Ashton Kutcher: ‘Demi Moore Wasn’t Jealous of Natalie Portman’

January 13th, 2011 // 38 Comments

But let’s assume she is now.

During the premiere of No Strings Attached, Ashton Kutcher was asked how Demi Moore felt about his sex scenes with the almost two decades younger Natalie Portman, what follows is your typical Hollywood response from a man afraid of sleeping in the cellar again. Via Hollywood Life:

When asked if he has to bring home flowers for his wife on the days he filmed sex scenes with his gorgeous costar Natalie Portman, Ashton flashed a huge smile and laughed. “No, the beauty of my relationship is that we are both actors so we both understand what we have to do at work and what that entails so — it’s a good thing being married to an actress!”

And then right after filming Natalie Portman ended up pregnant. Now for the record, let me emphatically state that I don’t believe Ashton is the father. Ha! Are you kidding me? That man lives in a perpetual state of alert and only has sexual intercourse by way of a fear boner. *tips hat to The League* No, what am I saying is that Demi Moore seems like the type to sabotage birth control pills. I once saw half an episode of Desperate Housewives, and that’s all the evidence I need to back that claim up. The defense rests.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. dude

    my apologies, I’m still on the awesome Sheen story.

    CHARLIE SHEEN’S HOOKER #3: “Hey, don’t you have to be back in L.A. today to shoot?”

    CHARLIE: “TWAT DID YOU SAY? I CUNT HEAR YOU! I HAVE AN EAR INFUCKTION!!”

    HOOKER: “You rascal!” (motorboats his balls).

  2. dude

    also, only a cocaine-blown-brain would conceive of “ear infection” as the best excuse.

    But on topic, and given a time machine, I would still rather do a 60 year old Portman than a 30 year old Moore. It’s a class thing.

  3. “Fear boner” made me LOL!

  4. Ashton Kutcher Demi Moore Natalie Portman
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if boy Ashton is kept on an increasingly shortened leash, or if they have a discreetly open marriage.
    Demi looks different in these photos. Has she jacked around with her face?

  5. Rough moves the crowd in unison

    Pregnancies usually makes me run the opposite way, but I really like to see how swollen she gets in the chest area…

  6. Ashton Kutcher Demi Moore Natalie Portman
    kulit
    Commented on this photo:

    the paps just had to get an unflattering photo.

  7. Hulk Hogan

    He needs a haircut.

  8. Ashton Kutcher Demi Moore Natalie Portman
    erg
    Commented on this photo:

    Natalie 1 – Demi 0

  9. Hugh Gentry

    Natalie is sooo much hotter than Demi. Demi should do an AARP calendar.

  10. Deacon Jones

    Right before he slipped it in her on set, he whispered:
    “This hurts me more than it does you”

    -and messed himself immediately

  11. THE KUTCH IS LOOSE! Whooooo!

    …I got nothing.

  12. dude

    Why should Demi be jealous? She only spent $8.2 million to try to look as young and hot as Portman, only to become an honorary member of the Addams family. What’s to be jealous about?

  13. GravyLeg

    Why would she be jealous what he does at work?? She keeps his cock and balls at home.

  14. Ashton Kutcher Demi Moore Natalie Portman
    Bratt N. Heimer
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m glad Demi found a dress to match her knees.

  15. Demi has no reason to be jealous of Natalie, no reason at all. Demi already knows who Ashton is fucking, and it’s not Natalie.

    I wonder what it’s like to be an old, crusted, plastic surgery roadmap hasbeen, married to someone younger and at the top of their game? I guess you just have to be ok with them doing whatever and whoever they want, and be glad you get the leftovers.

  16. lightdragon

    ah the new Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

  17. Roger

    Why is Kutcher still famous? The guy can’t act and is really fucking weird looking.

  18. Roger

    And why would Demi be jealous? There’s no fucking way Portman would hit that.

  19. wim

    psssst: THIS IS THE LANGUAGE OF A DIE HARD LOSER.(demi more)

  20. bimbamboing

    I’m starting to believe that many of these folks aren’t really 100%. Do they really believe that the people take this as the truth?

  21. Galtacticus

    Demi Moore probably knows that smear campaigns, even continuesly, don’t bring you anywhere even near you would like to be (proven fact). As a matter of fact it would only reveal her own true colors …

    • Nero

      They’re both laughing in these pics and that’s the right tactic. But i’ve seen others using totally the wrong tactics. It’s almost like they’re neurotic or something ….

  22. Gando

    Ah well, they’re all seasoned adults. Seasoned adults means that people do something continueusly with new knowledge ……

  23. Gab

    This is the first time I’ve really looked at a picture of them together. They actually really look good together, no? Yeah, I’m sure Demi was jealous.

  24. Nero

    That’s after all just another brick in this bottomless pit what’s called saving account. Damn, i’m getting jealous.

  25. bimbamboing

    Do we all remember the blocked credit card of this douche!?

    • Galtacticus

      That’s nice for his CV. Criminal record …

      • Nero

        I’m thinking about these good ol’ pitch and feathers time. For certain the emotional damage would be way bigger ….

      • Rhialto

        I’m just finished with doing housekeeping, feeding the birds and transferring money to good causes. What are you all talking about?

      • Galtacticus

        *Dressed in evil monk outfit* Only the truth can save them. Pray that The Flower is going to call mercy on you …

  26. dontlooknow

    Ya know, if Demi was smart…she’d have some of her dried up old eggs extracted and mixed with the magic elixir of youth flowing through Ashton’s penis…and get them planted in her tired old utuerus…at least them she could collect child support to live on after Ash continues “acting” with one of his contemporary co-stars…just saying’.

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