Britney Spears’ Fiance Is Now Her Conservator Because That’s Not At All Messed Up

April 9th, 2012 // 28 Comments
A Happy Meal Is Just As Nice
Britney Spears
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“I SEWED IT ALL BY MAHSELF!”

Back in January, Britney Spears‘s dad was rumored to be ending her conservatorship as a wedding gift which seemed like the best possible way to make this whole situation not look like he literally sold her to Jason Trawick. Except we’re talking about a family who has no moral qualms about shoving a retarded woman into a bikini and profiting off her jiggling, so of course, this situation just went the complete opposite direction and now I’m almost positive there’s a folded up receipt in Jason Trawick’s wallet that reads “1 Jiggling Mongoloid W/ Working Vagina.” People reports:

Jamie Spears is asking a court to add Jason Trawick as a co-conservator over his pop star daughter, a source confirms to PEOPLE.
Trawick will only have shared legal control over Spears’s general well being – not her finances, according to the source. In general, a conservator can make decisions over a person’s food, clothing and medical care. But Spears has plenty of personal freedom and the conservatorship is just a formality, another source previously told PEOPLE.

JAMIE: You’re in charge of feeding her now.
JASON: Oh, come on.
JAMIE: What? You think you can just come in here, help me make millions of dollars shoving her out onstage and expect me to just let you fornicate with her at will in the stables after we tranq’d her up good?
JASON: No, sir…
JAMIE: That’s what I thought. Now we have a credit line at McDonald’s, but they get downright ornery if she goes overboard on the nugget sauce…

Photos: Splash News

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  1. it had to be said

    If you are planning to marry Brtiney Spears, you need to make sure that you have your hand on the checkbook. Smart man.

  2. Adrienne

    Whitney Houston-style ending in 4…3…2….

  3. Hello

    I don’t follow Brittany Spears. Can someone explain why a grown ass adult would need such a thing for so many years? If she is mentally unstable, why is she allowed to roam the earth freely?

    • EricLr

      Because she fried her brain on drugs some time ago, and there wasn’t much brain to fry even before that. According to most accounts, she’s barely able to function without someone to brush her teeth for her.

  4. Seriously, she has “plenty of personal freedom” to somehow be judged competent enough to get married, but if she wants total control of her own health and medical decisions, diet and – finances? Yeah, let’s just see how much of a trifling “formality” that silly ol’ conservatorship is then.

    Whaddaya wanna bet she’s somehow competent enough to waive having a prenup?

  5. not that anybody asked me

    She’s been sued by various disgruntled people, some with legit complaint and some because she’s got so much money. The conservatorship works like a shield and makes those cases much harder to win.

    • White Bull

      Still I’d think a shrink had to sign off on her mental state to grant it. If the shrink signed off on it without just cause isn’t that fraud? If the cause is just than she’s nuts.

  6. Commented on this photo:

    Britney’s excitement wore off suddenly when she learned that “BBC Radio” referred to the British Broadcasting Company.

  7. Richard McBeef

    any long term relationship with a woman turns in to a conservatorship sooner or later.

  8. Bonky

    This is called “The passing of the leash”. It had to happen eventually and it might as well be to this guy, he seems pretty harmless compared to the other two clowns Britney was hanging around with when it all fell apart.

  9. Frank Burns

    I wonder how many times her fiance is going to yell out a “ka-ching!” cash register sound during the wedding ceremony.

  10. Cock Dr

    She’s mental, no one around her cares about anything but the incoming cash flow, and it’s not going to end well.

  11. El Jefe

    It is nice to see a male gold digger succeed once in awhile. In her case this is the second one now after K-Fed. I can’t believe her dad is going along with this.

  12. Anon

    Awesome for him! But something tells me she is going to be facing bankruptcy and he is going to be facing jailtime for fraud in a few years.

  13. Bane

    She’s tranqued to the gills……

  14. Popeye

    Someone should start a Free Brittney campaign

  15. Matt

    Obviously Madonna sucked life force out of her a Christina during that “kiss”

  16. jim

    probably to prevent her from spending all her money on drugs!

  17. Pink Suit

    Her brain must be fried. How can she still put out albums and tour? It’s really sad what happened to her.

  18. Venom

    Maybe it’s just me, but her fiance makes my skin crawl.

  19. Mr Obvious

    Why does she look like she’s about to take cock in every picture? And is surprised by it.

  20. kirby

    You have to feel for a person who’s dirty laundry is aired out in front of the public to the point that everyone knows she is an incompetent dumb ass and that, LITERALLY, children have more sense than her. But I guess it’s kind of like being retarded except that she gets to enjoy the niceties of life. Some time ago in the past, Brit’s soul was taken from her to do “God knows what.” What we are left with is a husk, or like the dried exoskeleton of a cicada bug but sadly was exits the dried exoskeleton is not something better, but instead more like something nature intended to abort.

  21. Swearin

    You might be going about this thing the wrong way. Maybe, just suppose, that Jason Tratwick is really a closeted fashion designer and this is his bid to get a model he FULLY CONTROLS, so he can force pills on her to keep her docile while he picks out her clothes and ensuring she never wears trailer-park-plaid ever again.

  22. The fucker who wrote the article is a loser and so are most of the post on this site. Britney is gold and everything she touches turns to gold.

  23. O'chunt
    Commented on this photo:

    The mouth says “Hello!” but the eyes say “DINGA BINGA WUKKA WUKKA WOO!”

  24. Poetry
    Commented on this photo:

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    Commented on this photo:

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  26. cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing turns me on more than being able to see a woman’s gum.

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