January 15th, 2013 // 13 Comments
'I Quit, Y'All'
Britney Spears X Factor
Britney Quits 'X-Factor' Before Simon Can Fire Her Read More »

Thanks to the Golden Globes, I didn’t get a chance to cover Britney Spears being tossed back into the dating pool after she quit X-Factor, exactly as predicted, so here she is on a coffee run yesterday where her sweatshirt let the world know she’s ready for love. And by love I mean someone willing to impregnate the mentally handicapped and watch her repeatedly almost murder a new batch of babies. TMZ reports:

Britney, who is 31, loves her boys and desperately wants more kids. Jason, who is 41, is “in another place” and does not want to start a family — although he loves Sean Preston and Jayden James. We’re told the former couple argued frequently about family and this ultimately proved their undoing.

Of course, there’s nothing to worry about because everyone knows Jamie Spears secretly hung Britney’s uterus in a smokehouse next to Adnan Ghalib‘s severed head. Not to mention, no daddy worth his weight in fritters would let his little girl get pregnant when there are still stages for her to jiggle on for money dollahs. Granted, peg’nant strippers are a southern delicacy, the Spears family is dignified now. Sophistermercated and the such.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News


  1. unshowered britney needs a good ass eating…i’ll do it.

  2. Deacon Jones

    fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra

  3. Nonny Moose

    I know you’re not supposed to stick it in teh crazy, but she’s still one awesomely hawt little MILF. If she wants more kids, I’ll happily volunteer my services as sperm donor.

  4. Why is she wearing Danny Glover’s jacket? I’m assuming that her arms are hiding a “G” and an “R”.

  5. Schmidtler

    “someone willing to impregnate the mentally handicapped and watch her repeatedly almost murder a new batch of babies”

    She’s still not broke yet, so yeah, I’m in!

  6. Hey, Brit, pull that hoody zipper down eight or ten inches and you should get a few offers.

  7. JC

    Wookin’ pa nub, in all da wrong Starbucks, wookin’ pa nub…

  8. She is not hot. She fell off a long time ago.

  9. Britney Spears Love Sweatshirt Holding Coffee
    Commented on this photo:

    Well if this call-out doesn’t work out she can always moonlight as a hooker during her new “Vehas hasbeen” gig.

  10. Kim

    Britney looks really, really cute!!! I’m happy for her that she dumped what’s-his-face. She can do a lot better than some old, immature, metro sexual agent who won’t want kids until he’s 50 when he realizes that his entire live has been irrelevant. Stupid man!!! She’s so beautiful and would make a great professional’s wife. I hope she finds a nice guy that isn’t in the Hollywood BS bizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

  11. Kim

    Believe me…she’s no has been. They even play her music in Islamic countries.

  12. Britney Spears Love Sweatshirt Holding Coffee
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks kinda normal in these pics. the most normal Ive seen her for a while

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