Audrina Patridge in a Bikini and Other News

March 7th, 2011 // 64 Comments

- Guy Ritchie‘s girlfriend is having a baby. [Popeater]

- True Blood‘s Sam Trammell will see that baby and raise it one. [TooFab]

- Jennifer Aniston regurgitates the web’s greatest hits to sell Smartwater. [Dlisted]

- Daniel Craig is all about gender equality. And wearing dresses. [Lainey Gossip]

- Amanda Bynes tweets in her underwear. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Paris Hilton still has nipples. [DrunkenStepfather: NSFW]

- January Jones refuses to play Grace Kelly. [Starpulse]

- Kirstie Alley is looking radiant. [Celebslam]

- Aubrey O’Day has a reality show now. Oh, goody. [Bossip]

- The best use for books. [theCHIVE]

- Well, maybe not all books. [BuzzFeed]

- The Best ‘Fros in Sports History [Bleacher Report]

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Photos: INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. what a hideous chest

  2. Drew

    Oh glorious wonk, how I have missed you.

  3. Deandra

    I am so happy i never got a boob job, ill stick with my b cup. fake boobs look UGLY!

    • Drew

      Fake boobs don’t always have to be the gargantuan excess you see in the media. If the doctor is good, they can be done exceptionally well and in some cases, look quite natural. My girlfriend got a very, very minor boob job after losing a ton of weight, which seemed to all come out of her right breasts, and she couldn’t be happier with herself (she’s only a B cup, after the surgery). Sure, they’re a little firm :P but they look great and most importantly she’s finally happy with body.

      That said, b-cups are a great size. Don’t let anyone tell you any differently.

    • lot

      Okay, have fun choosing between the 2-3 men who might be interested in you, vs. the 200-300 who would be interested if you we size D.

      • the best boobs are the ones you can touch…so a B in the hand is worth a D in the bush. But personally I think about a C+ is perfect. It was good enough for my GPA, it’s good enough for boobies.

      • lot

        It’s been said the perfect size breast is one that fits neatly in a brandy snifter. I imagine that a C cup.

      • v

        Boobs have to be proportionate to the rest of the body.
        Even A-cups are great on a thin body and they don’t get saggy like natural B/C/D-cups.

    • horn dog

      Hey Drew, where did you find a girl with two right breasts?

      • the only opinion that matters

        McFeely I felt compelled to read your comment to the rest of the office (while on our coffee break of course ; )… effing hilarious comment!

    • Snickers

      I love my B-cups too, they’re the perfect size!

    • LEB

      Fake boobs like hers look ugly. Fake boobs that are intended to fix dissymmetry or oddly shaped breasts or breasts that need to be reconstructed after cancer treatment can look quite nice and natural. If the boob job is well done, people don’t even notice.

  4. sonncha

    “Ha ha ha! Can you beleive some people will think these pictures aren’t a set-up? Ha! ha!”

  5. alex

    She looks like she’s developed an eating disorder. She’s a bag of bones now. Just look at her legs. She used to be toned and thin but not emaciated.

  6. RoboZombie

    Good ol’ Wonk-Boobs!

  7. RoboZombie

    PS Glad to see Eeyore was able to make friends with Wonky

  8. anishamoshi

    looks much better with a tan…also hid the wonk-chest better!

  9. Talk Hard

    Ms. Bynes has quite the rack.

  10. Audrina Patridge Bikini
    The Ugly Truth
    Commented on this photo:

    BREAST REDUCTION?

  11. Galleta Puta

    She’s one depraved porno away from me becoming a big fan.

  12. Urbanspaceman

    With “breasts” like that she’s got nothing to laugh a-bout!

  13. mean tina

    Is that her sister, also anorexia is cool.

  14. Audrina Patridge Bikini
    Vin Diesel
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice refund gap.

  15. Audrina Patridge Bikini
    B
    Commented on this photo:

    Why’d she downgrade those titties? Terrible decision.

  16. hah, funny thing was I saw the boobs before I saw the face or headline, and still knew it was old wonk boobs herself.

    Plastic surgeons should just name this after her. “Do you want the implants to look normal, or do you want the Audrina-gap?”

  17. Reece

    Is it bad that the only way i was able to figure out which one was Adriana was from the abyss between her breasts?

