Beyonce Only Wants You To See Beyonce-Approved Photos of Beyonce

April 23rd, 2013 // 33 Comments
The Internet Lasts Forever
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Shortly after the Super Bowl, Beyonce‘s publicist literally thought she could edit the Internet by asking sites to remove unflattering photos of her client because apparently it’s everybody’s job to make Beyonce look good. So not only did this not work, it backfired so bad it became a massively popular meme that resulted in way more people seeing the pics than had they just let the whole thing go. Except here’s where it gets even better. Not only did Beyonce not fire the publicist who made her the laughing stock of the Internet, she tasked her with doubling down on stupid by banning all photographers from Beyonce’s Mrs. Carter World Tour. Via Fstoppers:

Beyoncé’s publicist, the same one who emailed and asked websites to remove images she didn’t like few months back, decided that this time they wouldn’t allow photographers to shoot her shows. Instead, they would provide 3-5 pre-approved images their own photographer shot for the media to use after each show. They wanted to control what images the media had access to. But we all know how media works – they will do anything possible to get images that other publications don’t have. If they can’t send a photographer to give them original photos, the next best thing they can do is buy photos from fans in the front rows in the arena (cameras were not allowed, but no one can take away phones). It’s the next best thing for them, and a huge nightmare for Beyoncé and her publicist.

Just to show how well this plan is working, we already posted an entire gallery last week of Beyonce looking like Michael Jordan in a nipple suit and added a bunch more to the post you’re reading. So now might be a good time for somebody to sit Beyonce down and let her know that she’s been a professional performer for over a decade now and should already know that 75% of her stage faces look she walked in on Jay-Z on the can. (Or herself which is apparently part of the show.) You gotta love you for you is all I’m saying.

Photos: Splash News


  1. ASIF

    I will forever remember the super bowl pictures every time i hear or see beyonce.

  2. Cock Dr

    When you take away the wigs, theatrical makeup and costumes she ain’t so hot.

  3. Deacon Jones

    This worried about her looks, and people still dont think she’d pay a surrogate mother to have her baby?

    That Oprah clip of her “stomach” folding in half was undeniable…..undeniable.

  4. “Amanda Bynes wants magazines and websites to use only selected, pre-approved pictures of her for publication? What a great idea! It’s foolproof!” – Beyoncé’s publicist

  5. FattyFatty2X4

    Bow Down Bitches!
    Don’t you know who I am?

  6. Hey, I’ve got an idea. If you don’t want people to take pictures of you, move to Cuba for good. Take your slack-jawed husband with you.

  7. Beyonce Mrs. Carter Tour Photos Paparazzi
    Commented on this photo:

    She(?) has faked her singing, faked her pregnancy, and now it looks like she’s faking her gender, at least from the neck up.

  8. SIN

    She still can’t dance and sing at the same time.

    I wonder if she is afraid of pictures of her stomach getting out proving she didn’t carry the baby. Based on her so called pregnancy, she looked like she was wearing padded close and never was there one oic of her exposed pregnent belly. She had a surrogate carry it.

  9. Beyonce Mrs. Carter Tour Photos Paparazzi
    Commented on this photo:

    So when they said Beyonce “needs better knockers” a confused stylist stole a gold door knocker off someone’s front door and hung it on her chest?

  10. Beyonce Mrs. Carter Tour Photos Paparazzi
    Commented on this photo:

    Its the only concert tour that includes nap time, for everyone on and off stage. Or, maybe its her impersonation of Rihanna taking a left hook from Chris Brown?

  11. Beyonce Mrs. Carter Tour Photos Paparazzi
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “They remembered the fake nipples, but they forgot the toilet paper? Godammit!”

  12. Only official photographs of Dear Singer now? Somebody ask Rodman to find out if Kim Jong-Un is short a publicist.

  13. Should we refer attempting to this ridiculous effort as Amanda Bynes Syndrome? This way in a few month the publicist can release a statement about her client (Beyonce) entering Rehab to recover from a bout with ABS.

  14. Beyonce Mrs. Carter Tour Photos Paparazzi
    Commented on this photo:

    screams deeply trying to cover the
    CONSTANT flatulence

  15. Beyonce Mrs. Carter Tour Photos Paparazzi
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like sh%t !

  16. Bouncey is talentless and very unattractive. Why she is famous is a mystery.

  17. carpaltunnel

    her Q rating is poopie.

  18. i will accept cash to look at her pictures, but if no cash, i cant be bothered.

  19. Mama Pinkus


  20. Beyonce Mrs. Carter Tour Photos Paparazzi
    Commented on this photo:

    Thunder thighs.

  21. Beyonce Mrs. Carter Tour Photos Paparazzi
    eddie scozzare
    Commented on this photo:

    aww, she’s doing the mike francesa! cute!

  22. Beyonce Mrs. Carter Tour Photos Paparazzi
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a transvestite in all of these shots.

  23. Very attractive woman. Unfortunately for her, I — and apparently several million other adult males (and females, I’ll wager) — just don’t give a flying fuck!

  24. Beyonce Mrs. Carter Tour Photos Paparazzi
    Commented on this photo:

    What?! As if there is no comments for this yet. I’m shocked.

  25. lily

    over rated cow.

  26. me

    how bout she just doesnt make those ugly faces when shes “singing” live and she wont have to worry about bad pics…going out of her way to make sure shes preceived as perfect?? that makes me like her less…ur famous, theres going to be times that someone gets a pic of u & u dont look perfect, bc YOU”RE NOT!! no one is!!

  27. Sommer


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