Britney Spears Watches ‘Breaking Bad?’ Haha, No

October 9th, 2013 // 17 Comments
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Yesterday, Britney Spears reinforced the fact that she’s incapable of answering simple questions, so naturally her publicists had to spin into damage control by making it look like she watches Breaking Bad because that seems exactly like a show with a non-intricate plot and simple themes that someone like Britney Spears could easily digest. Then again, it is big on colors. Via Celebuzz and SPOILER ALERT:

“I didn’t like it at all. I didn’t think he [Walter White, played by Bryan Cranston] should have died,” Spears said. “Maybe they’ll do another episode where the ambulance like comes and revives him or something.”

Of course, had the interviewer asked a follow-up question in direct violation of the specific instructions left by Britney’s handlers along with an “emergency cookie,” I’m pretty sure this would’ve happened:

“How would you have liked it to end?”
“Well, first, y’all, Squidward would be like, ‘Patrick, I don’t know why-’” *gets blackbagged, shoved in van*

Photo: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. AAAAAAGGGGH!!! SPOILER. FUCKING. ALERT! Man, the internet sucks when you watch everything on Netflix or Hulu.

  2. ThisWillHurt

    A white trash woman who once married a guy who lives in a trailer while she was drunk watches a show about crystal meth? Please, go on!

  3. cc

    Not possible…she’s still trying to figure out that Flintstones episode…you know the one where Fred gets robbed by a guy who keeps saying ‘that’s it, nice and easy’ and at the end, Fred is bowling and a guy giving him advice keeps saying ‘that’s it, nice and easy’ and Fred figures out that IT’S THE ROBBER and captures the guy!

    Did NOT see that coming!

  4. My favorite part is when Fish admits the unspoken truth – people think that watching and liking Breaking Bad makes them intellectuals. It’s insulting to assume that a simpleton like Britney could even begin to comprehend the sophisticated and intricate writing of your favorite show.

    • Seriously, a person does not have to be intelligent to follow the Breaking Bad plot. The Superficial writer is convinced that he’s an intellectual and nerd again.

  5. Eejut

    You mean she is allowed to stay up after 9pm?

  6. Breaking Bad doesn’t have an “intricate plot”. I like that show, but I’m going to pretend that someone has to be smart to follow it.

  7. I’m glad Walt died. He was an asshole that financially supported a terrible human being of a wife. Aside from having talent as a chemist and making a few good (or lucky) decisions, he was a fucking idiot.

  8. *NOTE TO SELF*: Britney looks like shit in most of these photos.

  9. CP

    Mother fucking cock sucking spoilers!!!!!! I was on the second to last episode!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Pissed off, now ex-reader

    YOU DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I read your website DAILY and I VOW TO QUIT!! How dare you quote Britney saying that!! I usually skip your stupid paragraphs and go straight to the quotes.

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