The Black Guy’s Still The President Exactly Like Effeminate People Who Know Math Predicted

November 7th, 2012 // 247 Comments
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Thanks in no small part to Jon Hamm‘s penis stumping in Colorado, Barack Obama and his “Chicago-style politics” were run out of town last night by the American public, except no wait, they weren’t. He was re-elected president to a resounding symphony of white butthurt. So if you’re a Republican who actually thought this was going to turn out differently, here are a few pointers for your party going forward:

1. Minorities and women can vote. I know you just assumed their masters would keep them at home, but somehow they escaped and voted against you, so maybe not shit all over them next election. They’re very crafty.
2. Math wins every time. Even if you call people who use it a faggot, Dean Chambers, you fucking moron, it still exists in this place called reality where facts live. You should visit sometime.
3. Stop saying things like “failed social experiment,” or at least have the balls to say what you really mean which is, “This is what happens when you let a nigger be president.” Also, for the record, what happens is he wins the popular vote again because Americans like his policies and white men are the minority now. (On that note, prepare your women for the “harvesting.” A local member of The New Black Panthers will be by to explain.)
4. Distance yourself from FOX News, Donald Trump and pretty much anyone who thinks rape babies are a gift from God unless he gives you a different gift in the form of a magic secretion that shuts the whole thing down.
5. Mitt Romney didn’t lose because his campaign was “too classy,” he lost because America actually got a glimpse of his true form, and it hates 47% of the population for having the audacity to be poor. You’d just assume that’d be a winning strategy, I know.

All that said, congratulations to Chris Christie in 2016. Because if there’s one thing Americans excel at, it’s voter apathy after four years of economic prosperity. USA!

Photo: Getty


  1. USDA Prime McBeef

    Repubs are gonna have to figure out how to keep the gullible christians voting for them, while at the same time bringing in the moderates that don’t care for draconian legislation and just want this supposed fiscal conservative stuff they keep promising.

    Good luck with that.

    Deacon, somewhere in that 0.36% of write in votes, there is one for the DJ / RJ ticket. 2016. I think you’ve got it in the bag.

    • Somewhere in Minnesota, a Board of Elections official is asking why someone wrote in an old football player.

    • Deacon Jones

      Fucking love it, thanks McBeef. Maybe there is hope for this country after all

    • The thing that amazes those of us outside of the US is the two-party system, in a general sense. Voters are presented with a binary choice on pretty much every issue, as in order to attract voters, each party has to take the opposite stand to the other. While not necessarily promoting extremes on every position, there is a race to take the moderate stand, with the opposing party left to choose one extreme or the other.

      So, are you for gay marriage? The Democrats are, so the Republicans can’t be. Start the race to cast gay marriage as either the saving grace that will set the US apart as a forerunner in civil rights or the straw that will break the social fabric of US culture.

      What about immigration reform? The Republicans are for it, so the Democrats say the system is fine as is. Now who can more quickly demonstrate that unfettered immigration creates a social welfare system that is unsustainable, or that the current immigration policies promote the diversity of the country which, when amortized, will benefit everyone in the long term. And what if, pray tell, these arguments are not even addressing the same issue? No matter, let’s see who can shout them louder.

      The United States of America was once the world’s leader in the advancement of democratic and social rights. Nowadays, it is lagging far, far behind, because the political parties spend too much time campaigning, and not enough governing.

      There are more than two sides to every issue, and the sooner the US realizes it, the sooner it can actually see some progress rather than regress.

      You can have your pulpit back now, Fish.

      • FellaGirl

        I completely agree – the two party system is the downfall of American government. As is the far right, far left views. A moderate has no chance for an actual leader.

  2. Randal

    Congratulations to you, Mr. Obama, for a tough few months against that white guy.


  3. Cock Dr

    That whole process was about 6 billion dollars worth of fun…right? Do ya think that was money well spent? Do the logistics of modern American democracy demand this kind of cash expenditure?
    Please now show us photos of beautiful and wholesome celebrity persons. There must be one or two lying naked on a beach somewhere.

    • Hey, if anything, it got Romney to open up his Swiss and Cayman Bank accounts a little, circulating that money back into the U.S. at a time when we need it.

  4. ThanksIdiots

    Fucked for another four years, thanks all you idiots. As things go from bad to worse, just look in the mirror and say “I caused that !”. Oh but wait, now we have gay marriage, that makes it all better!

    • And actually moron, the Republicans dug the hole. You seem to conveniently forget that. Obama is fixing things as fast as he can while you try to block him at every turn. But it’s still YOUR hole.

      • Mk

        Another blame bush person. There’s a fucking surprise. You will still blame him in 2016

      • Right, right, right. Bush left everything peaches and cream. It was the black guy who practically drove our economy off the cliff.

      • adm.fookbar

        Why’d you have to mention race?

        Its almost as tiresome as “blame Bush,” and those who fight back by suggesting its tiresome to in fact blame Bush.

        Truth is, its a global endevour and none of these people are really doing licketyshit for most of us. Under the opposition, somethings would’ve been better, and somethings will be worse, but in the end, barring one or two spectacular moves on someone’s part (see how non-partisan I’ve said that), its all pretty much the same shit, different day.

        The short of it is we can all hang together as Americans, or hang seperately as Democrats, Republicans, Conservatives, Liberals, Libtards, Tea Baggers, etc etc etc.

        I suggest people begin paying attention beyond the lipservice their chosen ones are saying, to the acts that are happening. And rather than simply blaming the Other Guy(s), realize that its your own fault for not standing up for yourself.

      • Mitch

        The ignorance of the average Obamaton never ceases to amaze me.

      • Candee

        Only surpassed by the idiocy of repubs and their legitimate rapes and what not.

    • JC

      Right now, gay marriage is being approved by a handful of individual states, not the federal government. But don’t let facts get in the way of your ‘tard rage.

    • Whatever

      You’re so welcome! I said the same exact thing back in 2004 except instead of the gay marriage thing happening, I lost my home! Good times.

    • Gay marriage DOES it make it all better! Especially when there’s an open bar.

    • Candee

      Dead auto industry privatized FEMA and Social Security, no access to contraceptives,stuffing gays back in the closet and more tax breaks for the mega wealthy would have been such a better choice.So you know what your welcome

    • Enidaj

      No, thank you, for reminding so many why they didn’t vote for Romney.

    • Sporange

      I think it’s hysterical that you are personally going to be miserable for the next four years and two months. Fantastic justice.

      • Yes, I’m going to be so miserable, now that I will have insurance that doesn’t charge me out the ass because my Type 1 diabetes is a preexisting condition. I’m going to be so miserable now that my brother who I love more than anything in this world might actually be treated like a first class citizen. I’m going to be so miserable if I’m raped, because I might actually have the choice to not have a rape baby. Miserable is exactly the word I’d use.

