Good Morning, The Joker With Implants, And Other News

- Real authors hate Gwyneth Paltrow. [Lainey Gossip]

- So I should’ve gone with Flowers In The Attic? I knew it. [Dlisted]

- Believe In Your Selfie [theCHIVE]

- “Shakira is a witch!” – Jessica Simpson in line at Quiznos. [tooFab]

- The 17 Best Answers Aaron Paul Gave During His Reddit AMA [BuzzFeed]

- Ashley Greene is still leggy. [Popoholic]

- Gathering of the Juggalos Tour Diary: Day One [FilmDrunk]

- Miley Cyrus is aware of the color of her skin, yet never quite says what it is. I saw what she did there. [IDLYITW]

- Goddamn Nina Agdal is practically perfect. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Rihanna stiffed a funeral company. Not hers, mind you, Chris Brown will cover that one. By court order. [Celebslam]

- Women can’t even pass out at baseball games without the stranger next to them grabbing their boobs anymore. Thanks, Obama. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Anna Wintour will burn Vogue to the ground before North West is on the cover. [Amy Grindhouse]

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, WENN