Ashley Greene is Drunkenly Banging Randoms Now

Following her break-up with Joe Jonas, Twilight star Ashley Greene has been literally clubbing every night since, and now it looks she’s banging any dude who doesn’t have a purity ring on. Like this guy. I mean, just look at his face. Lucky bastard has no clue what just happened. “Bro, I don’t even know. Walked into the bar, ordered a PBR – Totes badass, I know. – and the next thing I know this chick is all over me saying something like, ‘Put your hard cock in me, Satan,’ and then a bunch of talk about gay brothers watching me ‘gay her in the butt’ because ‘that’s all you ever do.’ It was INSANE. Also, what the fuck is a Twilight? Should I know what that is? Because she seemed quite adamant that I should when she took her pants off and laughed at her own vagina. Which ended in fucking, by the way, and not her throwing up and blacking out on the bed which I took for consent. Haha! Who does that? Certainly not me, haha, who wants to shop for vinyl? Let’s shop for vinyl.” *shifty eyes*

Photos: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News