    • ThanksIdiots

      I’ll say it in another way that maybe you can understand- stupid people make stupid choices. If you could just learn to make your OWN informed decisions and not just parrot what the media wants you to think, you would see what and absolutely awful job Mr. Obama and his party have done for the passed four years. The party in power hasn’t even been able to pass a budget in the last three years (stop gap spending bills do not a budget make). This is the primary function of government. Obama knew what he was getting into when he ran the first time, said he would fix it, he has only made it worse. Why did you all give him a second chance? This isn’t “on the job training”. You are now stuck with a lame duck President with an agenda that he is not being very forthcoming about, and don’t get too excited about that insurance yet, nobody knows what its going to cost or cover, the only thing we do know is that Mr Obama is not subject to it. If it is so great, wouldn’t he be the first person who would want to have it? Again, stupid people make stupid choices.

  5. This is a great day. So happy and so relieved. :D

    • Mitch

      This is a great day!

      I am quitting my job as of friday and on monday morning going straight to the welfare office to sign up for benefits. I’m also going to run up as much debt as I feel like because I now know that is rewarded. All those years of being responsible, paying my bills and using birth control were a waste of time.

      Hope you jackasses enjoy working for my paycheck! And thanks Obama!

      • Mitch, you’re going to be in for a big surprise when you find out that you will have a limit to how long you can collect unemployment thanks to welfare reform enacted by Clinton. Also, good luck qualifying for unemployment in the first place if you quit instead of being fired. You moron.

      • Kodos

        and once again you demonstate you don’t know what’s going on.. Obama has abandoned many of the Clinton-era welfare reforms, such as the work requirement.. just flat out ignores them.

        senseless fuckwit

      • [citation needed]

      • Oh, I missed Kodos’s repeating the “Obama abandoned the work requirement” Romney campaign lie. What really happened was Obama gave states more flexibility and the right to seek Federal waivers in revising work-participation rules—waivers that Mitt Romney himself specifically sought when he was Governor of Massachusetts. But like his statewide universal health care and his pro-choice stance, Romney tried to pretend that never happened (Romnesia!). Because when you can accuse a black president of letting people get welfare checks for nothing again, you don’t give that shit up. Even if the truth gets in the way.

      • Frank Castle

        Yes Obama created welfare… it didn’t exist prior to him. Fucking fuctards.

      • Funny how welfare was put to bed as a hot-button topic after Clinton signed welfare reform in 1996 (yes, under pressure from a Republican Congress)…and then just coincidentally re-emerged in 2008 for no apparent reason. “If Obama’s elected, he’s going to give all my tax money to welfare cases!” But clearly that had nothing to do with race.

      • oh Namr

        Mitt or Obama, guess it doesn’t change the fact that either way, you’re a shitty person.

    • Johnny P!

      Hey Snapple!
      Happy that you’re happy! Have a great day, and an awesome 4 years!

  6. CRC

    Yep, math… Just like the math that proves the current fiscal path we’re on will lead to the collapse of our economy within the next decade.

    • But clearly now is not the time to ask the rich to return to the Clinton-era tax rates. You know…that eight-year period of unprecedented growth.

      1981: Ronald Reagan elected on platform of cutting taxes, increasing defense spending, and balancing the budget. Massive initial tax cut has to be repaired with tax increases twice; leaves office actually tripling the national debt.

      2012: Mitt Romney runs on platform of cutting taxes, increasing defense spending, and balancing the budget. Expects different outcome for some reason. Just enough of the country knows better now.

      • rican

        So where in your insightful analysis do you account for Obama’s policies raising the national debt to $16 trillion? Wait, don’t tell me, it’s Bush’s fault.

      • Well, let’s see…there’s the $1.5T in interest on the debt—or should we default on that and throw America’s credit rating in the toilet like the Tea Party (and therefore, House Republicans) wanted? There’s the two wars Obama inherited—one of them completely unnecessary (Iraq), the other (Afghanistan) unnecessarily prolonged because of all the unnecessary attention and resource shifts we gave to the first war. There’s the recession Bush left us, which did require a stimulus, because as we learned under Herbert Hoover, things get worse not better when the government just stays out of it while the economy craters. Oh, and of course, much of the 2009 deficit spending you and the right ascribe to Obama was actually built into the FY 2009 budget passed under Bush, before Obama was even elected.

        Also, here’s an underappreciated fact: the 2.4% growth in annual spending under Obama is the lowest spending growth by an administration since at least Eisenhower ( Which means that much of the deficit isn’t about overspending so much as it is lower tax returns. Which goes back to the recession. Which goes back to Bush—whose annual spending growth was 7.8%.

      • Awwyeah

        He got you, bro. Well done.

      • TomFrank just nailed CRC & rican’s asses to the wall. Facts trump bullshit.

      • Thanks, Don. But after last night, let’s start looking for a word other than “trump.” Becuase I suspect “to Trump” is going to take on a different meaning soon.

      • rican

        Don, you might be impressed by Tom’s response but if you bother to educate yourself beyond this website you’ll see this is not as simple as black and white. Then again, this is the wrong site to be “deep” in thought.

      • Yeah, I’d much rather listen to the guy who’s just dribbling all over himself in butthurt rage than the guy who actually links to credible sources to support his arguments.

      • rican

        Wow, So Obama really had nothing to do with the $5 trillion increase in debt. Of course he was there to do something about it, but its not his fault. Bottom line, he’s been in power 4 years and failed to lower it. 4 years from now you will still be blaming Bush instead of owning up to it.
        BTW, it’s misleading and a self serving argument to have Obama fail at agreeing on a single budget but then lay claim to the lowest spending increases “since Eisenhower” that were actually enacted by Congress.

      • LOL @ your still trying to peddle that “budgets enacted solely by Congress without any presidential involvement whatsoever” bullshit. Just another example of Republicans saying, “If we don’t get everything what we want, we’re going to hold everything up until our faces turn blue, and then blame YOU for everything that goes wrong.”

      • rican

        Tom, Obama, unlike Clinton, has never cared to “cross the aisle” into bipartisanship. Another self serving argument, Obama moves the goal posts, refuses to negotiate then blames the Republicans for failing to reach agreement. We can go on for days back and forth. Let’s leave it there and see where we are 4 years from now after Obamacare and the tsunami of entitlements explode the deficit.

      • Are you out of your cunting mind? Are you seriously suggesting that the deadlock with Congress was because Obama refused to compromise? Your fucking Republican sweethearts deliberately tried to tank the country in order to keep Obama from getting a second term. Mitch fucking McConnell is on record as saying their biggest priority was to keep Obama from winning re-election.

      • “Don, you might be impressed by Tom’s response but if you bother to educate yourself beyond this website you’ll see this is not as simple as black and white.”

        “Don, I have absolutely no rebuttal to Tom’s facts, so I’ll just pretend that a valid argument actually exists somewhere else and that I just really can’t be bothered to go into it right now. Yes.”

