When properly clothed and supported.
Here’s Audrina Patridge in London last night facilitating the illusion that her breasts reside in the same area code and you can actually touch both of them during intercourse without calling a cab. It’s like the exact opposite of all that fan-fiction I wrote:
“As I caressed Audrina Patridge’s ample love melon on LC’s couch, I quickly realized the distance between the two was far greater than I calculated. But the L Train doesn’t run for another hour. Damn!
With necessity being the mother of invention, I summoned Battle-Cat from He-Man. This would be our longest journey yet, except, never mind, I’ve reached completion. Cancel that order.
She saunters to the kitchen for the adding of meat to bread while telling me how any woman who requires more than 15 seconds is a Godless Jezebel and devourer of children which she then says she’s incapable of having. I immediately tell Spencer to shut off the camera. I’m aroused again, but this time it’s not for MTV. No, no. This one’s for the DVD.
“RELEASE THE KRAKEN!”
Photos: Pacific Coast News, WENN
ugottabekidding | July 29, 2010 at 4:00 pm
прва
Mr. Nice Guy | July 29, 2010 at 4:34 pm
She looks Great! One of the best bodies in the world!
Vito | July 29, 2010 at 9:07 pm
Yeah except her tits are Tupperware! Other than that she’s hotter than habanero peppers.
loveyou1314 | July 30, 2010 at 8:04 am
Do you want to experience i-nterracial da-ting? I met my black guy on
{—–W W W.b l a c k w h i t e m i n g l e -℃0 M——}.
It is an interracial dating site for s-exy singles of all races.
there has been thousands of single members online and many black and white single girls or guys waitting for you maybe you will like it.
lilchicka722 | July 30, 2010 at 5:57 am
i want fake tits. shut up.
lilchicka722 | July 30, 2010 at 5:59 am
NOT the plastic hard ball shit on the chest …just normal, soft looking implants. Which YES is possible all of you future wannabe playmates…and/orold playmates that wish to regret their surgeries!!
lilchicka722 | July 30, 2010 at 6:00 am
woudnt you rather nie real titties then fake humungo titties???
Mr. Nice Guy | August 2, 2010 at 12:52 am
All Tits like this are real, real nice!
allie! | July 29, 2010 at 4:01 pm
first
allie! | July 29, 2010 at 4:01 pm
FUCK
ugottabekidding | July 29, 2010 at 4:01 pm
Sorry allie. lol
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 4:08 pm
ראשון
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 4:09 pm
nvm, had a visitor…
Chenush | August 1, 2010 at 9:36 am
What is nvm?
Jester | July 29, 2010 at 4:10 pm
GET THAT SHIT OUT OF HERE. THE INTERNETS IS AMERICA. SPEAK ENGLISH OR GTFO.
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 4:12 pm
irrig f’hallak = my dick is in your lungs
why dont you speak cherokee, assmunch
Jason | July 29, 2010 at 4:14 pm
C’mon dude relax, the internets is America.
Jester | July 29, 2010 at 4:15 pm
Trolling is success.
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 4:17 pm
the internets is world wide. english is not american its germanic
Jester | July 29, 2010 at 4:20 pm
No, English is AMERICAN, and the internet is AMERICAN.
Jester | July 29, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Tits are also, that’s right, AMERICAN.
Jason | July 29, 2010 at 4:22 pm
AIDS is American too, isn’t it?
ugottabekidding | July 29, 2010 at 4:23 pm
Seriously, Jester, you need to take a pill or get yourself a drink pronto (that would be quick in English). If you haven’t figured it out, it’s simply a creative way to say first with each new story. Get over it. Oh, and by the way, if you’re so concerned about being American, then stop being so fucking lazy and actually type shit out, rather than abbreviating, dipshit. So, maybe you should GET THE FUCK OUT. Cheers! :)
Jester | July 29, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Cheers are AMERICAN.
ugottabekidding | July 29, 2010 at 4:31 pm
Cheers was actually a very funny television show starring Ted Danson. It ran from 1982-1993. In your face! lol
Thanks snarky. Some people just don’t get it. lol
snarkyscreenname | July 29, 2010 at 4:26 pm
Jester, you should consider learning English before you attempt to order other people to speak it.
