Brett Ratner Banged Olivia Munn

November 4th, 2011 // 91 Comments

In Olivia Munn‘s book “Suck It, Wonder Woman!: The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek,” she admits to sleeping with a “bigwig” director when she first moved to Hollywood and basically described the encounter as grossly as possible, so naturally Brett Ratner has come forward to admit it’s him. Via The Huffington Post:

The far-too-intimate details of a short relationship with a bigwig Hollywood director are amongst many tales she recalled from her early days in Hollywood. Details such as seeing, “a grown man in an oversized shirt holding his undersized manhood in hands glistening with shrimp fat.”
On Thursday, Ratner came clean, saying that he was that bigwig director, but denied ever having such glistening hands.
“I used to date Olivia Munn, I’ll be honest with everyone here. But when she was ‘Lisa.’ She wasn’t Asian back then,” he said. “She was hanging out on my set of ‘After the Sunset,’ I banged her a few times, but I forgot her. Because she changed her name. I didn’t know it was the same person and so when she auditioned for me for a TV show, I forgot her, she got pissed off, and so she made up all these stories about me eating shrimp and masturbating in my trailer. And she talked about my shortcomings.”

You know, I might talk a lot of shit about America, but at the end of the day, it’s still a country where young, fresh-faced starlets are getting off a bus with a head full of dreams, and Brett Ratner is masturbating with shrimp oil onto said dreams because he’s rich and made a few moderately successful movies despite possessing minimal to no-talent. It’s a story of hope unlike that other guy who grew up poor and black then became president through hard work and discipline. Whoopity-doo.

Photos: Getty, WENN

superficial

  1. D-chi

    What do you mean she WASN’T ASIAN back then?

    (Am I first?)

  2. Ron

    A match made in heaven. “Douche? Meet Female Douche”

  3. Coyote

    I heard Ratner was a Big fan of the Donkey Show in Juarez, Mexico

  4. hmph and here i thought for sure she was a lesbian with that growly stare.. guess my lezdar’s as crappy as my gaydar

    • kimmykimkim

      Yeah, she doesn’t have gay face. You know who does is that Amber what’s her face who is actually gay. She’s got gay face. Cut her hair, put her in a vest and a fedora and I’d swear I’ve seen her at Sue Ellen’s.

  5. eclecticladyland

    Well they certainly met cute. They should get married and have many under-endowed, not-Asian kids.

  6. Racer X

    She reminds me of Ashley Blue.

  7. Made from the roughest stuff on earth

    Iiirk that’s why I can’t fawn over these starlets. If you’re going to spread your legs to the top, keep it hidden. I feel sorry for your fan base.

  8. TomFrank

    And cue the anti-Obama comments by Robert Acquafresca et al. in 3…2…1…

  9. Who can blame him. She is so forgettable.
    She will never sell a Movie Ticket.
    Hire Hotter Chicks.
    She was the worst thing in Cowboys and Aliens; and that is saying a lot.

    • Motherfucker

      Olivia Munn wasn’t in Cowboys & Aliens? That was Olivia Wilde. Can you not tell the difference by looking at her picture??

      • D-chi

        I too think they are the same person.

      • TomFrank

        One has brown eyes, one has blue eyes. One has Asian heritage, one has Celtic. One is criticized for not having breasts, the other…okay, I think I see why you think they’re the same person.

  10. Rico Jones

    I find his view of events very funny. Also did she just admit that she came to Hollywood and started sleeping with directors to get work?

  11. Ra

    why is this slut famous again?

  12. Chris

    Olivia Wilde was in Cowboys and Aliens but I can see how you can confuse the two.

  13. Dude of Dudes

    Masturbating while eating shrimp? How low class. Lobster is the food of choice for the fapping aficionado.

  14. EmmaWatson's Vagina

    how tight is her pussy for him to fug that.

  15. J

    That’s funny because, when I read that part of her book, the first person who popped into my head was Ratner.

  16. TRON

    i had to look up who brett ratner was.

  17. Do Freebird

    Wow, she is not aging well.

  18. DogBoy

    “I banged her a few times, but I forgot her.”
    THAT part of his quote is priceless. Could you possibly say anything worse about a female????

    • Deacon Jones

      HE WON.

      Plain and simple. And what’s that say about how desperate she is to bang a guy that masturbates with shrimp oil?

      I mean, shrimp oil? What the fuck is she even talking about.

      • Dan

        RE: shrimp oil.

        Don’t knock it till you try it. It actually smells like a vagina in the room when you are done.