      • rican is officially a troll after that comment about Obama not being willing to cross the aisle.

      • rican

        I apologize, Don, it is true, Obama has an extensive record of bi-partisanhip, all the way back to his senator days. Actually that is what he is known for, his best attribute. You and Tom drink that kool aid like there’s no tomorrow.

      • My kool-aid is grape flavoured!

      • I so want to thumb this up more than once, justi.

      • rican

        I apologize to you too, “justi”. I didn’t know you’re so ignorant that I would have to link to stuff that you are not aware of/don’t understand. I’m sure this is the site where you catch up on current events.

      • Beats getting your “facts” from You know as much about that as you do about bipartisan history.

      • Erob

        whoooooo. TomFrank shut him all the way down. I don’t think anyone could have responded better. EXCELLENT REBUTTLE.

  7. Ewfular Guy

    So much hatred being spewed by the winning side.

  8. Joaquin ingles

    Aw yeah, more secret drone strikes!

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      beat public invasions of sovereignty countries. nobody really cares when a hellfire missile hits a camel square in the ass in buttscratch, pakistan.

    • inorite? Because if Romney had been elected he totally would have stopped the drone strikes, drawn down the military, and declared eternal peace. I mean, it’s not like the Republican Party is full of chickenhawks with heavy ties to the military industrial complex. And I’m sure Romney would have been happy to give up his executive power for the principles of justice and all that.

      Oh, wait…

    • GenYgirl

      Romney agrees with the president here.

      There are plenty of things I don’t like about Obama, but Romney did not differ with him on any of these issues.

      • Joaquin ingles

        Haha. Love how people assume you’re a Romney supporter because you don’t like Obama. Critical thinking.

    • Candee

      The drone attacks would continue no matter who had won.

  9. BlinkyTheFish

    I voted via absentee ballot (out of country) so I didn’t catch any of the fun news commentary. Who on earth said Romney lost because his campaign was too classy? That’s pretty LOLworthy.

  10. USDA Prime McBeef

    I voted for Obama so no one can call me racist for the next four years.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      naw, i’m sure people still will. skin thickness has decreased dramatically over the past decade.

      • Whaddaya mean, “Skin thickness has decreased”? I and the thin-skinned community take offense! What are you, some kind of a … a… a skinnist? HEY HEY, HO HO, SKINNIST HATE HAS GOT TO GO!

  11. Man, the trolls are out in force already, I’d have figured they’d at least get a late start after staying up for the election. Oh well, gives me something to laugh at before I have to hit the grindstone. Lolsauce.

  12. GenYgirl

    Haha, love Nate Silver. He’s the true winner here. All politicians are liars, but I voted for the lesser of two evils. Nate Silver on the other hand is the type of smart person other people should shut the fuck up and listen to. It’s called FACTS, son!

  13. Can I have some Kardashian photos to make fun of now?

  14. Tome

    Cue Republicans screaming about how Obama won because of the black vote, when they’re like 13% of the population.

    • He did win because of the minority vote. Because, well, minorities aren’t minorities anymore. I’m not saying that as a bad thing- I think its a great thing. But facts are, Romney got the highest percentage of the white vote since Reagan’s landslide victory and still lost.

      • Tom

        Okay, true, but the point is that when white conservatives vote Romney it’s because they agree with his policies, when minorities vote Obama it’s also because he’s a minority. Funny how that works out, ‘specially since Obama’s mom is white, but apparently black people vote for him because they’re the same race as him – one drop rule much?

      • “Colored people don’t think when they vote! Only white people use reasoned and informed judgment!” – What you just said

      • Exactly TomFrank. What I was trying to say.

      • Or it could be because of Obama’s policies on immigration, which undoubtedly secured him the growing Hispanic vote. Yes, he is a minority, but he has also been consistently more supportive of minority groups, such as the LGBT community, immigrants, women’s reproductive rights, etc. You are making a statement that can’t at all be supported because it is just conjecture, and it’s a pretty racist statement.

      • I was agreeing with TomFrank and telling Tom he was a retard and racist for saying what he said.

      • Tom

        You really read my comment and thought that I was agreeing with conservatives who scream about Obama being a filthy atheist socialist Muslim? Christ, our schools really are fucked.

      • I’m pretty sure we read your comment and thought you were a racist. Which you are. If either of us thought the rest of that stuff, well…excuse us for confusing you with those other racists out there. You’re different, obviously. You’re the good racist.

      • Tom

        Yeah, saying that shitloads of Republicans have deluded themselves into thinking that everyone voting for Obama is either a minority or is only doing it because of white guilt (as opposed to Mittens being a terrible candidate) is totally racist.

      • It looked like he was speaking sarcastically to me, if you stripped the sarcasm away it reads like this: “So white folks claim that when they vote for Romney, it’s because they’re voting on policy and not because they’re racist fuckheads. But these people also claim that black folks are voting for Obama just because he’s black.”

        Then again, I could be wrong.

      • Yes, I realize that now, but it was hard to gauge the sarcasm. People like me and TomFrank often use sarcasm, yet we were unable to detect his, which should tell you something. I get it now, and maybe I am slow, as when I read back it does seem sarcastic- but only after I know it’s sarcasm. Duly noted.

      • If that first post of his—wait, was he also “Tome”? then second post—was meant to be sarcasm, then I and I suspect most everyone else missed it.

      • Tom

        Yeah, I misspelled my name at first, and worded stuff poorly. Mornings and all that.

        I’ve been reading and listening to whiny Reps who want it both ways: according to them Obama won because the black and Latino voters (maybe 25% of the country at most?) went for him because he, the half-white half-black dude, is “one of them”. But according to these same people THEY voted for Romney because of his “business skills” (running a business means you can magically fix the economy), not because he’s the white dude running against a guy with a black dad and an ethnic name.

        The contradictory bullshit is only funny until you realize there’s millions of Americans who seriously believe that type of shit.

      • rican

        Tom, Its funny how you create in your mind what republicans will think to then criticize it and elevate yourself. If there’s a republican stupid enough to think what you say, he’s in the same minority as the democrat idiots that were ready to blame Obama’s loss on racism.
        Are you that stupid or do you work hard at it?

      • Tom

        I just listen to what conservative pundits say for laughs. They’re the ones trying to be stupid.

  15. mismy

    I thought I would wake up today with a sense of relief that Psychopath A wasn’t elected. Unfortunately my day started with the same uneasy feeling as any other because Psychopath B is still running things. But he is certainly the better choice still, idiot fucking Republicans- Mitt Romney?? C’mon. I really hope we stop hearing the words “handouts” and “socialism” for fucks sake and focus on what’s actually happening in the world. Obama DOES have some smart & progressive ideas, and much more sane people surrounding him than the neocons. That’s something I guess…? Please don’t bomb Iran you twits.

