Britney Spears Sexually Harassed a Man for Soda

“Did someone say ‘sodey pop’? *vagina diddle*

Britney Spears’ former bodyguard Fernando Flores is officially filing a lawsuit today alleging the Legally Retarded One sexually harassed him numerous times during his employment. Although, in my opinion, this is clearly a cut-and-dry case of making sure he remembers what kind of soda she likes. TMZ reports:

Flores alleges, on one occasion — in a scene right out of “Legally Blonde” — “She was wearing a white lace, see-through dress. She walked over close by [Flores], intentionally dropped her cigarette lighter on the floor, bent over to retrieve it and thereby exposed her uncovered genitals to [Flores].” The lawsuit goes on, “The incident caused [Flores] shock and disgust.”
The suit then goes on to describe another alleged instance where Britney summoned Flores to her room, where she was standing naked. The suit claims, “After an awkward silence during which [Britney] just stood naked before [Flores], [Flores] asked Spears if she needed anything. After some hesitation, Spears asked [Flores] to get her two bottles of 7 Up.”

So Britney Spears walks around the house showing strangers her genitals until they submit to her needs for sugar water? Wow. Tell us something we haven’t known for at least half of the decade. Anyway, the suit also alleges Britney abused her children by forcing them to eat foods they’re allergic to then threatening to expose her vagina (Implied.) if anyone calls an ambulance:

On another occasion Britney fed both kids crabmeat even though she knew they had serious fish allergies. The suit claims both kids started vomiting and Spears allegedly prevented anyone from seeking medical help, allegedly telling them, “Mind your own f**king business!”

Granted, child services has already investigated the abuse claims and found them to lack merit, I’m going to go ahead and believe that crab thing anyway because it’s Britney Spears and she probably has access to a television that plays a lot of Spongebob.

BRITNEY: Haha! Squidward gots all them crabs in his mouf. *looks at Sean*
SEAN: Goddammit.

Photos: Splash News