“‘Em boys ain’t even cookin’ mah chick’n right. Jayden! Light the grill with mama’s cigarettes. Cig. A. Rettes. Her special smoke candy. There ya go.”
Last week we found out that despite receiving $15 million and more importantly an entire dressing room converted into a redneck smorgasbord, Britney Spears walked off during the very first round of auditions for X Factor. Except it turns out that not only did she walk off again the next day, it’s in her contract that she can literally do whatever she wants whenever she wants. TMZ reports:
Fact is … “X Factor” wanted Britney so desperately, she was able to negotiate terms that are “unheard of” — so say people with direct knowledge of her deal. As one source put it, “Simon is a smart and shrewd businessman who knew Britney could make his show and he was willing to give her just about anything to come on board — and he did.”
So Britney is allowed to walk off any time she wants. And that’s just the beginning. Britney can do just about anything she wants … and get $15 million in the process.
So basically Simon Cowell was willing to piss away $15 million, plus a small fortune on potato salad, on the off-chance he could catch Britney Spears on camera forming a cohesive, potentially witty statement that doesn’t end with a burp? Wow, dude, we get it. You’re crazy rich and make crazy rich millionaire bets. Lighting your cigar with a flaming Ferrari then tossing it into a ditch would’ve got the same message across, but nooooo, Pecs Manboob IV has to be a dick about it.
Photos: Fame/Flynet
Man, she’s ugly.
What kind of fuckin’ loon walks in the street with nothing on her feet? I guess it’s too much to hope for a “Final Destination” bus that comes out of nowhere.
I do it all the time and I’m not a “loon”. Shoes are very uncomfortable/painful for me, so I rarely wear them. What’s so weird about not wearing shoes? If we needed shoes, we’d be born with them on our feet.
“Hello hookworms! Get in my feet!”
I’ve never had hookworms….
heheh That’s good! :)
I was just quoting Archer. Any excuse to do that.
Yeah, I don’t go to work (outdoors) without shoes. But I do sit on the steps, hang out in the yard, and throw out the trash without shoes on.
Eh, there are worse germs out there.
“See there yung un, that there’s just a crane lowering a moo cow into a nice vegetable oil bath to crisp up to a nice golden brown. You know she’s ready when the mozereller cheese they injected her with starts bubbling through her hide. Now come over here and I’ll show ya how to make a keg of gravy”.
That is so nasty but so funny. Bravo, bravo.
My mom used to say, “you can’t buy class”.
Well clearly my mom was a fucking idiot!
You still can’t buy class but you can buy everything else.
America is so fucked. These are the people who should be taxed out the ass; not the middle class.
She looks like she smells bad…
britney is a very wholesome young woman. she has never even posed for topless photos or nude photos. i want to see her pose topless where her nipples are hard and she’s pulling on them until her pussy fuckin squirts and you see her pussy juice dripping down her leg.
Jeezus, that was unnecessary…
Which part? The squirting pussy or saying that she is wholesome?
I’m going with wholesome
I heard it squirts KFC gravy.
That might be awkward if she runs into Jessica Simpson.
The wholesome part was unnecessary.
Wholesome????? *wipes chunks off keyboard*
The only thing I found offensive was the idea that because someone has never posed topless that makes them wholesome. People need to get over their childish fear of nudity.
It’s not that she looks bad, I’ll admit she looks good for having 2 kids and a tummy tuck. She just looks like she needs a good scrub down. With sandpaper.
Wire brush and Dettol
Sandblaster and napalm.
Nice ass Vince Neil!
When I see a woman like this my first thought is, “I got weed” will get me laid.
UGH!! Why is she always so dirty looking? With all her money she should have people scrub her with Ajax before leaving the house…so skeevy looking!
Yep, yesterday’s eye makeup again.
Defining quintessential American beauty since 1992…ugh! The opposing pox marks on either side of her mouth, tooth-gnawed fingernails, horrible dark roots under a bad dye job, random, meaningless tattoos galore, heavily-applied mascara, and chubby gut scream I am Brittany, Queen of The White Trash Clan…hear me belch! What a fuckin’ ditch pig!
Oh, how could i forget the senseless belly ring and jorts! Jesus…
How superficial of you!