  16. The Republican party needs a serious makeover– at least we can all agree on that. Pandering to the white man isn’t going to win an election ever again.

    Maybe, just maybe, EVOLVING would be a good thing to do to even have a chance. Obama won reelection even though his economy sucked, which never happens. (And btw, I voted for him, but it was a last minute decision).

    Why did I vote for him? Because I couldn’t bring myself to vote for someone that would move our country backwards. Maybe, hopefully, the Republican party will evolve on social issues so that someone like me can vote for them. Because while yes, the economy is important, it is also important to me that my child grows up in a country where people aren’t treated differently because of their sexual orientation, nation of origin, color, or sex organs.

    America is changing. Jump on board, Republicans, or get left behind.

    • Don’t be alarmed, but if the Republicans stick to their usual primogeniture playbook—the runner-up from the last contested primary gets to be the nominee the next time around—then we can look forward to a Santorum nomination in 2016. Fun, fun, fun.

      • That would be an absolutely terrible decision for the Republican party. Someone who actually didn’t want separation of church and state will never be elected. But they are that dumb, so maybe itll happen.

    • Tom

      Maybe I’m cynical but I honestly dunno if much will change until the Baby Boomers start dying off. Call me crazy, but I feel like the hardline conservatives will rationalize this away and vote in droves for another guy who sold his soul to Wall Street in 2016.

      Of course, Texas is projected to go blue within the next 8 years, so there’s hope that we can start pulling America towards being a civilized nation again.

      • I think that the young, fresh meat in the Republican party will steer them in the right direction. They know their peers, and they know that America is evolving. Romney lost the minority vote, and the country is going to be even more blended in 2016. Something must be done.

      • Tom

        We can hope. Like I said, cynical asshole, me, etc.

  17. FattyFatty2X4

    Fish, Fish, Fish
    Your’e not one of those Whitey’s who feels guilty about being white are you?
    Did you let Hollywood program you to believe all straight, white, american men are evil?
    Still luv u tho bud!

    • Mary Feeney

      That Fish suffers from the pathological condition known as “white guilt” has been evident for years here.

  18. =)))

    ACTUALLY Mitt Romney had more votes than Obama. The electoral college picked Obama NOT American citizens.

    • Tom

      Sorry, Obama actually won the popular vote by about 2 million. Reality and its pesky liberal bias, right?

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      might wanna double check that. even fox news says obama won the popular vote.

    • Candee

      Obama won the popular vote as well

    • I’m sure your lovely land of ignorance is more appealing than the real world, but Obama won the popular vote by 2 million. The electoral college, while retarded, did speak for Americans this time.

    • Even if he lost the popular vote…so did President Bush. Remember? Back then all of you were all, “Doesn’t matter, losers! It’s the Electoral College that counts!” Funny how you change your tune when it’s your ox being, um, gored.

  19. YoMamma

    I’m a minority woman and I voted for Romney so don’t speak for me, Fish. .

    • jac0b22

      He’s not speaking for you dear, he’s speaking to you. Elementary reading comprehension, it’s like math, eh?

      • YoMamma

        No, he’s speaking to Republicans “who actually thought this would turn out differently” and I never thought that for a second. I went out and cast my vote in a very blue state simply to cancel out a vote in favor of Obama.

        But, you’re right, I’m a moron because I don’t agree with you.

      • What he is trying to say is that he never spoke “for” you, he spoke “to” you. He never claimed to speak for anyone. The point he is trying to make is that more minorities AND women voted for Obama, and you can’t win the presidency losing those two groups. Obviously, that was proven.

      • jac0b22

        Well, you did prove my point twice, so there’s that math again.

      • jac0b22

        Wow, you Republican fucktards are so negative. Sucks that you’re losers too.

      • YoMamma

        Clearly, I can’t debate with someone of your superior mental capacity. You are just too brilliant and I am a ‘fucktard.’ Way to keep it classy.

      • Clearly, someone who doesn’t agree with Romney but voted for him simply to cancel out a vote in favor of Obama isn’t someone who’s going to be capable of debate on an average intelligence level anyway, let alone with someone of a “superior mental capacity”.

        Your inability to comprehend the difference between “speaking to” and “speaking for” speaks (sorry) for itself. Even though you acknowledge in your next post that Fish is indeed speaking TO “a Republican who actually thought this was going to turn out differently”, you still don’t realize that even if you’re not that type of Republican, that still doesn’t mean Fish is “speaking for you”.

        If the fucktard fits, wear it.

    • You should be ashamed of yourself then. Romney had nothing to offer women or minorities. Only the top 1% would’ve benefited from him winning.

      • YoMamma

        Yes, you’re right – I should be ashamed for thinking for myself and not just voting with the sheep of the same color. I don’t agree with everything Romney had to offer, but I vehemently disagree with Obama’s policies. I will not be bullied into voting for him simply because of race or because a celeb tells me he’s the cool choice.

      • Who brought colour into this? Is that the comfort you’ve given yourself to explain why Obama won? whatever helps you sleep at night.

        You should be ashamed of yourself for voting for a corporate vulture who would reverse all the progress made in the past 50 years as far as women’s rights go. He wants to overturn Roe v. Wade, he wants to cut the funding to planned parenthood. You voted against your gender and your own physical well being.

        He was against all of the things Obama did that saved the economy from going further down the shitter. He was against saving the American auto industry. He was against bailing out the banks and he was against the stimulus. Those things slowed the freefall the economy was in and led to the saving of some thousands of jobs You voted for that guy. It’s your right to vote for whomever you choose, but you were wrong on this one. Good thing more people had better sense than you did.

  20. swalton

    “And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling minorities, women and gays!” – Mitt Romney

  21. What’s this, now? There was a presidential election in the US?

    Ha ha… I’m just kidding. I’ve totally been spending the last few months laughing about the “erectoral college”.

  22. achilles wrath

    As an outsider (non-us) this has been fun to watch. The real surprise is people honestly thought Romney, Johnson or Paul could get elected. Deacon here had more chance than all of them put together.

  23. Fuck Yeah!!! We have sent that fucking lurch back to hell along with a few of his minions and cut the balls off of Citizens United,now we just have to wait for the Do-Nothing Republican Congress to sit on their ass’s for another two years and we will have that too in 2014…

  24. Schmidtler

    Stick to the dick jokes and bikini photos, politics is not your strong suit fish.

  25. Deacon Jones

    Well, if the GOP couldnt win this election, they’ve got some serious looking in the mirror to do. I mean, the Repubs I know were foaming at the mouth over this one, and they still lost.

    What does this tell us about our current state of affairs? A couple things:

    1. The percentage of independents has exploded. This goes to show me that a third party can , and should, emerge.

    2. Republicans cannot continue to align themselves with crazed Evangelicals and the like that think the Earth is 6,000 years old and that “Intelligent Design” should be taught in SCIENCE class. However, the folks on Fox News last night were saying Romney lost because he was too moderate and wasn’t “extreme” enough. Got it!

