Profile

Latest Comments

Posted on Aug 21st
re: A Special Thanks From The Desk of The Superficial (131 comments)

Apparently, I just need to visit Canada and England and all my lonely penis problems will be solved. To Travelocity, bitches!

Posted on Aug 21st
re: Kim Kardashian Destroyed Mariah Carey's Marriage (15 comments)

Haha! You think they had sex.

Posted on Aug 21st
re: A Special Thanks From The Desk of The Superficial (131 comments)

DON’T GET ON THAT FLIGHT!

Posted on Aug 21st
re: A Special Thanks From The Desk of The Superficial (131 comments)

I will devour its children.

Posted on Aug 21st
re: A Special Thanks From The Desk of The Superficial (131 comments)

This is exactly what I’m talking about. Non-editable (Is that a word?) comments in the year 2014. Who does that?

Posted on Aug 18th
re: Jessica Simpson's Breasts Commercial Has Breasts (38 comments)

Breast you.

Clearly you missed all my posts making fun of Steven Seagal patrolling the border.

Or my quips about the shitheads terrorizing children fleeing Central American countries and demanding we ship them back like the good Christian nation we are.

For the record, while I do soapbox on some shit, 99% of the time I’m just reporting the “outrage” because that’s my job. Covering the ridiculous shit that’s happening to celebrities. In this case, getting ripped apart on Twitter – whether overblown or not – because they think they can walk around using street slang even though they live in million dollar mansions and were in the goddamn Mickey Mouse Club. I’m not creating the outrage, it’s already out there. And has been for a while by the time I get to it because my couch is soft. To me, it’s mainly just hilarious in the sense of how obliviously out of touch these people are. Like Bieber singing nigger.

Posted on Aug 17th
re: So Daryl Dixon Might Be Gay (88 comments)

“I have never seen him mess with the young boy, or look at him funny.”

Yeah, he didn’t try to fuck a kid. Clearly, not a homosexual.

Die in a goddamn fire.