      • Dave Geek

        It was actually “shrimp fat”. Like he was eating shrimp with his hands and his hands were still greasy from that when he started yanking on little Brett.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        I don’t think he won, because his comments trying to put her down sound very unlikely and not believable, and are that high school level style of retort that a greasy douche would say after being pwned by an infinitely more attractive girl.
        I mean, look at him.

    • TomFrank

      I think Brett Ratner’s at the level where he bangs a different girl every night and forgets each one the next morning.

    • Deacon Jones

      Ok, shrimp “fat”.

      But are shrimp really fat and greasy? Maybe they were breaded….

      We should hold some mock press conference like those shitty Ford commercials and rapid-fire questions at her about this incident.

      • Dave Geek

        They are actually pretty fatty. It’s why they taste so good. But for serious fapping I would probably want breaded just to make sure I was lubed up all proper-like.

      • mrsmass

        shrimp are low in fat, if you don’t dip them in a frydaddy.

      • Dave Geek

        mrsmass is correct, I was getting confused because they are high in cholesterol. They are low in fat. There is oil in their shells so if he was eating them in the shell his fingers that might make him greasy. But I think we can assume it was probably breaded and fried shrimp making Brett’s hands ready for action.

        Really though, would it kill Munn to be more specific.

    • sobrietyisacrutch

      This entire thread should be in the next “Most Important People On the Internet” installment.
      LMFAO!!!!

  19. Olivia Munn Banged Brett Ratner
    Fats
    Commented on this photo:

    first! who has banged Olivia Munn!

  20. DeucePickle

    First this chick and then X-men ? Is nothing safe from this man’s ween ?

  21. Frank Burns

    So, instead of choking his chicken, he was strangling his shrimp? Not even going to bother with any jokes about cocktail sauce. Too bad she didn’t show up on a Tuesday, because that’s when Ratner masturbates after eating an Arby’s Roast Beef ‘N Cheddar – It’s Good Mood Food!

  22. cc

    So, basically she admits to being another slut trying to sleep her way to fame. I don’t know if I should admire her for her honesty or condemn her for being willing to admit it.

  23. Richard McBeef

    I bet she still blames his shrimp oiled dick for the stench.

  24. Believe me, I would love to bang this chick, and both of us would remember that night of hardcore sex.

  25. Bianca

    I like how Olivia Munn is trying to be funny and look cool, but it completely backfired. Now we all now she slept around to make it to C- list and the guy(s) she banged don’t even remember her. It’s pretty sad when a guy who jerks off with shrimp oil comes out looking like the better one in the situation.

    • Dave Geek

      He doesn’t “jerk off with shrimp oil”, he just jerks off while his hands are still greasy with the oil from the shrimp he just finished eating. It’s not like he has a pump bottle of shrimp oil by his computer. Sheesh.

      • Schmidtler

        thanks for clearing that up – here, I could have been left with the wrong impression Ratner is less than a totally classy, refined dude.
        btw, how do you know he DOESN’T have a pump bottle of shrimp oil by his computer?
        I guess it’s better than eating cheetohs and jerking off – at least his dick wasn’t orange.

      • Dave Geek

        Awright, it is possible that he prefers to use shrimp oil for his wanking needs. Happy now?

    • Mama Pinkus

      I would agree with your assessment of Ms. Munn’s intentions, Bianca. She’s trying to cover for the fact she whored in an attempt to, er, get on top. And in doing so she’s inadvertently proved she is a gal who is quite easy to forget.

  26. Venom

    A director banged a wannabe actress is Hollywood, no effing way….
    I am amazed he remembered her at all considering how many women he must have gone through over the years.

  27. Olivia Munn Banged Brett Ratner
    it's so cute when fish plays chris matthews
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, if that reference to someone poor and black ascending to the Presidency has to do with Obama, you have really shown your commie-pinko stripes, Fish.
    Firstly, he is more white and arab than black. And poor?? Puhleeze. He was groomed from the beginning, given every set-aside imaginable. Made editor of Harvard Law Review but never published a damned thing, for instance. Went straight from Occidental to Columbia with shiite grades. Went straight from the Illinois State Senate to the Oval Office in less than three years.
    Yeah, he really paid his dues!

    What a fucking crock.

  28. Olivia Munn Banged Brett Ratner
    karmichael
    Commented on this photo:

    So, let me get this straight. She fucked a guy she was clearly disgusted by for a job or connections. So….that makes her a prostitute and him a john?
    Wow. Why would she even tell this story? It makes her come across as more disgusting and unlikeable than she already is. She is likely one of the most annoying people in entertainment today.
    Her parents must be so proud though. “Here Louise, this is mmy daughter’s book! She talks about how she sucked cocks for lines in movies” She’s come so far!

