Beyonce’s Dad: ‘The Divorce Rumors Were A Hoax To Sell Tickets’

August 28th, 2014 // 15 Comments
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So one of two things are happening here: 1. Matthew Knowles reads the Internet and saw of all your conspiracy theories about Beyonce and Jay Z‘s divorce. 2. You’re all fucking detectives who probably solve murders in Hawaii without even inviting me. Goddammit. Page Six reports:

Sometimes rumors “ignite” tours, he explained. “The Jedi mind trick fools you a lot of times. So things you see sometimes are [makes poof noise],” he said.
When asked if he thought the now famous elevator fight between Jay Z and Solange was staged, Knowles refused to go into details but said, “Everyone’s talking about it. Ticket sales went up. Solange’s album sales went up 200%.”

Okay, so they made a shitload of money in ticket sales. That’s cool, I guess, but Chris Martin got to bang Jennifer Lawrence, so I’mma let you finish, but Gwyneth Paltrow had the greatest divorce OF ALL TIME. (You know she’s saying that shit into a $48,000 Chakra mirror while conditioning her pubic hair with Allosaurus marrow. Don’t even pretend she’s not.)

Photos: INFphoto

superficial

  1. The fat rumors are all true.

  2. It didn’t work. I still didn’t buy a ticket.

  3. JC

    So Solange’s album sales went from 1 to 3 copies? Good for her.

  4. I’m still waiting for their daughter surrogate mom to talk…

  5. Great. Nice job, Dad. Now watch their credibility plummet even further. Do you aspire to be a lying fuck like the Kardashian Klan?

  6. oh i know

    “…so, I’mma let you finish…” Fish, I adore you!! lmao!!!!

  7. Swearin

    In related news, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are launching a fifty-city tour of overproduced songs and shitty comedy, and Kanye is launching his new tour “The Resurrection of Yeezus” while Kim fast tracks the Kardashian Dream Divorce E! Special that’s been in the can since the honeymoon.

  8. Arlmlo Schlongfooster

    They still dont denies that jZ is on the down low though

  9. My days of hearing way too much of this puffed-up bitch have definitely come to a middle.

    (sorry, Joss Whedon.)

  10. Hmm

    I see the black Michael Lohan is speaking again.

  11. tlmck

    This just proves that their fans are morons. Not exactly a news flash.

  12. gfhng

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  13. Martina

    Grifter’s have got to grift.
    Beyonce is probably 40 years old now, JayZ is going to have trade down soon, right?

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