    3. While gay marriage and legalization of pot may still be great hot button topics to fire up the GOPs slowly dying base, it simply doesn’t appeal to a majority of young voters. Period.

    4. Practice what you preach. The GOP continually harps on conservative spending and budgets, yet ever GOP president since Nixon has left this country in more of a fiscal crisis than when they entered office.

    5. Stop attacking education and the sciences. I know, I know, educated people are more likely to vote Democratic. But why is that, exactly?

    6. Stop attacking the middle class. The main thing that built this country in the 40s, 50s, and 60s is the middle class. Yet unions, pensions, workers’ rights are all demonized by the right while exportation of labor and manufacturing is trumpeted.

    and 7. Stop rallying against gay rights and then getting caught taking it up the ass, playing footsies in bathrooms, or hiring male prostitutes in Thailand.

    • Number 7 is amazing. And you are completely right on all counts. They are hitching their wagon to a dying group of people. America is evolving and accepting people with differences.

    • Wow, this was actually impressive, DJ. One thing though: that third party you want probably won’t make it until we have some electoral reform that includes preferential voting like the Australians have—or that AMPAS uses for Best Picture voting now that it’s as many as ten nominees and they want to insure that the winner has a majority of votes behind it. Otherwise, too many people will continue to worry that their third-party vote will detract from the more amenable (or less repugnant) major-party candidates. Kind of like how Republicans still propagate the myth that Perot stole enough votes away from Bush the Elder to put Clinton into office. (Not true, Perot took votes fairly evenly from both sides, according to the exit polls.)

  26. Tom

    Conservatives crying about this and talking to moving to Canada or Europe never stops being funny. I’m sure that they’ll be so much happier with the government in I dunno, Finland or Britain or somewhere.

    • Enidaj

      Canada is full.

      • jac0b22

        Honestly, Romney-bots can stay the fuck out of Canada. It’s not a fucking doormat.

      • I hear Saudi Arabia’s got room. Hey, it’s a moral, faith-based government where the clergy make the laws; they execute the women if they’re raped, so there’s none of those embarassing “legitimacy” and contraception issues to make them sorry they paid some classmate to take their biology final for them; and most of their corporations have relocated next door in Dubai, anyway.

    • Shawnamarieanne

      Move to Canada or Europe? But, but, but, those countries – they are – uh, – socialist!

  27. Kodos

    fewer people voted than in ’08… neither Obama nor Romney got as many of their party’s vote.

    sometimes dead cats bounce, sometimes they go splat.. which will we do?

    you had hard leftist vs Democrat-lite… not surprised very much.

    Enjoy the ride, you fools!

    • Wow…I know this is a troll comment, but still, any sort of claim that anything in this election came anywhere close to being anything resembling “hard left” is simply laughable.

    • Pretty sure all of the votes haven’t been tallied yet. There are still absentee votes to be opened (or even delivered!), provisional Sandy votes to factor in, and I think they’re still counting in some places. You may be right about less turnout—which might have been a Sandy-displacement thing—but hold your fire for the time being.

  28. Armand

    Totally awesome isn’t it. Well at least you can say the Prez smoked pot so you can to. Of course you probably can’t smoke weed because you have no job, gas is 4 bucks a gallon & food prices keep going up and we each owe $218,000 in debt. But hey that MItt Romney guy was sooooo evil right? Plus Jay Z loves Obama, yeah that fills my wallet.

    • Pretty sure gas is about the same as it was right before the economy crashed in 2008 and gas prices followed suit—unless you wanted the economy to get even worse just so gas prices could be just as depressed. Also, where was this concern about debt when Bush the Younger was having commit nearly $2 trillion (in present and future projected expenses) on an unnecessary war in Iraq? Of the $6 trillion in deficit spending in the last four years, do you realize that $1.5 trillion alone went to pay the interest on the $10 trillion debt Obama inherited, a debt racked up almost entirely by Republican presidents because it was a Democratic president, Bill Clinton, who was the only president to balance the budget in the last 40+ years? Oh, yeah, your anger is well-directed.

  29. Johnny P!

    Mitt could’ve won so easily, but he didn’t appeal to the common denominator. Economy, whatever. Foreign policy, yeah right. Smaller government, who cares?
    A simple:
    “If elected president, I will ensure the fat-ass talentless bitch who likes getting pissed on and her entire fame-whore clan will be exiled to a small island where NO cameras are allowed… the alcoholic, coke snortin’ former ‘actress’ who’s become a kleptomaniac ‘death on wheels’ has-been is going to be doing some hard time in solitary… the black dude who beat and bit his girlfriend will be put in stocks in Times Square for 3 days straight (bring your eggs and rotten veggies) before he’s incarcerated… and while I promise tax cuts for the rich, the Hilton clan will be paying an unprecedented 65% in taxes until they take care of a certain global embarassment member of their kin. This I pledge.”
    He would’ve won by a landslide.

  30. Everyone knows that the majority of people weren’t happy with Obama, but they still voted for him. Why? because Romney is completely unrelateable. His color, his wealth, his gender, everything about him relates him to a smaller and smaller group of people. Yes, 47% aren’t going to vote for him because they don’t understand him, and they don’t think he understands them.

    • Fun Fact: The highest concentration of the 47% are in the Deep South, Texas, Florida (because of all the retirees), Idaho, Utah, and New Mexico. It comes to eleven states, and nine of them are dark, dark red.

    • Also, Meg, after reading all your posts now, I feel like if we knew each other in real life, we’d be having post-election victory sex right now.

      • I was going to say the same thing to her. Too bad I’m not in America.

      • USA! USA! USA!

      • I agree Tom! Too bad in my house AND my line of work (as a financial analyst) I am so outnumbered that I keep my mouth shut. So, I come here to talk to you guys because you listen to me without making me feel like I’m just a dumb young liberal. Nobody wants to listen to me because they think I’m dumb, but I really can debate with the rest of them :) Love you TomFrank & DonZaloog!

  31. Mike

    I love how he gets the popular vote and somehow we white people get called racist. He can win all the minority votes and he wouldn’t win unless white people voted for him. So you can stop with the racist BS right now.

    Where exactly is it written that the Republican party hates minorities and women when they have minorities and women in the party? If you want to point out to stupid comments made by idiot Republicans then I point out to you idiotic comments made by Democrats. Shit goes both ways.

    Let’s go ahead and stop with the Romeny money bashing too. News flash; all politicians have money. When has it become a crime to have money?

    If you want to generalize the Republicans, make sure your precious Democrats are fucking perfect little angels.

