Ashton Kutcher: ‘Demi Moore Wasn’t Jealous of Natalie Portman’

But let’s assume she is now.

During the premiere of No Strings Attached, Ashton Kutcher was asked how Demi Moore felt about his sex scenes with the almost two decades younger Natalie Portman, what follows is your typical Hollywood response from a man afraid of sleeping in the cellar again. Via Hollywood Life:

When asked if he has to bring home flowers for his wife on the days he filmed sex scenes with his gorgeous costar Natalie Portman, Ashton flashed a huge smile and laughed. “No, the beauty of my relationship is that we are both actors so we both understand what we have to do at work and what that entails so — it’s a good thing being married to an actress!”

And then right after filming Natalie Portman ended up pregnant. Now for the record, let me emphatically state that I don’t believe Ashton is the father. Ha! Are you kidding me? That man lives in a perpetual state of alert and only has sexual intercourse by way of a fear boner. *tips hat to The League* No, what am I saying is that Demi Moore seems like the type to sabotage birth control pills. I once saw half an episode of Desperate Housewives, and that’s all the evidence I need to back that claim up. The defense rests.

Photos: Getty