Britney Spears Sexually Harassed a Man for Soda

September 8th, 2010 // 60 Comments

“Did someone say ‘sodey pop’? *vagina diddle*

Britney Spears‘ former bodyguard Fernando Flores is officially filing a lawsuit today alleging the Legally Retarded One sexually harassed him numerous times during his employment. Although, in my opinion, this is clearly a cut-and-dry case of making sure he remembers what kind of soda she likes. TMZ reports:

Flores alleges, on one occasion — in a scene right out of “Legally Blonde” — “She was wearing a white lace, see-through dress. She walked over close by [Flores], intentionally dropped her cigarette lighter on the floor, bent over to retrieve it and thereby exposed her uncovered genitals to [Flores].” The lawsuit goes on, “The incident caused [Flores] shock and disgust.”
The suit then goes on to describe another alleged instance where Britney summoned Flores to her room, where she was standing naked. The suit claims, “After an awkward silence during which [Britney] just stood naked before [Flores], [Flores] asked Spears if she needed anything. After some hesitation, Spears asked [Flores] to get her two bottles of 7 Up.”

So Britney Spears walks around the house showing strangers her genitals until they submit to her needs for sugar water? Wow. Tell us something we haven’t known for at least half of the decade. Anyway, the suit also alleges Britney abused her children by forcing them to eat foods they’re allergic to then threatening to expose her vagina (Implied.) if anyone calls an ambulance:

On another occasion Britney fed both kids crabmeat even though she knew they had serious fish allergies. The suit claims both kids started vomiting and Spears allegedly prevented anyone from seeking medical help, allegedly telling them, “Mind your own f**king business!”

Granted, child services has already investigated the abuse claims and found them to lack merit, I’m going to go ahead and believe that crab thing anyway because it’s Britney Spears and she probably has access to a television that plays a lot of Spongebob.

BRITNEY: Haha! Squidward gots all them crabs in his mouf. *looks at Sean*
SEAN: Goddammit.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Benwa

    fiiirrrssst beeatches.
    Britney’s yesterday’s news anyway!

  2. McFeely Smackup

    Don’t care. We’ve moved on from Brittney.

    • speak for yourself, i’d pluck her asshole hairs with my teeth…

      • Richard McBeef, MD-MPH

        asshole hairs are a common vector for gastrointestinal and sexually transmitted infections. I strongly suggest that you use an antiseptic wash on Britney’s perineal and anal area prior to attempting a dipilation of her asshole using teeth.

      • say wut

        my name is common sense, and I approve this message.

        Well played, Richard. Still laughing.

      • Richard McBeef, MD-MPH

        pimp and I have an ongoing discourse on the benefits vs. the health risks associated with acts falling in the analingus spectra.

  3. Randal(l)

    Fuck it, I’m going for the cheap shot: she wanted two bottles of 7-up her snootch….god I feel cheap

  4. WTF is wrong with that? I would give her a soda to get a look at the goodies.. I would buy her a Starbucks for a blow job

  5. Quantrill

    Seeing her spooter is abuse!

  6. MAveRiCknewyork

    That guy is a fucking liar. Say what you want but any man, straight or gay wouldn’t even blink at the chance to stick it in the the Big Easy ATM… and ATM her.

  7. bribios

    Remember back when seeing Britneys genitals wouldn’t have cause “shock and disgust”? The new millennium seemed so promising.

  8. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:


  9. kurgen99

    Geez, how hard is it to bang her? This guy must be gay.

    • JB

      Meeen!!! Given the tiniest chance i’d bang the biatch senseless i culd bet u til i die{literally} let alone lick her sphincter inside her guts meeen!!! WTF men

  10. horn dog

    Right on. So she showed him the goods…big effing deal. This guy needs to be charged for court costs and beaten to a pulp for filing such a bullshit lawsuit! And for being such a flamer if this is true!

  11. corey tayor

    I would love if she raped me,
    if she kidnap me, gag me, put tape over my mouth, bound me and chain me

    take me to her dungeon and rape me, over and over and over,

  12. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    so hot with the extra curves…

    but what’s up with the attire? is that a maternity shirt?

  13. Amy

    Oh noes! It must be TERRIBLE to have been sexually groped by Britney Spears. I’m sure he can barely sleep a night.

    • Anon

      Do you tell that to a woman in a similar situation or is this a typical female double standard?

    • JB

      C’mon lets face it Amy… clearly the dude is gay coz i would love 2 b’live anything that walks wuld wanna get gross with her actually i wuld love:-P it if she raped & abused me over & over & over again…

  14. I think I speak for plenty here who would gladly bang that or at least enjoy looking at it if nothing else but to keep it professional. There’s been worse during a drought we don’t admit to friends about banging but still did it. It’s safe to say this guy is a flaming light in the loafers sac sniffer.

  15. I’m just counting down the days til her sex tape surfaces. That ass is fuckin hot !

  16. shock and disgust, fur rlz? what a fuckin flamer. im with the consensus here, id bang her and bring her starbucks in bed. it aint sexual harassment when a chick does it, it’s endearing. enchanting even.

