Apparently, I just need to visit Canada and England and all my lonely penis problems will be solved. To Travelocity, bitches!
re: Kim Kardashian Destroyed Mariah Carey's Marriage (15 comments)
Haha! You think they had sex.
DON’T GET ON THAT FLIGHT!
I will devour its children.
This is exactly what I’m talking about. Non-editable (Is that a word?) comments in the year 2014. Who does that?
re: Jessica Simpson's Breasts Commercial Has Breasts (38 comments)
re: The Police Caught War Machine Without Dog The Bounty Hunter? Impossible (74 comments)
Clearly you missed all my posts making fun of Steven Seagal patrolling the border.
Or my quips about the shitheads terrorizing children fleeing Central American countries and demanding we ship them back like the good Christian nation we are.
re: Justin Timberlake Called Madonna 'My Ninja' On Twitter, Is In Some Shit (29 comments)
For the record, while I do soapbox on some shit, 99% of the time I’m just reporting the “outrage” because that’s my job. Covering the ridiculous shit that’s happening to celebrities. In this case, getting ripped apart on Twitter – whether overblown or not – because they think they can walk around using street slang even though they live in million dollar mansions and were in the goddamn Mickey Mouse Club. I’m not creating the outrage, it’s already out there. And has been for a while by the time I get to it because my couch is soft. To me, it’s mainly just hilarious in the sense of how obliviously out of touch these people are. Like Bieber singing nigger.
re: So Daryl Dixon Might Be Gay (88 comments)
“I have never seen him mess with the young boy, or look at him funny.”
Yeah, he didn’t try to fuck a kid. Clearly, not a homosexual.
Die in a goddamn fire.
re: Jennifer Lawrence Is Banging Chris Martin, Gwyneth Paltrow's Chris Martin (39 comments)