Ben Affleck Wants To Direct Kristen Stewart. Uhh…

November 16th, 2012 // 29 Comments
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“Look at her feeling so happy and safe in my arms again.”
“I wonder what kind of car Ben Affleck will go down on me in…”

Kristen Stewart had an open affair with Rupert Sanders the director of Snow White and The Hunstman, and Ben Affleck probably had sex with Blake Lively while directing her in The Town. So finding out that Ben wants to cast Kristen in his next movie Focus is probably going over super awesome with Jennifer Garner who’s pregnant with their fourth kid. I really see her accepting this information with non-murderous rage. “Downright jubilant,” if I had to guess a reaction. Via E! News:

We asked Affleck for an update when we caught up with him the other night at the GQ Men of the Year party at Chateau Marmont.
“I’m hesitant to get into casting stuff because I don’t know what’s finished or isn’t because people come in and out of things all the time,” he said. “But she’s terrific and hopefully it will work out.”

Of course, the obvious joke here is when’s Michael Bay going to cast her in his next movie except don’t be ridiculous. Dudes don’t eat chicks, bro. They bong your dong, then you thank them by making them turtle wax your Lambo. BOOSH. Simple as that.

“Dammit, who gave this dude an advanced copy of my manifesto? Those where supposed to be Christmas gifts for models I stranded in the desert, you guys.” – Michael Bay, just now

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. USDA Prime McBeef

    Fuck Michael Bay. You gotta eat it.

  2. theoriginal LJ

    Affleck was banging Jennifer Garner during Daredevil, while still engaged to Jlo, so oral sex with with his leading ladies could be seen as almost abstinence.

    I can see another black eye in the future.

  3. SexJihaad

    You spelt ‘perform cunnilingus on’ wrong

  4. Maybe Robsten has an open relationship clause. Maybe they can cheat like twice a year.

    Kristen: Um, I’m gonna need an extension. I’ve cashed in my two bangs.
    Rob: WTF it’s January 3rd!!!!

  5. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart The Twilight Saga Breakin Dawn Part 2 Madrid Premiere
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    Smarter than I thought. Unlike Megan Fox who only opened her gob to sink her career she opens it – without talking – to advance it. Sadly, that IS the ticket in Hollywood for young fillies. (Obviously, I’m only complaining because I’m not one of the benefiting directors.)

  6. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart The Twilight Saga Breakin Dawn Part 2 Madrid Premiere
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she have to dress like a banana, to stroke his banana. Kinky banana cos-play.

  7. JJ

    I’ll direct her…to my penis. Buh-dum-bum.

  8. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart Taylor Lautner The Twilight Saga Breakin Dawn Part 2 Madrid Premiere
    CIDM
    Commented on this photo:

    have you ever seen a happier bunch??

  9. pavement_smear

    Really, people, why bother?
    “…people come in and out of things all the time…”
    No additional comments are needed.

  10. Man, I see chicks I want to “direct” all the time. Problem is, I don’t have a lucrative movie role to offer them in exchange.

  11. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart The Twilight Saga Breakin Dawn Part 2 Madrid Premiere
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    Perhaps if Affleck changes the name of the movie from “Focus” to “Cars and Automobiles” Stewart will be more interested.

  12. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart The Twilight Saga Breakin Dawn Part 2 Madrid Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I just hope they get pictures of Ben going down on her in the same car Jennifer drops the kids to school in.That would make it extra special.

  13. Cock Dr

    Is Garner really pregnant again?

  14. Jennifer's stank ass jeans

    I didn’t know Ben liked the smell (or taste) of Rupert’s peen.

  15. The Royal Penis

    Yea, Affleck wants to direct her all right…..direct her right on to his penis. *rimshot*

  16. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart The Twilight Saga Breakin Dawn Part 2 Madrid Premiere
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Mitt Romney killed Big Bird.

  17. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart Taylor Lautner The Twilight Saga Breakin Dawn Part 2 Madrid Premiere
    The collective "meh"
    Commented on this photo:

    The guys are having fun, Kristen is having a panic attack.I van tell because she is attempting to change expressions.

  18. Yeah, direct her in the front seat.

  19. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart The Twilight Saga Breakin Dawn Part 2 Madrid Premiere
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “I told you. That’s not where the lips go.”

  20. kery

    she is a joke really , does she have talent? i dunno…….

  21. Sean

    She doesn’t look at all happy around him. My guess is that they’re not back together.

  22. lizbert

    Pregnant with their fourth child? Since when?

  23. JustSaying

    I’ll be serious for a second, would love to see Ben and Kristen together…in a movie that is. ;)

  24. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart The Twilight Saga Breakin Dawn Part 2 Madrid Premiere
    YTBOY
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is it that all these super fantastic beautiful women always have a bored look on their face??

  25. Robert Pattinson Kristen Stewart The Twilight Saga Breakin Dawn Part 2 Madrid Premiere
    CJ
    Commented on this photo:

    What is up with people putting her in or telling her she looks good in all these unflattering, sometimes ridiculous getups?

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