Ashley Hart In A Bikini
(a.k.a. The Crap I Missed – Wednesday 3.14.12)

March 14th, 2012 // 45 Comments

“So this is what it’s like to sex the ocean like a man. — I can take it or leave it.”

And welcome to the part of the day where I whine and bitch and moan about Photo Boy not being here, and then stare wistfully out the window dreaming of his warm, wet nose nuzzling my neck as he leash flops in the wind… Anyway, because this site sometimes posts bikini photos, here’s model Ashley Hart (sister of Sports Illusrated model Jessica Hart) at Bondi beach yesterday for you to scrutinize. Is she too skinny? Too man-faced? Nothing special? Surely, the Internet in its never-ending pursuit for truth will let us know, if not Robert Downey Jr. will probably tell us she was a child prostitute. He’s good like that.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Snooki's Taint
    Commented on this photo:

    Need a hand with that?

  2. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this what you’re supposed to do when you’re “down under”?

  3. Dan

    She looks yummy to me!

  4. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “And THIS is what I call the “Chris Brown!” “

  5. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oops! Sorry I dropped you. I was distracted … for some reason.”

  6. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s trying to orient her so that the sun shines directly down into her vaginia and out her mouth.

  7. Deacon Jones

    She’s “pretty”

    But she’s not “hot”.

    As in, you’d marry her. But she’s not that dirty, sluttish girl that married men see in the mall and lust after…..(looks over shoulder)

  8. It’s always fun to see fresh clams in the sand.

  9. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:


  10. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy has a great strategy…..let’s play on the beach!
    And all the games involve him putting his hands all over.

  11. Jimbo

    She needs to go to Dr. 90210 for a boob job. I am betting the Fish dudes man boobs are bigger than hers..

  12. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    That move only works in Tekken, Ashley.

  13. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Thank you God!’

  14. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    What an oaf…there’s a better way to hold her steady.

  15. Sheppy

    I’m gonna go for:


  16. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I know everyone hates this response, but…WHO??

  17. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    yoga is good for you..

  18. sans emo

    Thanks. Now I have to find a prostitute that looks like her and face fuck her for 30 minutes.

  19. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Internet Browsing
    Commented on this photo:

    This is where my penis got way out of control.

  20. Lovely lady. I’m jealous that the dude gets to put his wiener in her vagina. Or elsewhere, for that matter.

  21. Chord

    God, what I wouldn’t do for some Kat Dennings tit.

  22. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    the guy is pretty hot himself!

  23. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    And here we see the beginning stage of the penis button’s formation..

  24. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    The ultimate Final 5!!!

  25. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    her belly looks like an old cookie sheet

  26. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Austin (Danger) Powers
    Commented on this photo:

    Eww: Her elbows are too sharp!

  27. Ashley Hart Bikini
    turd da third
    Commented on this photo:

    naaa, not photoshopped, I hate to see real skin anymore!
    next no-name fish, must be scraping the bottom of the barrel for news today I guess

  28. Ashley Hart Bikini
    turd da third
    Commented on this photo:

    checking to make sure the suntan lotion was put on correctly, smells like coconut!

  29. Ashley Hart Bikini
    God is Black
    Commented on this photo:

    I would be laughing too! He knows what he’s looking at , all to for his personal view.

  30. blurpy


    In the hope that you spend at least a few minutes reviewing these comments in between nipping one out to borderline underage celebs in skivs, I am DYING to know… what has become of Heidi Montag?

    A year ago this bleached tart and Spencer were all over the place; I would stare at thesuperficial like an angry rabid dog cursing those fuckwits; I hated how her new nailpolish was celebrity news. But NOW I’m dying to know what has happened to them.

    How does this celebrity shit work? Have the gossip sites decided she is no longer relevant and boycotted her? Does she still flounce around with her bulbous norks out, but no one reports on it? Or has she stopped calling the paps? Despite how sickening she was, she can’t compete with the vapid shitness that is Kim Kardashian, so I want to know – is this girl happy?

    I’d actually love to hear that she is genuinely happy and has better self esteem. I’ve never seen someone more unhappy with who they are. Visit your puke bucket if you want, but send out your minions! I MUST KNOW

  31. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t see the fuss over her. She’s slender, but there are tons of models and celebs that look better in a bikini. Take Jessica Alba pre and post baby, Adriana Lima, etc. She does have nice white teeth tho

  32. Ashley Hart Bikini
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    Model? Really?

    I guess theres hope for all you ugly people.

  33. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:


  34. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    get a bathing suit that fits… jeepers women! Come on! Your famous(ish) with cash to blow and you buy bathing suits that are so freakin’ ILL FITTING…

  35. Ashley Hart Bikini
    turd da third
    Commented on this photo:

    where did I put my wristwatch again?

  36. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    who the hell is she

  37. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:


  38. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty smile, tight body.

  39. Ashley Hart Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmmmm the things I’d do.

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