra and Jackson 5 tunes.
Spears, 26, “definitely looked happy,” a witness tells “She was clapping and smiling a lot.”

What was Britney so happy about? Someone told her vaccinating your children is bad. Awesome! She doesn’t even know what a quack-sation is! Finally, her parenting skills were paying off. Then she realized she left Sean in the car with the keys – but didn’t leave a $20 for the Wendy’s drive-thru. Sonofabitch. “This is exactly why banks should let toddlers have debit cards,” she thought while stuffing burritos in her bra.