The Superficial / January 15, 2013

Thanks to the Golden Globes, I didn’t get a chance to cover Britney Spears being tossed back into the dating pool after she quit X-Factor, exactly as predicted, so here she is on a coffee run yesterday where her sweatshirt let the world know she’s ready for love. And by love I mean someone willing to impregnate the mentally handicapped and watch her repeatedly almost murder a new batch of babies. TMZ reports:

Britney, who is 31, loves her boys and desperately wants more kids. Jason, who is 41, is “in another place” and does not want to start a family — although he loves Sean Preston and Jayden James. We’re told the former couple argued frequently about family and this ultimately proved their undoing.

Of course, there’s nothing to worry about because everyone knows Jamie Spears secretly hung Britney’s uterus in a smokehouse next to Adnan Ghalib’s severed head. Not to mention, no daddy worth his weight in fritters would let his little girl get pregnant when there are still stages for her to jiggle on for money dollahs. Granted, peg’nant strippers are a southern delicacy, the Spears family is dignified now. Sophistermercated and the such.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News