Brangelina: Chest & Leather Edition

December 17th, 2010 // 65 Comments

Proving they do way more drugs than we give international child snatchers credit for, here’s Brangelina at the premiere of The Tourist in Madrid last night where Angelina Jolie dusted off her décolletage to distract from the fact Brad Pitt wears leather pants now. Except they just ended up looking like they’re about to make a white tiger appear and/or have a three-way with Stevie Nicks. Jethro Tull probably looked at these and called off the search for their missing flutist.

[Director's Commentary: I'm very old.]

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Jimbob

    I really thought she had small implants, but she doesn’t have them now. Poor cow…

  2. overrated

    She has to show some cleav because he face is looking rough. Seriously, she is just looking old and tired. I think Fish is right, too many drugs.

  3. DOucHe BaGELs

    It looks like Angie brought her gay friend to the premiere

  4. dude

    dear Fish,

    I love you. Thanks for the laffs. Damn, I have to scoot off to court now.
    “missing flutist”. LMAO

    • lot lizard

      Actually, the flutist (and singer) of Tull was famous for wearing a waist sash and white poofy pants tucked into boots…

  5. RoboZombie

    She used to be pretty…now she just looks like one of those zombies in 28 Days Later.

  6. DOucHe BaGELs

    Jennifer Aniston bought him those pants.

    IN YO FACE SUCKA!!

  7. DKNY

    Even here, at an event where she’s all done up and supposed to be looking her best, she is not attractive. I think people like this idea of her being some super hot piece of ass, and she’s just not and never was. In her prime, she was a 6. Here she’s a 4.5.

    • lot lizard

      So true. I remember *her* once saying she thinks she looks like a character on “Antz” and didn’t see what the fuss was about.

    • Paloma

      I COULDN’T AGREE MORE…THOUGH I THINK 6 AND 4.5 ARE BOTH BEING VERY GENEROUS INDEED. The bitch was, is, and always will be hideous and the most infuriating thing about it to me is that she has tarnished Brad for me. He was once hot & since he has been with her his appeal is completely gone. He is pathetic and repulsive. He and Brittany Spears are the dirties celebrities on Earth. I just want to throw them in a soapy tub to soak for a week & scrub the filth off of them. They have the worst hygiene and grooming ever. It’s no wonder this hideous skeletor bitch had IVF to concieve her “natural” born children. I wouldn’t let his nasty ass touch my cooch either. Even this whore seems to have some standards when it comes to touching the cooter. WTH am I saying? LOL That’s just absurd! This whore has no standards. I made a funny!

      • lot lizard

        LOL Paloma, fucking hilarious and sooo true. I’ve heard how he is greasy and reeks like a chainsmoking hobo – can you imagine the stench that envelops the room when he drops his drawers and the week-old swamp-ass residue and fromunda cheese is allowed to emanate!? And she might have been *doing* her brother if the suckface episode is any indication, so forget standards. A sorry lot, these two. Archetypal of how money can’t buy class. [Brit too - although I do feel sorry for her - she's had parasites sucking the life out of her ever since, well, always. She was trailer to begin with, and still is, whereas antz/brad's pit are "A listers" and held up as role models for their numerous photo-ops...um, I meant charity work]

  8. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    e-rock
    Commented on this photo:

    I am not sure I have ever seen him look so much like a douche! eeeek! what the hell is happening to them? they used to be uber hot, now its just kinda creepy

  9. Lady Blah Blah

    Her face does look rough. Given her former relationship with “Billy Bob,” I am led to conclude that she’s insane. She looks crazy. Hopefully she’s a good mom to her adopted kids.

  10. Jolie often looks so closed in, tired & resigned during these public promotion events. Hopefully it’s just too much epic sex & trying to keep up with a gazillion rugrats, not drugs.
    I will squelch the useless impulse to offer her a warm coat & an invite for a cup of hot chocolate.

  11. She’s getting older, she’s even starting to develop the skeletor hands and has grown a pair of Lisa Rinna lips, she REALLY needs to stop sucking that botox dick. Him on the other hand still looks sexy as all out hell, but I’m willing to bet that Viagra helps him satisfy “the monster”.

  12. In that first pic, ole Bradley-bo is starting to look like Jeff Bridges…….

    .

  13. Perez Hilton Is An Ass

    She looks like a hag. More so than usual.

  14. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    reformed_druid
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s having a mid-life crisis, been having one. It’s just getting really sad now. Anyone else notice that the only time you see these two together is when she has something going on? She doesn’t go to any of his things, but it seems he is required to show up for all of hers. By the way, wasn’t she retiring to raise the kids or something like that?

  15. Richard McBeef

    aniston > jolie – say what you want about aniston’s icy giner, at least she doesn’t look like some sort of decaying skeletwhore.

