Bertney Can Do Whateva She Wants On TV, Y’all

May 29th, 2012 // 73 Comments
Bertney Walks Off X Factor
Britney Spears X Factor
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“‘Em boys ain’t even cookin’ mah chick’n right. Jayden! Light the grill with mama’s cigarettes. Cig. A. Rettes. Her special smoke candy. There ya go.”

Last week we found out that despite receiving $15 million and more importantly an entire dressing room converted into a redneck smorgasbord, Britney Spears walked off during the very first round of auditions for X Factor. Except it turns out that not only did she walk off again the next day, it’s in her contract that she can literally do whatever she wants whenever she wants. TMZ reports:

Fact is … “X Factor” wanted Britney so desperately, she was able to negotiate terms that are “unheard of” — so say people with direct knowledge of her deal. As one source put it, “Simon is a smart and shrewd businessman who knew Britney could make his show and he was willing to give her just about anything to come on board — and he did.”
So Britney is allowed to walk off any time she wants. And that’s just the beginning. Britney can do just about anything she wants … and get $15 million in the process.

So basically Simon Cowell was willing to piss away $15 million, plus a small fortune on potato salad, on the off-chance he could catch Britney Spears on camera forming a cohesive, potentially witty statement that doesn’t end with a burp? Wow, dude, we get it. You’re crazy rich and make crazy rich millionaire bets. Lighting your cigar with a flaming Ferrari then tossing it into a ditch would’ve got the same message across, but nooooo, Pecs Manboob IV has to be a dick about it.

Photos: Fame/Flynet

superficial

  1. Crispy Anus

    Man, she’s ugly.

  2. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    What kind of fuckin’ loon walks in the street with nothing on her feet? I guess it’s too much to hope for a “Final Destination” bus that comes out of nowhere.

    • Mushroom

      I do it all the time and I’m not a “loon”. Shoes are very uncomfortable/painful for me, so I rarely wear them. What’s so weird about not wearing shoes? If we needed shoes, we’d be born with them on our feet.

    • Blech

      Yeah, I don’t go to work (outdoors) without shoes. But I do sit on the steps, hang out in the yard, and throw out the trash without shoes on.

      Eh, there are worse germs out there.

  3. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    “See there yung un, that there’s just a crane lowering a moo cow into a nice vegetable oil bath to crisp up to a nice golden brown. You know she’s ready when the mozereller cheese they injected her with starts bubbling through her hide. Now come over here and I’ll show ya how to make a keg of gravy”.

  4. My mom used to say, “you can’t buy class”.

    Well clearly my mom was a fucking idiot!

  5. America is so fucked. These are the people who should be taxed out the ass; not the middle class.

  6. She looks like she smells bad…

  7. OREO AREOLA

    britney is a very wholesome young woman. she has never even posed for topless photos or nude photos. i want to see her pose topless where her nipples are hard and she’s pulling on them until her pussy fuckin squirts and you see her pussy juice dripping down her leg.

  8. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    doni
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not that she looks bad, I’ll admit she looks good for having 2 kids and a tummy tuck. She just looks like she needs a good scrub down. With sandpaper.

  9. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Skip Ridiculous
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice ass Vince Neil!

  10. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    When I see a woman like this my first thought is, “I got weed” will get me laid.

  11. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Me
    Commented on this photo:

    UGH!! Why is she always so dirty looking? With all her money she should have people scrub her with Ajax before leaving the house…so skeevy looking!

  12. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Defining quintessential American beauty since 1992…ugh! The opposing pox marks on either side of her mouth, tooth-gnawed fingernails, horrible dark roots under a bad dye job, random, meaningless tattoos galore, heavily-applied mascara, and chubby gut scream I am Brittany, Queen of The White Trash Clan…hear me belch! What a fuckin’ ditch pig!

  13. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Me
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG…she is filthy..I am never watching X-Factor again I may get herpes from just watching her. What woman goes out looking that dirty?

  14. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    If that ain’t the face of a cackling psychopath, I don’t know what is!

  15. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    You know…. Her voice sounds a lot like Miley Cyrus.

  16. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Boo
    Commented on this photo:

    Even Vince looks better!

  17. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Splat
    Commented on this photo:

    30 going on 55

  18. Jack Ketch

    I think $15 million is OBSCENE for the “job” she was hired to do. Come off it. Fifteen million to judge “talent” ??? Gross.

  19. It’s human nature to slow down to look at a train wreck. But to try and harness this fact and point cameras at it for a TV show — Simon Cowell deserves what he gets.

  20. El Jefe

    X Factor has no fucking credibility.