First of all: all caps is a NONO. It is rude and irritating to the eyes.
Secondly, “the Internet” is considered to be one entity. Additionally, it is not also “America” – or American as I presume that your were attempting to convey with that mongolid statement. The internet happens to be a world-wide interface in which people transmit data back and forth in order to communicate and relay information. Its kinda like that string and can you use to call your cousin to the “humpin bed” before she starts her period in hopes of impregnating her and keeping the family line “pure”.
Third, GTFO, is not a word. Its just not. It has absolutely NO meaning whatsoever.
Finally, dudeatdudedotdude and ugottabekidding are enjoying a friendly game of “First” by emplying the usage of foreign languages.
Jester | July 29, 2010 at 4:30 pm
Meh, you guys merely state the obvious. As I said earlier, I’m trolling. You people make it so utterly easy it’s not fun. Obviously the internet isn’t American. Man, trolling used to be fun.
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 4:31 pm
and employing them too ;D
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Jester if you want fun trolling do consider busting on sean. Something like “christianity is the devil”, “gibson is a tool of satan”.. you know where i’m going with it..
Jester | July 29, 2010 at 9:07 pm
Seems I was pretty successful with how long I got it. (That’s what she said, yeah yeah.)
Mee Mee | July 30, 2010 at 12:33 pm
It’s mongoloid.
Drew | July 29, 2010 at 4:31 pm
lol @ all the morons that took this seriously.
ugottabekidding | July 29, 2010 at 4:35 pm
lol @ drew, just because his name is drew. lol
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 4:36 pm
lol at Cock Dr, just cos someone would name their child after a bird
Karmen | July 29, 2010 at 4:16 pm
What’s up with side/armpit boob? Looks kinda weird to me.
She looks good | July 29, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Looks good to me.
stinky mcpoop | July 29, 2010 at 4:19 pm
I’ll look away when her eyes point in the same direction as her nipples.
FrankNfrtr | July 29, 2010 at 4:19 pm
The SW writer makes about as much sense as the orientation of these breasts.
Best guess is that it seems to be about premature ejaculation while climbing all over one or the other of her hooters. With this current configuration you have to choose one…you can’t have both. Sorry about that; talk to her Dr if you have complaints.
Lightdragon | July 29, 2010 at 4:19 pm
Audrina marry me.
oooaaahhh | July 29, 2010 at 4:27 pm
Yes they do!!
mememe | July 29, 2010 at 4:29 pm
Who?
frisbeeken | July 29, 2010 at 4:34 pm
Mr Poster:
Get a sub-domain for this chick, will ya? Not everyone thinks she’s the hottest chick out there and it wastes my scrolling time.
jumpin_j | July 29, 2010 at 4:35 pm
“you can actually touch both of them during intercourse without calling a cab.”
I’d like to try :-)
dudeatdudedotdude | July 29, 2010 at 4:38 pm
here’s a few pairs that might actually require that cab: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8-HbdEZuPI
Teabagger (think balls, not politics) | July 29, 2010 at 4:38 pm
I’d hit it
nothing | July 29, 2010 at 4:41 pm
That’s some amazing fanfic right there. Have you considered writing a novel?
sean | July 29, 2010 at 5:42 pm
I like sex with 12 year old boys.
Jockstrap McDickface | July 29, 2010 at 7:48 pm
She can also use her mouth as a can opener.
Pixie | July 29, 2010 at 10:42 pm
As someone who reads fanfiction and understands the ridiculous size of this girl’s implants, I just want to thank you fish for making me laugh on both fronts.
captain america | July 30, 2010 at 12:32 am
yep, THEY’RE LOOKING MORE “SAD” EVERY DAY.
Jay | July 30, 2010 at 3:08 am
is it wrong for me to think how much i think this chick is stupid, yet how much i want to bang her brains out?