    • Leila

      Where is it written that Republicans hate minorites? Have your read ANY of their fucking platform? If you’re expecting it to be written out in neon letters, sure, you win. But if you see their position on every fucking issue that disproportionally and adversely affects minorties and women, you would realize just how ridiculous you sound. I am sure you think minorities and women are just letting other people tell them where to vote instead of realizing that being white does not make you a victim and you should maybe take the time to figure out why so many women and minorities feel that the GOP is not on their side.

    • YoMamma

      Yep, Republicans are all racist, homophobic, sexist, rich, Bible thumpers while Democrats are the Robin Hoods who steal from the evil rich and give to the poor downtrodden souls. If you disagree with any part of that, you are a moron. See above.

      • jac0b22

        You’re also a moron if your candidate, having lost, changes his name from Romney, to “Romeny.” Or more accurately, if his so-called supporters can’t even spell his name. Way to go Mike! Hope you got your vote in to cutting funding to education initiatives.

      • YoMamma

        Yep, only Republicans make typos! He’s got ya there… BURN.

    • You’re right, the shit flows both ways. But notice how much more and easier the shit flows on one side. (Hint: not the Democratic side.)

    • Mike,

      Unfortunately the argument you make about women and minorities being part of the Republican party is irrelevant. By way of analogy: you know that person, any woman or man, who makes a racist comment and defends her- or himself by saying “I’m not racist, by best friend is black!” Well, you can be both racist and have a black best friend; the two things are not exclusive of one another.

      I agree that the money thing should not be an issue, unless and until it begins to impede someone’s ability to make reasonable judgments. Mitt Romney was born into privilege, and his stories about “hard times” relate to when he was a student; however, he was a student at Harvard doing a law degree and MBA. That is unlikely to be the type of hardship that any of us can relate to. And none of this is to take away from the fact that the President has his own issues with being relateable; his professorial tone and someone dismissive manner with the press has been off-putting to a great number of voters.

      The final issue I take with your comment is the statement that there has to be assurance that one’s party is perfect before attacking the other. I cannot agree with that any less. Surely you know that the “legitimate rape” and other comments by certain Republican party members were nearly-universally derided by other members of the Republican party. They reflect the opinions of the individuals and not necessarily the party; that’s fine. However, the Democratic party and its supporters are entirely within their rights to point to those persons and the views they espouse and say “this is not an acceptable view for any person to hold, no matter how limited in number, and no matter what party”. The Republicans, meanwhile, are entirely free, and in fact encouraged, to do the same. The difficulty the party has faced is that the absurdity of comments made by certain Republican candidates bordered on insanity, but rather than responding with effective damage control to distance itself from those candidates, the party opted to respond by attacking. Optically, it sends mixed messages: the GOP does not agree with the comments, but does not worry or care enough about them to do something drastic about it internally.

      • Shawnamarieanne

        When todd atkins are other republican idiots talked about legitimate rape and rape babies being God’s will, or called women on the pill “ho’s” wanting to have s@x how did Mitt Romney respond? Did he come out to say, these guys have crossed over the line of decency? Did he say stop this nonsensical talk. Don’t vote for that guy and the Republican Party needs to replace that loose canon? Or did he say, “uh, oh well. Vote for todd atkins and his ilk anyway??” I earn over 250k a year. I will probably have to pay more taxes with Obama. But I’d rather pay more taxes than live in a society where the ruling party thinks that single women are HO’s for simply taking the pill. BTW – it’s always the women who are Ho’s right, never that the men are equally sluts in the rethuglican lexicon.

  32. GetOverIt

    Does it really matter what puppet figurehead leader is President? And really, you’re wasting your time arguing with each other over the internet. Even if you provide valid points; it is like winning the Special Olympics. Sure you came in 1st, but your still fucking retarded! Big Money runs our Government the same way it runs our economy. Everyone who latched onto the “47% comment” is a member of the 47%. Those that have careers and contribute have known about that same 47% as long as we have been able to look at our payroll deductions. Anyone who got asshurt by that bullshit should get some thicker skin. Now ultimately let’s get back to what we come to this website for; titties. 100% of Americans love those.

    • “Does it really matter what puppet figurehead leader is President?”

      Uh…yeah, actually, it does kind of matter. The fact that politicians are beholden to money doesn’t change the fact that they still affect policy in different ways.

      Also, yeah, if you’re against the idea of arguing on the internet, why precisely are you here being argumentative?

      • GetOverIt

        Argumentative? Not sure I follow. What I am pretty sure about is that this website is full of bullshit; albeit funny, sex driven bullshit, but bullshit none the less. You really came to the superficial expecting to change someone’s political views? Personally I am here to see what laws Lindsey broke today or what poor commuter has had a run in with Amanda Bynes. Mix that in with a few shots of boobs and ass, and I call it a pretty productive Wednesday. If I wanted political banter I would be doing work on this work computer. Bring on the bullshit! Smile everybody, at least we are not Canada; bunch of hockey puck chunking pansies… ‘MERKA!

      • *shrugs* Yeah, argumentative. As in, right now, you arguing with me. The difference is that I’m not criticizing people for doing exactly what I’m doing. I like boobs and celebrity fuckups as much as the next guy, but I also like yelling at people about politics, so I do that too. If you don’t like it, why are you here? There are plenty of other gossip sites that are less politically charged, and this is far from the first time Fish has dealt with politics.

        I guess if you honestly feel that arguing is a waste of time (although how it’s less productive that reading about the Kardashians is beyond me) that’s your business; though I would wonder why you would engage in it if you are opposed to the idea…

  33. AC

    I have been on this website for years but I will no longer support a website that takes part in partisan politics. You are a celebrity blogger get over your self. I do not know how much you know about politics but I know that if you want to support certain political ideas or candidates then you should put that on a political/news website not on a website about superficial vanities.

    That being said I am an intelligent college educated woman who voted for Romney and I think it is horrible that I feel I am attacked everywhere I turn. America is supposed to be about freedom and tolerance and unfortunately all i have seen is the antithesis of what I believe makes America great. I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal and if you think that is stupid, then I respect your opinion but this is not the correct forum to advocate for particular political opinions and parties.

    • cc

      AC ‘I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal and if you think that is stupid’ that pretty much describes me as well but I have to confess if I was an American I’d have voted for Obama. Frankly, my choice would have been less about Mitt than about the loony fringe of the Republican party (Akin et al).

      And I don’t think you are stupid.

    • Fish is a blogger, he can blog what he chooses. You may not agree, but that’s freedom of speech. He’s a sarcastic, satirical writer about a multitude of things.

    • “America is supposed to be about freedom and tolerance…but this is not the correct forum to advocate for particular political opinions and parties.”

      Translation: “Freedom, schmeedom—let me tell you how you should run your own blog, because I don’t like seeing opinions that differ from my own when I’m trawling for celebrity gossip and barely clad titties, and I’m too sensitive to just skip over the political posts to get to what I want. Which, again, titties.”