  29. Dan

    She already is a fake nerd. This completely ruins her for me.

    Keep your goddamn mouth shut if you are going to fuck your boss because fucking someone for anything other than physical pleasure or love makes you a whore.

  30. Gil

    She was more asain back in the day if anything. “Lisa”? I think she got noticed modeling for drift cars back in the day.

  31. She’s really trying hard to make this “I’m a geek!” thing happen, isn’t she?

  32. Dave Geek

    I had no idea that “Olivia” was an Asian name.

    • Fuck Gil

      When do Asians ever use their real names now? I met a MF said his name was Kevin. MF sounded like he was saying KAY-VUN.

  33. Eddie Baby

    “black and poor”? Are you writing about Herman Cain? He not president yet.

  34. Olivia Munn Banged Brett Ratner
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    I really hate this new viewjng system here.

  35. I’d just like to reiterate how much I wish this woman would fall down a well. Her blah face, lack of talent, and constant insistence that she’s some sort of nerd girl is irritating.

  36. And let’s not forget, she didn’t turn into a girl named “Lisa” until “Lou Diamond Phillips” couldn’t get work anymore.

  37. mrsmass

    why would this nobody bother to write a book?

  38. Olivia Munn Banged Brett Ratner
    Commented on this photo:

    As god is my witness I thought ” She wasn’t Asian back then,” was a made-up joke quote until just now.

    fucking awesome! this story has legs…

  39. Parker

    I know shrimp oil is good for anal so maybe he was hoping she’d bend over for him.

  40. Has this woman’s Hollywood life gone down the tubes yet? Or does she still wish she was back on G4TV.

  41. Euroman

    I had to Google her and found out she was a nobody wannabe; Oh well maybe she and Kim Kardashian will be BFF’s and then Kim will do a lesbian sex tape with her.

  42. AngusParvo

    “It’s a story of hope unlike that other guy who grew up poor and black then became president through hard work and discipline.” Hold on there, Herman Cain hasn’t been elected yet.

  43. fandy

    I bet she licked the shrimp fat from his chubby

  44. Olivia Munn Banged Brett Ratner
    Commented on this photo:

    oh lawd her face. whats wrong with it??

  45. Sakuraness

    Wait… So Ratner claims she was utterly forgettable. Yet, made it a point to confirm that he was indeed the A-list celebrity that she was banging all the while denying the shrimp incident. And yet, isn’t the shrimp incident the only reason he would recognize this story to begin with? If she omitted the shrimp portion of the story, would he have continued to forget her? I think this makes the shrimp story EVEN more credible? Are people in Hollywood really making money by claiming/denying shrimp oil is used to wank it?

  46. Really people? Typical. A scumbag says he “banged her a few times” when he was directing a shitty movie and you guys run her down? Yeah he is a real class act.

  47. Rob

    I think at the end of it all its:
    Ratner 1 Munn 0
    Plus if he didn’t remember Munn when she auditioned for him it was either, she was bad at acting or he banged a ton of hot women. Most likey both.

  48. shib

    the evils of hollyweird…also, obama, the freemason, skull & bones illuminati became president?!
    sidenote: what does growing up black have to do with it?

  49. Article should have been titled: What celebrity douche hasn’t fucked Olivia (Lisa) Munn?

    Ratner’s uncensored recollections:
    “The far-too-intimate details of her early days as a prostitute rented short term by a bigwig Hollywood douche are amongst many tales she recalled from her early prostitution days in Hollywood. Details such as servicing, “a grown man in an oversized shirt holding his undersized manhood in hands glistening with shrimp fat.”
    On Thursday, Ratner came clean, saying that he was that bigwig director, but denied ever having such glistening hands.
    “I used to rent Olivia Munn, I’ll be honest with everyone here. But when she was ‘Lisa,’ before needing to change her name, look and background, like most up and coming pornstar/hookers do early in their career after being recognized. She wasn’t Asian back then,” he said. “She was peddling her wares(whoring) on my set of ‘After the Sunset,’ I rented her a few times, but I forgot her. Because she changed her name. I didn’t know it was the same prostitute and so when she whored for me for a TV show, I forgot her, she got pissed off, and so she made up all these stories about me eating shrimp and masturbating in my trailer. And she talked about my shortcomings.”

    “The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek”
    A geek indeed.
    Actual geeks are not physically desirable enough
    to have countless douchebags vying to be the next
    number in a long and busy line serviced.

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