Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds Got Married

September 10th, 2012 // 71 Comments
Where It All Began
Blake Lively Ryan Reynolds
Green Lantern Raped Me, But Ryan Reynolds Still Gets This Read More »

Ryan Reynolds has barely been divorced from Scarlett Johansson for a year, but Blake Lively has awesome breasts, so you can see the pickle he was in here. People reports:

A source confirms to PEOPLE that the couple tied the knot Sunday night at Boone Hall Plantation in Mt. Pleasant, S.C., just outside of Charleston.
The reception took place in a white tent at the plantation on Sunday evening. Florence Welch (of Florence and the Machine), a good friend of the Gossip Girl star, performed three songs live, and there was also a deejay who spun tunes. PEOPLE also confirmed that a cake was being driven down from Virginia for the event.
Lively’s mother and sister were also spotted in town, and a source told PEOPLE that the two had dinner in Charleston with Bette Midler earlier in the weekend.

What makes their marriage even more romantic is that before they got together, Blake spent an entire summer banging Leonardo DiCaprio in Italy until he dumped her so he could go back to plowing his way through the entire Victoria’s Secret catalog. So really, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively are each others second choices, and that’s what marriage has been about since the dawn of time. Finding another broken, rejected soul to settle with out of fear of dying alone which is why we have to protect it from the gays. This is just for us, you queers, now scoot, skedaddle. Before you make it all fun and not depressing.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. MB

    FIRST BITCHES!

  2. Sizzle

    I can imagine that Florence’s songs about drowning oneself over a bad relationship really made the wedding pleasant.

  3. Sliver

    This guy moves faster than Tom Cruise.

  4. terry

    Both are box office disasters of late!!!
    The Green Lantern was as shitty as you could make it! Who green lit that trash!

  5. Congrats, you two!… for having Florence sing at your wedding. As for the rest of it… meh.

  6. YEs

    Gotta get it done before that hairline gets any worse.

  7. The Most Interesting

    Don’t worry, Fish! The over-under here can’t be more than about 7 months….

  8. wazmeister05

    but he is so awesome and she is so…terrible.

  9. alex

    Oh look a bunch of photo’s of Ryan making the same goofy expressions he makes in his movies…I’d rather Blake got hitched to Spencer Pratt. That’s how much of a douche this Ryan Reynolds is.

  10. cc

    I hope they enjoy the 14 months they are married to the fullest.

  11. Cock Dr

    The things people will do to get on a magazine cover.
    The entertainment industry is well familiar the idea of marriage as a career move.

  12. Schmidtler

    Those pics of her on a balcony in a bikini look pretty good – she should arrange for all photographs of her to be taken from far away, at an angle that doesn’t show her face directly. She’s like a hooker – they look great from the car window a few blocks away, then when they get up to the window, aye yi yi!

  13. Jack Ketch

    I give it 7 months …

  14. He was free! Why would he chain himself to another one? Anyway, congrats and all that shit.

    Btw Fish, stop telling the gays the real reason we don’t want them getting married. Let them keep thinking it’s for religious reasons.

  15. JC

    C’mon, Fish. Don’t knock the “look for the wounded gazelle at the edge of the herd, then strike!” method of dating and relationships. It works for me. Sure, three months in, somebody’s car gets set on fire, but material possessions are fleeting.

  16. Ana

    If this is true, I’m gonna go with “she’s pregnant.”

    Gotta get the wedding dress photos in before she starts showing.

  17. Swearin

    Well, their last production was terrible, so I doubt this one will be any better. Least there will be less sentient shit clouds and glowing green bodysuits (I hope).

  18. “deejay”

    Really?

  19. Smapdi

    “there was also a deejay who spun tunes” – no shit? I thought he was there to weave the bride’s dress on a giant loom.

    “the two had dinner in Charleston with Bette Midler earlier in the weekend” – wtf? Is Midler trying to get by these days as a wedding singer or something?

  20. Inner Retard

    Congrets! They look great together. I’d glady watch their sex tape.