    • kylethegirl

      AMEN. Check out my comment at the bottom of the page- pretty close to the same thing you said… Just with a few more swear words haha. I’ve been heated all morning.

    • “I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal…”
      So, by choosing to vote for Romney, you have decided NOT to honor half of your proclaimed self-identity. I can only deduce that money is more important to you than your own morality.

    • lala

      “I have been on this website for years but I will no longer support a website that takes part in partisan politics. ”

      Sorry, but it took you YEARS to figure out this website has a political slant? I’ve been on this website for a lot less longer than “years” and I feel like politics has been shoved into my face fairly often. But, I enjoy reading the comments. And Fish is laugh out loud funny sometimes.

      And if it really bothered me, I definitely wouldn’t have taken time out to write a two paragraph comment about how I dislike politics being discussed on a gossip site… and then proceed to give my own political opinions, but hey, that’s just me.

      • I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the people who say they object merely to the idea of their guilty-pleasure celebrity-gossip blog’s espousing political opinions are by and large opposed to those political opinions themselves, and not the violation of separation of tits/dick jokes and state. If Fish toed their conservative line, they’d be perfectly fine with it; in fact, they’d probably enjoy chortling at “all those whiny liberals here upset at Fish for being a true American.” Or however they’d put it. I only have an intermediate degree in right-wing-speak.

  34. cc

    It won’t happen but it would be wonderful if Donald Trump was struck permanently dumb by this turn of events.

  35. O.o

    aaah american elections…
    it’s like voting for a sockpuppet or a … sockpuppet

    ;P i do like obama though he seems like the kind of guy who’d buy you a beer while romney would just point and say “hey look there” then while you turn youre head he’ll get up and run away to stick you with the bill

  36. Leila

    Just so fucking happy that I live in a country where more than half of the population is not fucking clueless and stupid. You haters can blame it on laziness or socialism all you want [although I do wish you would open a fucking dictionary once in a while] but me and my $250k and above making friends are THRILLED to take a small hit so that men don’t control a woman’s body, so that civil rights are extended to everyone, not just a select few, and so that we have an uber-intelligent, hard working, awesome president attack the massive problems we are facing for the good of the ENTIRE country, not just the top 1% [obviously, I think trickle down is horseshit].

  37. alex

    I think we are fucked. People on both sides are so sure THEIR side is right. It reminds me of religion, “my super secretive, invisible deity is the one true god and your invisible, take-it-on-faith god is a not!!!” Lets start a fight over it!”

    You jackasses need to realize the first term screwed us for the next 20 years. And it might have truly been unavoidable anyway…a massive meltdown or a massive debt. Nothing BO (or Mitt) can do in a second term to save us from financial meltdown. BO was a big disappointment in many areas and a rock star in other areas…but its irrelevant. There is literally no way to return to prosperity with the debt and deficit we are currently carrying. Congrats dems on a hollow victory and congrats republicans on having someone else to blame over the next 4 years for the massive sinkhole we are already in.

    My vote was/is for this site remaining about tits and ass.

    • You can always tell someone doesn’t like the president when he calls him “BO.” It’s like in that British mini-series “House of Cards” where the tabloid headlines waggingly referred to Prime Minister Francis Urquhart as “F.U.”

      • alex

        Not so Tom. I like our president. I also liked Mitt Romney. I truly believe they both want the best for America and neither is the devil as both sides would have you believe of the other.

        BO is easier to type quickly. Just like Mitt is easier than writing Romney. I wouldn’t read too much into that. Try reading all the words that surround the initials for what I really think.

      • Okay. But still…you know what “B.O.” used to signify, right?

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        the real idiots say, “Barack HUSSEIN Obama”

      • TomFrank, you might very well think that; I couldn’t possibly comment.

      • Wow, justi, I thought I was the only American who remembers that series.

        BTW, where’ve you been all day? Halfway through, I realized I was writing the kind of detailed-argument posts that are really your specialty.

      • Dude, you’ve been fucking magnificent ALL DAY, so I can’t regret that I’ve been so ass-deep in work for the past few that it kept me from putting a bit of stick about. Kudos – the fact that you know “House of Cards” just makes me wanna add more thumbs up to your posts than I have already.

  38. Grace

    The Republicans were too good for Ron Paul. Now they can have a seat and watch what their arrogance is going to get them.
    Obama is a sociopath with a winning smile and no one is going to recognize it until the 19 to 25′s suit up and head to war with Israel. Wait for it.

    • Right. Ron Paul was the Republicans’ best shot at the White House. For all that Democrats and the left have given Mitt Romney this year, I think I can say that we will at least concede that he had the best shot and was the least crazy of all the declared Republican candidates this year. Oh, wait—Jon Huntsman. Well, that was never going to happen.

    • Tom

      Ron Paul? You mean that racist old guy who seriously believes in the gold standard, is chummy with white supremacists, and gets a bunch of dumb college kids to vote for him because they think he’ll legalize pot?

  39. kylethegirl

    Such ignorance. Some of us Republicans would just like an economy that’s not thrashing in cold water trying not to drown. The guy has driven the national debt through the ceiling and cannot STILL be blaming shit on Bush. I’m a woman, I like my rights, but I also appreciate a man in office who knows how to manage money, NOT slaughter our defenses, and can start driving this country out of the fucking gutter.

    I don’t hate the poor, fuck, I’m 25 and had to move back in with my parents so I’m HARDLY one to hate on those without heavy cash flow. I don’t hate gays, I would love for them to all have the right to marry. And I would be extremely upset if my rights to govern my own body were taken away from me. But for this election, my priorities were with the economic issues, not the social- because none of it’s going to matter when gas is $10 a gallon and there are no more jobs.

    I’m sick of people generalizing Republicans into a group of ‘white butthurt’ assholes who hate the poor. Fuck me for not wanting to live under the rule of a man who’s done nothing but sit on his thumb, toss around blame, refuse to take responsibility or make ANY of the changes he’d alleged he would when he took office four years ago.

    If Obama can ACTUALLY do what he alleged he would four years ago, and can reduce the national debt while creating jobs and not slashing them, I will be the first one to say you were right. Do I think he can or will? No. I’d love for him to prove me wrong. But for the most part, I’m sick of people treating me like my views are from the stone-age and that I’m a rich homophobe who thinks women should be living under rocks. Fuck your generalizations, they’re TIRED.

    • Sorry, but it does still go back to Bush. He really wrecked our economy, and it will take longer than four years to turn things around—especially with Republicans saying no to everything that has even a hint of tax increases. (I particularly liked how Romney and Ryan rejected the Simpson-Bowles Commission’s recommendations, and then pilloried President Obama for not adopting those recommendations himself.) I don’t recall the country rejecting FDR because he couldn’t turn things all the way back around after four years, but we didn’t expect instant gratification back then.