  17. Fishstix

    If he had been Rosie O’Donnell’s body guard and these events to place, he would have reason to complain


    Wash the brain..wash the brain…wash the brain…

  18. Mike Hawk

    Fernando Flores? Really?…

    Yea, he smokes pole…probably illegally.

    Fucking homo.

  19. Britney Spears
    elmer the fudd
    Commented on this photo:

    When she used to bend over in front of me, I broke her down like a double barreled shotgun, gave her a full load in both barrels. Yes, I am from Louisiana

  20. Greg

    Is it even scientifically possible for a woman to sexually harass a man? I mean, we’ll pretty much do it with anything, especially if that anything is filthy rich.

    • Amy

      Exactly. It made me laugh, but it’s so true. Whereas with women, if you’re ugly, you can’t harass. BUT if you stalk and look like Robert Pattinson (or are filthy rich), you get a pass. Why can’t any of my stalkers be hot?

      • Anon

        Amy ignoring the guys comments on here being nothing more than bravado it is possible.
        I suggest getting away from the internet. Putting the tv remote down and actually spending time with men. Maybe you’ll learn something beyond gender stereotyping.

        Also if you do that dont act like Britney. You’re not hot or famous or rich enough to avoid at least getting laughed at.

        Now if it was natalie Portman…

      • not cool

        Because you are not attractive, perhaps?

      • JB

        Amy, if u r a lady; i’m here, i’m black, ain’t rich but i’m touchnot… Uuuuh coz i’m Hooot!!! I would love sometime witchu???

      • Terk

        Amy that made no fucking sense.

  21. say wut

    The lawsuit’s transcript was redacted. In reality, when she stood nude before Flores, she asked for “Two bottles of Seagram’s 7 Up My Ass”.

  22. Britney Spears
    The Ejaculator
    Commented on this photo:

    And instead of saying “hell yeah!” he goes running to the press?


  23. Anon

    not that i believe it but if she did then she deserves to be charged. Way to be a good female role model for her boys. Good thing she only sees them two days a week.

  24. shavederic

    What a fucking pole smoker. Even at her drunken sloppiness, this was still a chick worth banging.

  25. LEGO

    She is evolving into a lego man…….she used to be such a babe -.- shame

  26. I agree with Fernando. It sounds like the guy just wants to do his job and go home. And maybe he doesn’t want to get involved with a divorced woman with mental problems and 2 kids.

    For all we know, Britney could be taking medication where increase sexual appetite could be a possible side effect. Ya never know.

  27. Vito

    “The incident caused [Flores] shock and disgust.”

    Ewwwww…she showed me her hoohah and her dirty pillows. Yucky!

    Unless it’s code for “made his dick hard.”

  28. Weird Al

    Mmm….a white lace dress.

    Ok, maybe he just wants to go home. But why sue her? Oh yeah, money.

    Thin….fit…..relatively pretty……filthy… in filthy rich.

    Seems like something too minor to get worked up about.

    • JB

      Oh mayb he fucked her then realised he’d picked up some fungal infections on his dick… So its kinda way of revenge, but WTF men!!!

  29. bluekoby

    she seems like the kind of girl that has to have a meeting with the teachers to past the 4th grade.

    i believe everything is true… and she doesn’t deserve to be a mom. motherhood is a privilege. I hope that happens cause shes a hoe. I know because of her fame… shes gonna have fans… that protect her and money! She herself should not be a Parent or on T.v. ( I bet you couldn’t even take her kids to fast food with out seeing the problem situation happen.)

    i mean trashy parents are the people i want to yell at in public.

  30. JB

    All said n’ done, just 4 the record… Britt is hot men!!!

  31. captain america

    ofcourse, WHO WOULDN’T DO THAT?

  32. Bored with life

    It’s not like she made him get on the ground and bark like a dog while she fisted his ass…..or did she???

  33. sexylips

    I feel sorry for the guy. Having to see fat brittany, would leave him with some nasty flashbacks that make gulf war syndrome look like a joke. He deserves compensation, NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO ENDURE THAT. Trailer trash ho.

  34. Nike

    Wash the brain I agree with u.

  35. Alejandro

    Damn she’s buff… she reminds me of my friend Aly who’s a football player….

  36. Sean

    So, this Fernando guy lives the dream of every red-blooded heterosexual man on Earth during the last decade, and instead of just being glad he had the experience, drags it into court and complains about it. I agree with most of the guys on here. I don’t like to make assumptions about anyone’s sexual preference, but if this man described a naked Britney Spears with the words “shock and disgust” he’s got to be a homosexual.



  38. RatMan

    She didn’t want 7-UP, she wanted 7 INCHES UP, and he didn’t MEASURE UP! That’s why he is mad.

  39. Imma Ferrari

    Thanks, Flores, for fucking it up for everyone. Now rich, cock hungry celebutards are going to think twice before dangling their junk in front of the rest of us. And Britney was my last hope for getting laid. WTG

  40. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    holy smokes. i just noticed the fupa in pic 1 (top of her shorts)…unless that’s just a “pants tent” effect, maybe she IS preggers again…

  41. JB

    Everyone moved on???

  42. Terk

    You dont puke if you’re allergic to fish, you break out in hives and your throat closes up but you do not throw up. Lies.

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