Brandi Glanville’s Book Might Land Her A Movie Deal Please God Scorch The Earth

By: Photo Boy / February 28, 2013

Posted by Photo Boy

Brandi Glanville landed a book deal because we’re a country full of dumbfuck she was willing to exploit the fact that she’s a crazy drunk who was lucky enough to have her marginally famous husband cheat on her with a richer, crazier drunk. Naturally this classic love story lends itself far beyond the literary world. E! Online reports:

After a TMI press tour promoting her hit tell-all Drinking & Tweeting: And Other Brandi Blunders, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star has revealed her book may be getting the big-screen treatment.

She also vowed to stop talking about LeAnn and Eddie’s affair after she’s done promoting this book, because she’s already writing a second book. Having covered the singular noteworthy event in her life aside from banging Gerard Butler, I can’t imagine what she’s got left to say except I can and it’s probably a lot like this:

Chapter One

     It was on a beautiful spring day that I found myself out spending the money of a whorish stick lady singer who will remain nameless because I promised not to talk about how she banged my husband while they may or may not have been shooting a movie together. Where was I? Oh yeah, so I went shopping, then got really drunk and had sex someone who now denies even being in the country that year.

Chapter Two

     As I was explaining to the dog spa owner that my favorite miniature dalmadoodle, Eddie McTinydick, needed his nails clipped, it occurred to me that I hadn’t had eaten yet that day. Alarmed that I might turn into a talentless man-stealing slut if I started skipping meals, I asked him out to lunch. He agreed, then we got drunk and had sex in a tanning bed.

Photo: Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN