Ashlee Simpson wears a bikini

March 26th, 2008 // 88 Comments

The Sun posted these pics of Ashlee Simpson wearing a bikini in Jamaica while vacationing with Pete Wentz. I can’t tell if she’s rocking some implants but, if she is, they were probably installed at birth and confirm my long held theory about Joe Simpson: He loves America – a lot. I’m talking he wants to make love to the USA and not just “have sex.” Then they’d spoon on the couch and watch Atonement. Until Joe brings up getting implants again and they start arguing. He just wants you to look beautiful, America. But mostly in the Dakota region.

EDIT: Had to take down the images. Hit the link above to check them out.


  1. monkeyfightclub

    What the hell, I’d nail her. Looks and body wise she’s not trophy, but I’ve done way worse than her.

  2. mary jane

    why would a pasty white ginga wear bright yellow?! fashion police!!

  3. She is so pretty and large sexy.I saw her many times in millonaire dating site”W e a l t h y L o v i n g . co m”.I am wondering what kind of love she want in this site?

  4. Tom

    whitewomensuck.blogspot.com

  5. Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

    Fake breasts? NAH. Check out the side boob shot……I’ve seen 80 year old beaver tails that looked perkier.

  6. Meaghan

    1. To-day I begin with a repetition of what I said before, and I BEG YOU TO BEAR IN MIND THAT GOVERNMENTS AND PEOPLE ARE CONTENT IN THE POLITICAL WITH OUTSIDE APPEARANCES. And how, indeed, are the GOYIM to perceive the underlying meaning of things when their representatives give the best of their energies to enjoying themselves? For our policy it is of the greatest importance to take cognizance of this detail; it will be of assistance to us when we come to consider the division of authority of property, of the dwelling, of taxation (the idea of concealed taxes), of the reflex force of the laws. All these questions are such as ought not to be touched upon directly and openly before the people. In cases where it is indispensable to touch upon them they must not be categorically named, it must merely be declared without detailed exposition that the principles of contemporary law are acknowledged by us. The reason of keeping silence in this respect is that by not naming a principle we leave ourselves freedom of action, to drop this or that out of it without attracting notice; if they were all categorically named they would all appear to have been already given.

    Look, I am large pussied. I aint been laid since the moon done turned red on one of them there eclipse thingys. I am sorry if I am ignorant and pathetic. I am just frustrated.

  7. humpin frog

    I Spring Break, she gets noticed at last call!

  8. IWONKY

    God #44, if you’re lactose intolerant, where does your pussy get it’s crust??

  9. IWONKY

    Ole’ Ashlee’s got a hot mole hanging from the right side of her yellowness. Hat looks stupid, pussy looks shaved.

  10. somuchlove

    I think she had a boob job, she was completely flat-chested before, was she not? They don’t need to be speidi-sized to be implants. She needs to work out some, like erica poster said. She could use some muscle tone.

    And btw, what the fuck is going on in this thread?

  11. CunningLinguist

    How ’bout that giant mole on her right tit, eh? Yeah? Yeah? I’d lick it.

  12. emily farthington

    1. To-day I begin with a repetition of what I said before, and I BEG YOU TO BEAR IN MIND THAT GOVERNMENTS AND PEOPLE ARE CONTENT IN THE POLITICAL WITH OUTSIDE APPEARANCES. And how, indeed, are the GOYIM to perceive the underlying meaning of things when their representatives give the best of their energies to enjoying themselves? For our policy it is of the greatest importance to take cognizance of this detail; it will be of assistance to us when we come to consider the division of authority of property, of the dwelling, of taxation (the idea of concealed taxes), of the reflex force of the laws. All these questions are such as ought not to be touched upon directly and openly before the people. In cases where it is indispensable to touch upon them they must not be categorically named, it must merely be declared without detailed exposition that the principles of contemporary law are acknowledged by us. The reason of keeping silence in this respect is that by not naming a principle we leave ourselves freedom of action, to drop this or that out of it without attracting notice; if they were all categorically named they would all appear to have been already given.

    Look, I am large pussied. I aint been laid since the moon done turned red on one of them there eclipse thingys. I am sorry if I am ignorant and pathetic. I am just frustrated.

    Yet again, how unexpected. Another fat joke. Store brand ice cream? You say that as if I even like ice cream. I don’t like milk or milk products in general. Diet dr pepper? God, you have horrible taste in food. Dr Pepper tastes like ass to begin with, but Diet Dr. Pepper, hahahahahahahaha. Back to the milk thing, I don’t drink the milk of other animals period. Milk was intended for a calf, not me. Milk is disgusting. Aside from all of that garbage, I’m lactose intolerant anyway. I’m probably the only person in the history of the civilized world that doesn’t like Ice Cream.