  21. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    Ninja
    Commented on this photo:

    Correction, she’s his 3rd choice. You’re forgetting about the engagement to Alanis. I’m #3, I’m #3!! Woo Hooo!! – Blake

  22. Frank Burns

    If she wasn’t so busy with the election, I’m sure Senator Johansson would have been happy to raise a toast to their honor at the rehearsal dinner.

  23. joe

    The real question is whether Ben Affleck sat on the bride’s side or the groom’s.

  24. Dinosaurland

    You’d think he’d have heard of just dating, considering all the shitty romantic comedies he’s been in.

  25. Elliott

    He went from a pair of amazing, natural breasts to some mediocre, fake ones. Poor ol’ chap.

  26. Why does her hair look like something stuck in my shower drain?

  27. El Jefe

    Beard contract #2, signed sealed and delivered.

  28. Rudi314

    My Guess: In 2015, he will marry Taylor Momsen

  29. Emma Watson's Vagina

    Ryan just married my future ex-wife

  30. TaT

    He’s an idiot.

  31. joe

    Enjoy your meal of fake breasts Sir!

  32. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn. Shit. Fuck. Crap.

  33. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just letting you know Ryan, I’m divorcing you as soon as someone better shows up. Don’t take it personally.

  34. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Just smile and pretend I didn’t trap you by piercing a condom.

  35. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t believe I jut married Penn Badgley’s sloppy seconds…Penn Badgley’s!!!!

  36. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    -Oh really, we’re banging within a year you say? I’ve freaking banged ScarHo and you…who? Penn Badgley. I’m out of your league poppet.

    -You also banged Alanis Morisette. And you’re seriously going to brag about ScarHo? The one who got Sean Peened?

    -Crap. Well played Blake, well played.

  37. This won’t last long.

  38. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah I know she’ll just move on to the next co-star first chance she gets, but whaddaya want? Boobies!

  39. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    poopy
    Commented on this photo:

    I dont get the attraction to blake lively
    she has no lips
    her face is boring
    i guess shes way better than your average woman but not better than average hollywood

    • Happy_Evil_Dude

      Have you ever seen her on screen? Pictures don’t do her justice.

      • kittenmittensmascotmeow

        Eh i still think shes meh , pics like these are more real to life , on screen its all movie makeup and lighting and airbrushing . My first encounter with a celebrity off screen was pretty enlightening , and yes she had full makeup on and still looked like a MUCH different person .

  40. Martina

    Do you think they watch Kim Kardashian’s sex tape to get in the mood?

  41. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    OK this is awkward, so just keep smiling alright? You know how I dated Jessica Biel that one time? Well it was just after she was with Derek Jeter. So i’ve got herpes. And you do too. Ow! Stop digging into my shoulder!

  42. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    OK this is awkward, so just keep smiling alright? You know how I dated Jessica Biel that one time? Well it was just after she was with Derek Jeter. So i’ve got herpes. And you do too. Ow! Stop digging into my shoulder!

  43. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    So this is what staring into nothingness is like.

  44. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Crap, who am I kidding, I’d sell my left nut to be in Ryan’s place right now. F U Ryan Reynolds. I hope you pull a Kardashian and divorce in 72 days.

  45. anonym

    6 months tops.

    no one in hollywood meets for less than 2 years and gets married for life.

    Anyone have pics of blake before her nosejob?
    oh well, if not, one of her kids will have that nose.

  46. Mama Pinkus

    HOW does that man bag such hot chicks? He’s a mediocre actor and he looks like a fucking dweeb.

  47. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    georgie
    Commented on this photo:

    “Good god! That’s Hamm’s wiener? I’ve just made the biggest mistake of my life.”

  48. brian

    Not like he’s rushed into things like this before …Oh wait

  49. Ryan Reynolds Blake Got Married Secret Wedding
    angryserver
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish there marriage is as successful as The Green Lantern

  50. terry

    Two box office flops and one clandestine marriage.
    Yep, that’s Hollywood for ya!

Leave A Comment