    • LEB

      Her trademark has become her trademark, just like Lisa Rinna became known for her freakishly botched lip enhancement surgery. At least Lisa got them kind of fixed.

  18. The funbags on the right are at least ten years younger than the funbags on the left.

    Also, since when has the Next Karate Kid’s rack been that large.

    • What I don’t get is what it is about breast implants that makes chicks suddenly immune to being self-conscious about physical flaws. I assume they GOT the implants because they were self-conscious about small boobs…so they get ones that look HORRIBLE…but instead of being shy about how horrible they look, they put them on display like they’re proud of them.

      If Audrina naturally had boobs that looked like this, she’d be wanting surgery to make them look normal (and probably bigger…because she’s just like that)

      • horn dog

        I can totally see her being all catty and “eww, gross…put that shit away” to her well-endowed sisters whenever they’d have the cleavage rockin’ – and now she’s got hers, so it’s “hello, world! Look at me – I was soooo cute before, well NOW I have boobs too!!! Look at me!!!”
        Too bad: FAIL. They’re hideous, and your torso looks like one that greeted Allied liberators as they swung open the gates of Auschwitz.

      • It’s funny, if you glance read it “allied liberators” looks like “alligators”, which made the Auschwitz reference very confusing.

      • Richard McBeef

        Alligators? Everybody knows shitler used crocodiles at the concentration camps.

  19. Audrina Patridge Bikini
    g!
    Commented on this photo:

    she really looks pretty in this shot

  20. Drundel

    So who is the chick in black?

  21. Ill Rough you just the way you are

    “Kirstie Alley is looking radiant”

    I AGREE!

  22. Richard McBeef

    Then Moses stretched out his hand over the bikini top, and all that night the Plastic Surgeons drove the titties back with a strong east wind and turned it into wonky land. The titties were divided and the Israelites landed a commercial airliner between them, with a wall of silicone on their right and on their left.

  23. duder

    It’s like the plastic surgeon molded a dick canal in the gap between her boobs.

  24. The Critical Crassness

    What I want to know is when did Audrina Partridge “IN” a bikini become newsworthy! Now, if she were “OUT” of the bikini, IT would be news!

  25. Nasty...

    Recently, some stupid hollywood poll voter her “Hollywood Star with the best body”. Wrong on 2 counts; this chick isn’t even a starlet, and her fake tits are universally acknowledged as being the WORST tit job in all of Hollywood. They’re not even close to being realistic; looks like someone bolted on some saggy grapefruits to her chest. Just nasty…

  26. LEB

    Heh, Audrina and her weird fake boobs. If women want to get fake boobs, then hey, whatever… but ladies, if you have no fat on your bodies, C and D cups are going to look horrible. Keep those puppies proportionate to the rest of your bod.

  27. Audrina Patridge Bikini
    igotaproblem
    Commented on this photo:

    cleavage = makes me wanna cry

  28. the captain

    audrina isn’t slim any longer.
    ……………KILLING SKINNY!!

    (and she was so nice)

  29. anonym

    wow. she and her mom look so similar

  30. agartheterrible

    I don’t blame you, Justin Bobby. Not even her breasts wanna stay together.

  31. Audrina Patridge Bikini
    DogBoy
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be describing the boobs she’s gonna implant as her 15 minutes of fame nears its conclusion.

  32. Burt

    So, who are these average looking girls and why should I care?

  33. Audrina Patridge Bikini
    Ish KaBibble
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one is she again?

  34. Jill Ess

    I never realized what a nice rack Hilary Swank has.

    • LEB

      Hilary Swank has likely had an augmentation. If you look at pictures of her in her pre-Boys Don’t Cry days, her teeny tatas rival Kiera Knightley’s (not that there’s anything wrong with danty dumplings). Her nips also point up at the “ideal” 45 degree angle, which few women have naturally.

      The difference is that if Hilary had an augmentation, it was very, very well done. Audrine should have used Hilary’s surgeon.

  35. bsmy914

    I had no idea Audrina and Hilary Swank were BFFs.

  36. Audrina Patridge Bikini
    Ashley
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is there two horses in bikinis?

  37. Audrina Patridge Bikini
    Amominous
    Commented on this photo:

    Pity. Not at all giddy about the gap-ity in this titty committee

  38. Personification of the Gods that built Mount Olympus

    Someone get this bish a burger,

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