      Obama has actually been taking this country “out of the fucking gutter” that it fell into. Maybe you’re still in it, and I’m sorry for you, but things ARE better than they were when Bush left office, and they’re certainly better than they would have been had we kept going with Republican policies and let Detroit go bankrupt and not bailed anyone out and not injected stimulus money—which, by the way, most economists agree should have been larger to have gotten our economy back on track sooner. But that would not have been politically feasible.

      If you check, President Obama has not “slashed” jobs, but has overseen job creation over his term. Almost the entirety of the job losses during his presidency came at the beginning of his term as the recession he inherited continued. I suppose you want to blame him for those losses, but, no, the president can not just snap his fingers and turn the economy on a dime right when he’s inaugurated.

      I, too, hope President Obama can actually do what he wants to do. I only hope that this time around Republicans don’t block everything with the attitude, in the words of Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell, “Our top political priority…should be to deny President Obama a second term.” Not to fix the economy, not to make things better, but to play politics.

      • Poor kyle, sounds like you haven’t been paying attention. You talk a good game, and I’m sorry for your situation, but when it comes time to place the blame for it where it belongs, you refuse to. Why? Because the person who the blame falls on is one of your own. The last republican POTUS. You need to get real.

  40. AndyDufresne

    I want my Obama Phone NOW!

    • Tom

      Yeah, how fucking dare poor people have phones! Did you know most of them have refrigerators too? Entitled shits.

  41. All I know is I get the massive gridlock that I love. No legislation happening in this lame duck session. Going to be hard to go Forward with the national parking break on. I love it.

  42. Where's The Funny?

    I didn’t know Fish was black. Way to ruin what used to be a funny column. I won’t be back.

  43. RomneyVotersStillBetterOff

    None of this matters anyways. The hard working people who pay taxes will still be responsible and able to support themselves. Sure, their taxes may rise some but in the end they will still be in control of their own destiny. The freeloaders on the other hand will always live a crappier life filled with insecurity, fear, and dependence. Romney voters may have lost the election but will always win at life compared to Obama voters. Life sucks when you have to depend on the government, you are truly never free.

    • Where's The Funny?

      Wow! I work 60-80 hrs a week and get disgusted by lazy freeloaders, but I hadn’t thought of it in this simple way. THANKS, you truly made me feel better about trying to make it through the next 4 years (and continuing to hide my money under the bed).

    • Arlene

      That’s kinda funny considering every republican I know is in a shit-load of debt and has little savings. That doesn’t include the ones that are part of the 47%.

  44. Good work, America. There’s hope for you yet. Now Obama can continue what he started, saving America from financial ruin. It’s not going to be easy, the republicans will try to shut down everything he does, but I believe he’ll come through in the end.

    No republican should hold office until the radically change their policies. See Deacon Jones’ post for the ideal future for republicans.

    • Keep holding your breath for that one party Soviet system you guys dream about. The opposition is not going anywhere. You guys can believe all you want that your opposition is the cartoon portrait that Deacon panted, but the reality is mush more complicated. It is easy to make free promises happen like legal marriage and weed. It is much more difficult to provide healthcare, end poverty, and police the world all with no money. Have fun.

      • * haha I wrote mush.

      • Arlene

        I hear Deacon pants often when viewing a bikini post.

      • You’re absolutely right Liam. But we already know who is for those things that we want.

        One side is for health care for everyone, the ability to marry the person you love even if they happen to be the same gender as you, cares about the poor, cares about education, which in turn can keep people out of poverty.

        The other side is for Bible thumping, destroying the unions and middle class, teaching creationism in science class, policing your sex life, and a general contempt for people not of their own skin colour or income bracket.

        The democrats sure as hell aren’t perfect, but look at the alternative. Democrat all the way.

      • I love you, Don Zaloog!

  45. Julietin

    This is the most brilliant post I have seen today’ and the best analysis of why these clowns lost a woman who has voted republican before I was offended by these party has been taken over by racist, ignorant assholes and that makes me so sad

  46. blahblah

    I think everyone needs to have a sense of humor about things, but someone needs to tell this guy obama did NOT win the popular vote. romney actually did.

  47. Michelle O

    If Ohblamer thinks he inherited a mess last time ….wait till he sees what he has now. BUSINESS HATES THIS GUY. DOW JONES WORST DAY OF THE YEAR.

    • Actually, now that the uncertainty is over, it will improve. The market has been affected recently mostly because businesses aren’t doing much because they don’t know the affect of what they will do. Now that Obama won they know. It’ll take time but it’ll happen.

    • lala

      Aw, that’s cute. Michelle calls her husband “Ohblamer”?

      People can be really creative sometimes. I wish my name had such nickname potential… Obozo, Ohblamer, Odumbo, OhI’mTwoYearsOldAndCallPeopleNamesBecauseThat’sHowYouWinArguments.

  48. abc

    Yes, women and minorities can vote…people who actually PAY the taxes have no shot. Congratulations to the 47%.

    • Devilish Diva

      Hey, ABC:
      (ABC must be the measure of your rudimentary intelligence)
      Guess what? I’m a woman and an ethnic minority who owns her own home and business. Guess what else? I’m not even 30 yet.
      I’m middle-class and I work damn hard. You better believe I don’t want to pay more taxes so multi-millionaire and billionaire figurative (and possibly literal) “legitimate” rapists can get tax breaks to fund their lavish lifestyles. Congratulations to all hardworking common-sense Americans.
      USA, USA, USA!!!

    • Again, where the 47% are concentrated: (scroll down to the bottom for the map). Notice how almost all of those dark states went for Romney.

    • Ironically, since Romney hasn’t actually paid taxes for about 13 years, that statement’s true – he didn’t have a shot.

      Your moronic assumption that “women [women? rlly?] and minorities” don’t pay taxes while ignoring the fact that the chairman of GE probably pays less to the IRS than any of us is why your idiotic, blinkered, pig-ignorant party of fuckwits deserved to lose. Continue looking in the wrong direction and blaming the wrong people for the ongoing collapse of the middle class – it beats having to actually work at comprehending the real issue.

  49. who cares

    using your site to promote your own political agenda? shame on you.

    • Ripley's Believe It Or Not

      Noone put a gun to your head and forced you to read something that, featuring a big a picture of Obama as it did, was clearly politically inclined.

    • Yes, how dare he use his business to help his political agenda! No businesses do that!

      (whispers: superpacs…)

      • Jesse

        Atleast Superpacs..(and there are democrat ones also) use donations and not forced dues..

        (whispers: unions…)

  50. howcanlibsbesogullible

    wow..for being such a witty writer, this guy sure is a fucking dumb ass. Romeny hates 47% of Americans? Really? The guy gives more to charity in a year than most people make in their lives.

    It saddens me that so many people fall for leftists propaganda. Just goes to show how fucking ignorant and mentally challenged so many leftists really are. They claim to be intellectuals but they are really the lowest common denominator when it comes to brains.

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