‘Oh my garsh. Jewelbry!’

Here’s Britney Spears performing her duties as Miss Mouth-Breather 2002-2009 while shopping in Beverly Hills yesterday. There’s also a rumor floating around she’s dating the bodyguard in these pics which is, of course, bullshit. Men don’t date Britney Spears as much as they get paid by her dad to pretend her vagina isn’t a cupholder for buckets of chicken. It’s a delicate dance.

EDIT: The saddest thing you will ever see in your life.

Photos: Fame