  16. It looks like Jennifer Aniston has been practicing some nasty Voo Doun on Angelina

  17. Casey

    This is the second time that I can recall in about a week that they’ve been out in velvet and leather. No more, please. As bad as leather pants are, velvet just doesn’t look good on anyone anymore.

  18. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    Ella
    Commented on this photo:

    The transition into Billy Bob-Thornton is almost complete

  19. shorty

    hahaha, jethro tull. decolletage! hahaha.

  20. McFeely Smackup

    jesus, these two dress like kids who snuck in to their parents closet and played dress-up by randomly putting on pieces of clothing…and their parents were Liberace and Zap Brannigan.

  21. maemers

    The only homewrecking hag that people are willing to celebrate like royalty folks. Drink it in.

  22. BillyBobsRevenge

    When I see this it is like looking at two soulless cadavers. They look like they should be grandparents in the Twilight Saga. Homewreckin’, Vein-ass, Loosers.

    I am sure they are really nice people though.

  23. ohwell

    Angie is still beautiful (her face is perfect – beautiful big eyes, full lips, high cheek bones, nice skin – unlike megan fox she has never had acne scars, large pores and blackheads) but she is getting older. she looks tired and worn out. that is all. she is way past her prime.

  24. ghost

    I would really like to smack that look off Brad Pitts face in the first photo.

  25. Jessica

    Glad to see most people on here feel how I do about her. She is hideous, she’s a bitch, and her movies are a pile of shit. I don’t get it, and never did. Even in her “peak” her best movie was “Girl Interrupted” and she was just playing herself. I’m so over hearing and reading about this unattractive and boring couple.

  26. miles

    i’m old too… and that was fucking hilarious. any interjections of classic rock acts are totally welcome.

  27. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    Commented on this photo:

    Please note: pants and boots are all 1 piece. A little less Jethro and a little more Steve Miller (ala space cowboy)….

  28. greg

    Well, that makes two straight guys in this that wear leather pants in this world. Unfortunately, Brad isn’t helping the cause and giving me an “i am legend” situation.

  29. right

    They both look hagged out.

  30. jojo

    Oh look the happy couple! Mr and Mrs Wince.

  31. Who dressed him Johnny Depp?

  32. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen here attempting to perform their trademark “Double Pitts to Chesty” move

  33. gigi

    Haters are so much fun!! What you people are looking at is a beautiful couple who make beautiful babies & do pretty cool things for other people…. the more the hate, the more the awesome :D [then again, I personally think she & Johnny are soul mates, but that's neither here nor there...]

  34. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Pitt looks like a greasy simpleton in every shot.
    And Angie looks like a zombie. Those kids must be wearing her down.

  35. SK

    Thats sweet, Brad brought his frail grandma. And no way would Johnny tap that, she’s 15 years past what he likes.

  36. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    jethro fan
    Commented on this photo:

    don’t ever equate Jethro Tull to a leather pant’s aging actor.

  37. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    Kristin
    Commented on this photo:

    I think Jesse James wants his look back….

  38. latam2012

    she might not be at her peak, but to say she was never beautiful is ridiculous and just makes people who say it look like a bunch of healous haters. Go and watch some of her old interviews, she was amazing looking.

  39. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    ena
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks sooo fat in her belly

  40. RealityCzech

    WTF r all u fucktards talking about? Brad n Angelina are the world’s most beautiful couple PERIOD. Stop hating. They look younger than most ppl their age, Brad looks hot as hell in leather pants sorry haters ur retarded! Angelina looks hot in anything! Go Brad & Angelina!

  41. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    marie
    Commented on this photo:

    I would luv 2 have 3-some with U……and I would focus on Angelina.

  42. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    tisdatafact
    Commented on this photo:

    Cocaine is a bitch …

  43. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    mimi
    Commented on this photo:

    ugly outfit…what was she thinking ?
    she looks like a corpse
    usually she’s better

  44. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    florina
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s to beautiful for him..

  45. Anne

    lol its funny cuz i was always like oh whats the big deal about Brad Pitt, like i never got it, but then i saw him when he was younger and then it hit me. So ya idk who likes him now :(

  46. Brad’s George Carlin smirk gives it away.

  47. GG1000

    Interesting body language – every cell in his body seems to be pulling away except she’s got his arm in a death grip (and from the look of her, that’s the right term, she looks like an extra from Dracula), then in the next shot he’s desperately extricating his arm and pulling even further. And why does he look like such a dick?

  48. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    MST
    Commented on this photo:

    I am so sick of these two — I wish they would go to France and stay there!

  49. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    titties
    Commented on this photo:

    Shes so fucking hot

  50. Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    poor fabric choice… both of em

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