OMG…she is filthy..I am never watching X-Factor again I may get herpes from just watching her. What woman goes out looking that dirty?
If that ain’t the face of a cackling psychopath, I don’t know what is!
You know…. Her voice sounds a lot like Miley Cyrus.
Even Vince looks better!
30 going on 55
I think $15 million is OBSCENE for the “job” she was hired to do. Come off it. Fifteen million to judge “talent” ??? Gross.
Like she has any business judging anything except the “Trailer Park Cook-off”
It’s human nature to slow down to look at a train wreck. But to try and harness this fact and point cameras at it for a TV show — Simon Cowell deserves what he gets.
X Factor has no fucking credibility.
Britney “Trail park auto-tune queen” Spears and Demi “no hit wonder coke head ” Lovato. Really?
The show would have been better off if Simon just judged the fucking show by himself.
Obviously they haven’t discovered that the secret is to leave enough Oxycontin in her dressing room to make sure she is *unable* to walk off.
Demi and Britney are not about credibility…its about ratings.
I still think Demz will in the end be a better judge than Brit. I do suspect that Demi’s camp went out of their way to get this gig.Her summer tour schedule was build around the xfactor dates.
Simon hired these two for ratings, last season SUCKED, this show is just one in a glut of talent shows on tv. When we have a glut one or two shows are going to end up getting the axe.
Sooner or alter and he needs to get two judges that will create drama people will talk about. So far they are.
Who watches Monster Truck Jams, Nascar and X-Factor? Hint: same genre. Who lives to witness train wrecks? Simon Cowell is a damn genius. Absolute corner on the trash viewer market.
There she goes with the finger.
Cowell knows that the resultant press means he’s effectively cashing in on, and personally broadcasting the Britney train wreck..= ratings. In that sense it’s not a gamble.
just like a scooter
fun to ride but.,,,,
Shes funky and she know it.
She looks like a fat Helen hunt.
Ha! Good bit of Cockney rhyming slang that :)
DAT ASS.
your flies are undone
gross, trashy, and lookin old. she needs to go to the gym and start taking care of herself. is she pregnant again??
linebacker
Retard power!
Quij, I knew I had heard your name before but I couldn’t place it, so I googled it and now I can’t stop laughing. Ow. xD
There is not one thing attractive about this being.
It was all just a plan
Nothing is fun and eye catching without conflicts
Have a star walk out on ur show, BAM, HEADLINES EVERYWHERE
Damn her body went to shit really quickly. And to think just a few years ago we were all spanking in to Britney and Christina. Thank the god that doesn’t exist the internet is a time capsule and we can always find pictures from back when they were sexy.
what a fucking mess she is.
LET ME TELL YA SUMTHIN’!!!!
God, where do I start
‘Bertney’ is very funny. Totally suits her.
But I can’t help but think that if she just degreases herself, hits the elliptical hard, and fucking puts on clothes that fit… she may have a chance.
As if she had had a choice whether to be on X Factor or not! It’s those two leeches feeding off of her who made the decision. Just give her a break instead of slagging her off. Really, she’s simply a cash-cow for them. And they’ll keep on feeding her happy pills to keep her pliabe as long as there are enough assholes willing to pay for her “performance” as a trained monkey.
she kinda grosses me nowadays, but damn, that ass is always so fiiiiiiiiiiine!!! I’d totally hit it.
Wow, not aging well AT ALL.
Ok, the outfit is ridiculous but she looks sincerely and naturally happy and we havent seen that in a long time! She seems so much happier in her home state, I wonder why she hasn’t move back?
Oh j/k I thought that said Kentwood.
where’s… where’s her tits??
Kids sucked her dry. She never had much of anything happening upstairs, just water bras, chicken cutlets, push ups and makeup to make her look endowed. She went from a B- to a AAAAAA
How does this face get made up to look like the singer? I don’t get it? There is no amount of paint that can fix that crack whore’s face. How do they do it? Tons of makeup? Lighting? Perhaps facial, under chin and neck liposuction before each show/concert? Someone help out here, there’s no way someone this fugly can look remotely as attractive as the Britney Spears singer! Google B.S. +FAT & see what I mean!
hot as hell!
I think she’s great — is not and never has been white trash. She’s a normal girl coping with an abnormal life, and you punks should lay off.