Audrina Patridge’s Breasts Look Awesome

July 29th, 2010 // 64 Comments

When properly clothed and supported.

Here’s Audrina Patridge in London last night facilitating the illusion that her breasts reside in the same area code and you can actually touch both of them during intercourse without calling a cab. It’s like the exact opposite of all that fan-fiction I wrote:

“As I caressed Audrina Patridge’s ample love melon on LC’s couch, I quickly realized the distance between the two was far greater than I calculated. But the L Train doesn’t run for another hour. Damn!
With necessity being the mother of invention, I summoned Battle-Cat from He-Man. This would be our longest journey yet, except, never mind, I’ve reached completion. Cancel that order.
She saunters to the kitchen for the adding of meat to bread while telling me how any woman who requires more than 15 seconds is a Godless Jezebel and devourer of children which she then says she’s incapable of having. I immediately tell Spencer to shut off the camera. I’m aroused again, but this time it’s not for MTV. No, no. This one’s for the DVD.
“RELEASE THE KRAKEN!”

Photos: Pacific Coast News, WENN

superficial

  1. allie!

    first

  2. Audrina Patridge
    wilko
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a shame about the bra.

  3. Jester

    GET THAT SHIT OUT OF HERE. THE INTERNETS IS AMERICA. SPEAK ENGLISH OR GTFO.

  4. Audrina Patridge
    madphenom
    Commented on this photo:

    zipper is open. bet she doesn’t wear undies.

  5. Audrina Patridge
    madphenom
    Commented on this photo:

    zipper’s open. no panties for her….

  6. Karmen

    What’s up with side/armpit boob? Looks kinda weird to me.

  7. stinky mcpoop

    I’ll look away when her eyes point in the same direction as her nipples.

  8. The SW writer makes about as much sense as the orientation of these breasts.
    Best guess is that it seems to be about premature ejaculation while climbing all over one or the other of her hooters. With this current configuration you have to choose one…you can’t have both. Sorry about that; talk to her Dr if you have complaints.

  9. Audrina marry me.

  10. Audrina Patridge
    oooaaahhh
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes they do!!

  11. Audrina Patridge
    madphenom
    Commented on this photo:

    34Ds with an 18″ waist. gotta love it.

  12. oooaaahhh

    Yes they do!!

  13. mememe

    Who?

  14. Mr Poster:

    Get a sub-domain for this chick, will ya? Not everyone thinks she’s the hottest chick out there and it wastes my scrolling time.

  15. jumpin_j

    “you can actually touch both of them during intercourse without calling a cab.”

    I’d like to try :-)

  16. Teabagger (think balls, not politics)

    I’d hit it

  17. nothing

    That’s some amazing fanfic right there. Have you considered writing a novel?

  18. Audrina Patridge
    cd
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m not a hills guy. i’ve never watched the show. this chick is unbelievable hot though.

  19. sean

    I like sex with 12 year old boys.

  20. Audrina Patridge
    Muffy the Lesbian
    Commented on this photo:

    Good as money can buy. Check out her jacked up boobs on awfulplasticsurgery.com

  21. Jockstrap McDickface

    She can also use her mouth as a can opener.

  22. Audrina Patridge
    Strongprong
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit it. If you know what I mean …. ;>)

  23. Pixie

    As someone who reads fanfiction and understands the ridiculous size of this girl’s implants, I just want to thank you fish for making me laugh on both fronts.

  24. Audrina Patridge
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    she has an amazing mouth…and everything else about her too

  25. Audrina Patridge
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    nom nom nom

  26. captain america

    yep, THEY’RE LOOKING MORE “SAD” EVERY DAY.

  27. Audrina Patridge
    Adam
    Commented on this photo:

    WAY too skinny…. No hips, no ass…. wow…

  28. Jay

    is it wrong for me to think how much i think this chick is stupid, yet how much i want to bang her brains out?

  29. Audrina Patridge
    Fakie Titty
    Commented on this photo:

    Her boobs only look good with a shirt over them. In a bikini you can see the implant and dents, pretty nasty looking.

  30. Audrina Patridge
    Bored with life
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks stupid as fuck, but for some reason I really want to fuck her hard.

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