Beyonce doesn’t sound like her songs? I’m shocked.

April 22nd, 2009 // 58 Comments

- Beyonce’s real singing voice or that time I thought my cat was a beautiful woman? I mean, not that you’re not, Whiskers. Who’s a good girl? [Jezebel] UPDATE: TMZ confirms it’s a hoax.

- Michael Phelps is apparently dating Miss California Carrie Prejean. Because there’s something to be said about vigorous dry-humping after reading the Bible. But not really. [Allie is Wired]

- Nicollete Sheridan gets killed off Desperate Housewives, and nobody watches. Except a tearful Michael Bolton. “Tell me how am I supposed to live without you… Oh, wait. I’m rich. To the Whores Room!” [Vulture]

- Paris Hilton allowed near African royalty. Christ, haven’t these people suffered enough? This is probably a good time for our president to say “Aw, hellll no.” [PopSugar]

- Billy Bob Thornton thinks you’re a “humpback geek” for noticing when he acts like an asshole in international news. — But still think he’s cool, alright? Please? He’ll say the “French fried potater” line. [Videogum]

- Bo Bice gets his own trading card. Yes, Virginia, there is a Satan. And he loves American Idol. [Best Week Ever]

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. JC

    #41

    How about teaching men to use a fucken condom! They sweet talk females into unprotected sex and the female gets pregnant and has to have an abortion or raise the baby alone. Meanwhile the guy is off the hook. I am not saying the female is a total victim because she needs to demand no glove no love, but the men always get off the hook when it comes to abortion. I know females that have had abortions and yes it is a sad thing but they are relieved they do not have to have an unwanted baby.

  2. retared celebs

    she needs FIRE the person who picks out her wardrobe. she looks like she came out of little house on the prairie its awful.. good thing her man is made out of human though.. thanks for sporting the obvious!

  3. Langon

    http://www.tmz.com/2009/04/22/beyonces-dad-was-right-hoax-hoax-hoax/

    TOLD YOU dumbass pieces of shit.

    Beyonce has officially been cleared of all bad singing charges — the atrocious supposed “board mix” of her performance on “The Today Show” last year was altered after all.

    Just as Mathew Knowles told us, the audio clip that many people believed was leaked from “Today” was indeed a fake.

    In fact, TMZ found the person behind the prank who was surprised it went as far as it did, saying, “It’s a little bit crazy. No one in their right mind would sound like that, and no one would cheer for someone singing like that.”

  4. NADIA

    DAMMMN BEYONCE, GIRL YOU NEED TO START WORKING OUT YOU LEGS HERE IS HOW YOU DO IT:

    20 MIN OF CARDIO 4 TIMES A WEEK
    50 SQUATS AFTER THE CARDIO

    AND MOST IMPORTANT : STOP EATING THEM CHILI FRIED CHICKEN

    THOSE THINGS LOOK DISGUSTING, MY LEGS ARE THE BOMBBBBBB

  5. I see Beyonce eats well, he is his way of showing Aretha Franklin! Moreover, he is fucking ugly feet. All this money is not a bitch, a cocoa butter these scars. Because the legs of the girls always seem to be bad.

  6. anonymoose
    Commented on this photo:

    Dippy Dumbnuts!

  7. anonymoose
    Commented on this photo:

    Those knees are very unpleasant looking.

    All of it is, really. At least she’s not “singing.”

  8. anonymoose
    Commented on this photo:

    Couple of slobs.

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