    Britney “Trail park auto-tune queen” Spears and Demi “no hit wonder coke head ” Lovato. Really?

    The show would have been better off if Simon just judged the fucking show by himself.

  21. EricLr

    Obviously they haven’t discovered that the secret is to leave enough Oxycontin in her dressing room to make sure she is *unable* to walk off.

  22. Demi and Britney are not about credibility…its about ratings.

    I still think Demz will in the end be a better judge than Brit. I do suspect that Demi’s camp went out of their way to get this gig.Her summer tour schedule was build around the xfactor dates.

    Simon hired these two for ratings, last season SUCKED, this show is just one in a glut of talent shows on tv. When we have a glut one or two shows are going to end up getting the axe.

    Sooner or alter and he needs to get two judges that will create drama people will talk about. So far they are.

  23. Alex

    Who watches Monster Truck Jams, Nascar and X-Factor? Hint: same genre. Who lives to witness train wrecks? Simon Cowell is a damn genius. Absolute corner on the trash viewer market.

  24. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    There she goes with the finger.

  25. Cowell knows that the resultant press means he’s effectively cashing in on, and personally broadcasting the Britney train wreck..= ratings. In that sense it’s not a gamble.

  26. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    momo
    Commented on this photo:

    just like a scooter
    fun to ride but.,,,,

  27. YTBOY

    Shes funky and she know it.

  28. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    asdasd
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a fat Helen hunt.

  29. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Racer X
    Commented on this photo:

    DAT ASS.

  30. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Mr.Brightwell
    Commented on this photo:

    your flies are undone

  31. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    gross, trashy, and lookin old. she needs to go to the gym and start taking care of herself. is she pregnant again??

  32. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    linebacker

  33. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Quijibo
    Commented on this photo:

    Retard power!

    • CranAppleSnapple

      Quij, I knew I had heard your name before but I couldn’t place it, so I googled it and now I can’t stop laughing. Ow. xD

  34. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    There is not one thing attractive about this being.

  35. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Chupois
    Commented on this photo:

    It was all just a plan
    Nothing is fun and eye catching without conflicts
    Have a star walk out on ur show, BAM, HEADLINES EVERYWHERE

  36. Damn her body went to shit really quickly. And to think just a few years ago we were all spanking in to Britney and Christina. Thank the god that doesn’t exist the internet is a time capsule and we can always find pictures from back when they were sexy.

  37. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Clarence Beeks
    Commented on this photo:

    what a fucking mess she is.

  38. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Trailer Park Ninja
    Commented on this photo:

    LET ME TELL YA SUMTHIN’!!!!

  39. EW

    God, where do I start

  40. Blech

    ‘Bertney’ is very funny. Totally suits her.

    But I can’t help but think that if she just degreases herself, hits the elliptical hard, and fucking puts on clothes that fit… she may have a chance.

  41. DusktillDawn

    As if she had had a choice whether to be on X Factor or not! It’s those two leeches feeding off of her who made the decision. Just give her a break instead of slagging her off. Really, she’s simply a cash-cow for them. And they’ll keep on feeding her happy pills to keep her pliabe as long as there are enough assholes willing to pay for her “performance” as a trained monkey.

  42. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    sycho
    Commented on this photo:

    she kinda grosses me nowadays, but damn, that ass is always so fiiiiiiiiiiine!!! I’d totally hit it.

  43. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Meh
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, not aging well AT ALL.

  44. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, the outfit is ridiculous but she looks sincerely and naturally happy and we havent seen that in a long time! She seems so much happier in her home state, I wonder why she hasn’t move back?

  45. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh j/k I thought that said Kentwood.

  46. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Bobinator
    Commented on this photo:

    where’s… where’s her tits??

    • Visible

      Kids sucked her dry. She never had much of anything happening upstairs, just water bras, chicken cutlets, push ups and makeup to make her look endowed. She went from a B- to a AAAAAA

  47. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    Visible
    Commented on this photo:

    How does this face get made up to look like the singer? I don’t get it? There is no amount of paint that can fix that crack whore’s face. How do they do it? Tons of makeup? Lighting? Perhaps facial, under chin and neck liposuction before each show/concert? Someone help out here, there’s no way someone this fugly can look remotely as attractive as the Britney Spears singer! Google B.S. +FAT & see what I mean!

  48. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    ana
    Commented on this photo:

    hot as hell!

  49. Britney Spears Midriff Tattoos Barefoot Jean Shorts
    jaime
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s great — is not and never has been white trash. She’s a normal girl coping with an abnormal life, and you punks should lay off.

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