Braylon Edwards Should Be a Lawyer

September 21st, 2010 // 15 Comments
Braylon Edwards

And the New York Jets continue to dominate both on (Suck it, Tom Brady.) and off the field (Suck.. me?) this week. This time around, wide receiver Braylon Edwards was picked up for DUI early this morning where he essentially had the balls to ask the cop if he could just hop a taxi and bounce. Sounds reasonable. ESPN reports:

According to the arrest report, the officer asked Edwards when he had his last drink.
“About an hour ago,” Edwards responded.
Urbina asked Edwards if he was familiar with a breathalyzer. He responded that he was but asked why he would not undergo a field sobriety test like in Michigan, where he went to college. The officer said that was not procedure in New York.
Edwards said to Urbina: “How about I just leave the car and take a cab and go home?”

I’m pretty sure if you or I asked that question we’d get Tasered in the right ventricle, so it’s truly a testament to celebrity justice that Braylon Edwards doesn’t have a heart murmur right now. On that note, you gotta love the part where he asks about a field sobriety test “like in Michigan” because that doesn’t at all make him sound like a repeat offender. “Hey, this isn’t like those other times I almost killed somebody. What gives?”

Photos: Getty

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  1. Haha

    Football sucks cock!!

    • As a former rugger player i tend to agree. The forward pass is gay. Pads are for periods. Stopping ev 15 sec to suck wind for 45? Lazy and lacking stamina youd expect in an athalete. And its no more “like a chess game” than fucking tiddlywinks. But yah fuck the pats, fuck the jets, go giants~

  2. Internet

    My girlfriend has the SAME EXACT velcro hair/beard.

  3. Its all in how you ask. I got rides home from cops before. In WV they laugh at you when you wreck drunk. Used to be in jersey theyd smack the shit out of you and let it go as a warning. Damn litigious society today forces them to go by the book :-( jets had a couple scrapes with the law lately. But it beats players dying ev othr year like in denver

  4. Amy

    I mean, I’d ask? Why not? Sometimes cops are cool. Then again, I’m young and female.

    • It had to be said

      Yeah. That wouldn’t be “just hop in a cab” then. How much do you want to avoid an arrest???

  5. plumber irvine

    You will become as great as your dominant aspiration. If you cherish a vision, a lofty ideal in you heart, you will realize it.

  6. JigglyPoof

    Seriously? Do you not have anything better to write about? Who DOESN’T try to get out of sh*t with the cops? So what he had a ridiculous answer, you have a ridiculously dumb post. Nice one man. Way to do your job. TMZ’s got more shit than you playboy.

  7. captain america

    …………..or a baptist minister.

  8. Deacon Jones

    He’ll be broke in five years from paying his 20 person posse to hang out with him.

    I wouldnt think Rex would’ve given this piece of shit / overrated player a chance after his arrest record in Cleveland.

    I bet he was snorting some nose butter that night, only time I’ve been up till 5 AM drinking was when I’ve been “helped” along.

  9. gerbil in my butt

    Look up dumbass in the dictionary and you’ll see that exact picture. Absolutely love the neck-beard… Great look started by LeDouche.

  10. mikey

    silly negro

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