Brett Favre Retires, As If That Means Something

January 18th, 2011 // 19 Comments

Amidst an avalanche of controversy triggered by his penis, Brett Favre has officially filed retirement paperwork with the NFL again, according to

The 41-year-old quarterback stated 2010 was his final season after rejoining the Vikings in August and reiterated that intent throughout an injury-plagued campaign.
Favre’s NFL-record string of 297 consecutive regular-season starts ended last month when he was forced to miss a mid-December game against the New York Giants because of a shoulder injury. Favre returned the following week against Chicago but suffered a concussion that sidelined him for Minnesota’s final two contests.

Considering Brett Favre retires from the NFL the third Tuesday of every month, I’ll believe it when he doesn’t beg to come back next season after realizing he basically just ended his career with a whimper. Which, for the record, is not a reference to the masturbation video, although, I don’t see how anyone could react to pleasuring themselves in a pair of Crocs without looking down and sobbing their way into a tear coma. That’s a pretty dark place.

Photos: Getty


  1. RougeRed

    Wonder how much money he’s netted.

  2. DKNY

    He’s done for real this time. Vikings already said they don’t want him back. No other team would take him on at this point, after such a terrible season and his personal reputation damaged.

  3. Retired? I don’t think so. He will be jacking off till he is wearing orthopaedic crocs…Oh wait, you meant football.

  4. Cock Dr

    I wonder what acts of penance his wife is forcing him to perform.

  5. The man

    Toughest SOB in the league! I would love for Jen Whore’s old man to meet him in a dark alley. Favre would put him in intensive care.
    That being said, he’s just a dumb redneck with more balls than brains.

  6. Reggie Rhino

    “No More Passes from Favre, NFL Cheerleaders Rejoice! “

  7. noooooooooo

    I didn’t think he would take the news about his sisters meth shack so hard, looks like it held some dear memories to him.

  8. poo

    his downfall was glorious. stupid high school football ego.

  9. TomFrank

    “Before this season, women only made me cry through my penis. Now they make me cry through my eyes.”

  10. Brett Favre
    Commented on this photo:

    “I should’a taken that pic in THESE shoes, they make my wang look good!”

  11. Brett Favre
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the exact look I expect from a guy who has no clue what he’s done to his own legacy.

  12. This will allow him to spend more time in the family business, Bathtub Meth.

  13. Urbanspaceman

    He pissed away his legacy over the past three years.

  14. drew

    He has been cheating on his wife for years, even Deanna had to know this, but she stays around for the money. Brett was known to have a sexual fling with a 20 something year old girl when he played in Green bay.

  15. Burt

    41 years-old…He’s lucky he lasted that long.

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