Britney Spears’ Fiance Is Now Her Conservator Because That’s Not At All Messed Up


Back in January, Britney Spears’s dad was rumored to be ending her conservatorship as a wedding gift which seemed like the best possible way to make this whole situation not look like he literally sold her to Jason Trawick. Except we’re talking about a family who has no moral qualms about shoving a retarded woman into a bikini and profiting off her jiggling, so of course, this situation just went the complete opposite direction and now I’m almost positive there’s a folded up receipt in Jason Trawick’s wallet that reads “1 Jiggling Mongoloid W/ Working Vagina.” People reports:

Jamie Spears is asking a court to add Jason Trawick as a co-conservator over his pop star daughter, a source confirms to PEOPLE.
Trawick will only have shared legal control over Spears’s general well being – not her finances, according to the source. In general, a conservator can make decisions over a person’s food, clothing and medical care. But Spears has plenty of personal freedom and the conservatorship is just a formality, another source previously told PEOPLE.

JAMIE: You’re in charge of feeding her now.
JASON: Oh, come on.
JAMIE: What? You think you can just come in here, help me make millions of dollars shoving her out onstage and expect me to just let you fornicate with her at will in the stables after we tranq’d her up good?
JASON: No, sir…
JAMIE: That’s what I thought. Now we have a credit line at McDonald’s, but they get downright ornery if she goes overboard on the nugget sauce…

Photos: Splash News