Ben Affleck Wants To Direct Kristen Stewart. Uhh…

“Look at her feeling so happy and safe in my arms again.”
“I wonder what kind of car Ben Affleck will go down on me in…”

Kristen Stewart had an open affair with Rupert Sanders the director of Snow White and The Hunstman, and Ben Affleck probably had sex with Blake Lively while directing her in The Town. So finding out that Ben wants to cast Kristen in his next movie Focus is probably going over super awesome with Jennifer Garner who’s pregnant with their fourth kid. I really see her accepting this information with non-murderous rage. “Downright jubilant,” if I had to guess a reaction. Via E! News:

We asked Affleck for an update when we caught up with him the other night at the GQ Men of the Year party at Chateau Marmont.
“I’m hesitant to get into casting stuff because I don’t know what’s finished or isn’t because people come in and out of things all the time,” he said. “But she’s terrific and hopefully it will work out.”

Of course, the obvious joke here is when’s Michael Bay going to cast her in his next movie except don’t be ridiculous. Dudes don’t eat chicks, bro. They bong your dong, then you thank them by making them turtle wax your Lambo. BOOSH. Simple as that.

“Dammit, who gave this dude an advanced copy of my manifesto? Those where supposed to be Christmas gifts for models I stranded in the desert, you guys.” – Michael Bay, just now

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