Britney Spears Is Getting $15 Million To Be An ‘X-Factor’ Judge. Britney Spears.

April 12th, 2012 // 27 Comments
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“But daddy, those furnch fries were down there for me.”

Britney Spears can’t even get married without her husband being named her co-conservator because according to the state of California, she technically shouldn’t even brush her own teeth without a helmet and two spotters. So of course it makes sense that Simon Cowell wants to pay her $15 million to be an X-Factor judge on live national television. She’s practically bursting with insight if insight means the McDouble. I’m not a dictionary. E! News reports:

A rep for the X Factor would neither confirm nor deny whether Spears was even being considered. A Fox rep had no comment. However a production insider tells E! News that “this is an exciting time for [Britney]. It’ll be a fun project and she is welcoming the chance to mentor up-and-coming artists. She loves the idea of helping emerging talent get the recognition they deserve and is really looking forward to being on the show.”
“She gets on very well with Simon. He has worked hard at persuading her to start this new chapter in her career. She is an icon, and the perfect example of what having the X Factor means.”

“Y’all done sang so good. So really, really good. So let me tell y’all a lil somethin’ my always daddy tells me ‘fore each show. He says to me, ‘Bertney, you see this here puppy? I’ll throw in it a river if you don’t get out there in your sea-kin berkini and let them homersexuals touch your baby parts. And we won’t stop at Dairy Queen.’ And, ya know, that’s something that really stuck with me, so I just thought I’d share that with y’all. Simon?”

Photos: Splash News


  1. Cock Dr

    If true…..our entertainment cups overfloweth with the richness of this bounty.
    I look forward to reading Ms Spears insightful commentary on her new StarSearch gig. It’s a certainly more dignified and less seam straining method to collect swag than the activities pictured above.

  2. Adrian


  3. Guess Who's Drunk?

    I didn’t need another reason to never watch X-Factor in the first place, but it’s good to know I have one.

  4. Frank Burns

    Can’t wait for her commentary:

    “Dang, y’all, that stank! If I was you, I’d shave my head and attack an SUV with an umbrella.”

    “Hooey, that was good! I’m happier than a polecat in a hen house.”

    “Simon, I’m hungry!! Go over to the food table and bring me a passel of vittles.”

  5. LJ

    The X-Factor lucked out last year and found an “outside the model” 30 something bar band singer who brought some different folks to the show each week (though not enough to overpower the teenies for the win).

    Without Josh Kracjik the show would have been nothing but “Teen Pop” big production numbers.

    I guess that’s what their shooting for with both Briteny and Lee Ann sitting (or in some cases nodding out) at the judges table.

  6. Deacon Jones

    He knows everyone will tune in to watch a trainwreck

  7. zzz

    Sounds totally plausible to me. Simon’s proven he likes working with – shall we say ‘unstable’ people as judges (yes, I’m talking about you, Paula Abdul).

  8. The guy found he could make many, many millions by weaving an eventual, inevitable trainwreck into the fabric of his shows.

    It isn’t exactly classy, but it clearly works.

  9. El Jefe

    How the fuck are you going to judge real singers when your ass can’t even sing? Every damn song this crazy bitch has ever made was done with auto tune. That is like a garbage man trying to tell a cardiac surgeon how to perform open heart surgery.

  10. Terry

    If they put her on the show as a judge then that show is truly rigged.
    I think the emails to the network that shows the X factor will be off the charts with negative comments. And if she really does become a judge then that show will be cancelled by the end of its second season.

  11. Mr Obvious

    “Why does it smell like Cheetos down here?”

  12. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought she got rid of k-fed?

  13. Pat C.

    As a contestant, would you accept criticism on your singing from Britney Spears? (although actually, it wouldn’t surprise me if she said nothing negative about them).

  14. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    I miss 1999 Britney.

  15. kirby

    someone had to pay the piper, and this is one such instance.

  16. Urbanspaceman

    If she’s “not competent” enough to give a deposition in court, (her lawyer’s words), HTF can she be a judge on X Factor? If she appears on X Factor and seems even halfway lucid and self-aware the courts should revisit her.

  17. Angie

    Those pictures of chubs rolling around on the stage serve as testament to the fact babies are not only overrated, but inflict horrifying damage as well.

  18. Venom

    The show needs ratings. They think Britney Spears can deliver them. That’s all this is.


    this is gonna be epic on the retarded scale.
    “yer pussys hangin all out n shit n y’all needs more cheetos.”

  20. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    Smells like fish, but tastes like Cheetos.

  21. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d motorboat that butt and then bang the hell out of it.

  22. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    Ahhh thought that ya’all had my panties!

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