  13. Very good article. Congratulations!

  14. emily farthington

    these people are very strange.. their business is being famous.. except they are not.. and there’s no sex tape.. this guy is a giant douchebag.. she would be super hot in my eyes if i hadnt known about all her surgeries.. even those i could tolerate if they werent so weirdly fake.. she needs to get caught blowing someone or something her wholesome image sucks balls…

    but she is pretty fucking hot from a neutral perspective..

    if only..

    so many if onlys…

    weirdos.

  15. emily farthington

    i find it hilarious that you have the same people who write the cruelest judgmental shit i have ever read about every single celebrity writing “oh why don’t they just age gracefully… why do they get all these surgeries??” if i had millions of people criticizing me over every single flaw of mine on a daily basis, i can’t say i wouldn’t be driven to do the same thing. if they look older, u say they’re too old. if they get plastic surgery to look younger, you say they are fake. if they are normal sized, you say they are fat until they starve to size 0 and then you say they are too skinny. there is no one to blaim for all this but the “fans”

  16. huh

    are you people fucking retarded

  17. Meaghan

    I’m probably more in shape then anyone on this website.

  18. Meaghan

    . I don’t even have a car. I have to walk to almost 98% of my destinations. I also like lifting, but not because I give a shit about looking good for anyone, considering how the idea of my genitals being exposed to anyone’s idiocy for even a brief period in time repulses me. I like lifting so I can defend myself if need be, if I don’t have a gun with me for whatever reason.

    Oh my god, lmao. What did anyone mean when they said “why is this even a debate”? That fusco chick’s face is a big pile of horse shit compared to Kim. Fusco’s face reminds me of the white trash chicks I see when ever I go to Carson City, NV. Her face is so fucking generic and white trash..hahahahaha. The only thing anyone is oogling with that Fusco chick is her overworked gym-fake look body, for some reason men find that shit hot. Hitting that would be like having sex with a 12 year old boy. She’s too generic looking, that Fusco. If you want a Fusco for yourself, just go to Any Wal-Mart in white trash areas such as northern Nevada or Alabama and there you’ll find her. Seriously, all she needs to do is throw on some sweat pants and a Tweety tee-shirt to complete the white trash look. Kim’s face and body = wayyyyyyyyyyyyy hotter.

  19. grunion

    What kind of a fucked up psycho do you have to be to leave redundant, unineresting, retardedly long comments under 2 different names? How fucking self involved to you have to be to think anyone wants to read line after line of your ridiculous bullshit?

    Please answer Meaghan

  20. Meaghan

    I am in tremendously good shape. And I am very very intelligent. EVERYone wants to read my shit, perhaps smell it.

  21. Meaghan

    @ grunion, #69

    To me, there’s healthy fat and unhealthy fat, healthy skinny and unhealthy skinny. Healthy is what matters.

    Her ass deserves a seperate paragraph. She had a beautiful round ass. Her ass was sheer poetry… and I’m not talking about some skinny little haiku! After we broke up, she complained that I hadn’t tried hard enough to fuck her in the ass. I think she said that to torment me… and it sure worked!

    One thing the world has long needed is a standardized breakdown of female body types– maybe male body types, too, for all I know. Nowhere is this more badly needed than in the area of pornography. If you download a porn file called “fat girl”, you never know what you’ll get. Fortunately, the situation has vastly improved with the recent introduction of the “chubby” designation. Chubby means “slightly fat”, and I find it to be pretty consistent in that. I also find that, for me, “Chubby” is definitely a good thing. Gimme Chubby!

    When it comes to women’s bodies, I need a little imperfection. No woman is truly beautiful, at least in a way that I can respond to, without some kind of imperfection; it’s like the carbon in steel, the garlic in the guacamole. A litle extra body fat, some freckles, a short squat frame, a suggestion of loose skin around the eyes, breasts that sag a little… these details are poigniant, feminine. They convey a tender vulnerability. They represent chaos, decay, mortality… these are things that we need to love, because they are always with us. Loving them in a woman makes love more wise and all-encompasing. If truth really is beauty and beauty truth (can’t remember the name of the poet I’m citing), how can there be beauty without imperfection? Every woman’s imperfections mark her as unique.

    Of course, my own physical imperfections of a woman allow me to be comfortable with my own physical imperfections. I’m a little bit chubby myself, after all– and a big beautiful woman can even make men feel glad

    … and I realy really love that feeling.

  22. tommy salami

    i think the girl above me is trolling the board for some man meat………………….. and i am so nice i will give her a salami ride………….for free……. we have a lot in common her body and my cock are both chubby

  23. ???,????……

  24. kevin

    what’s up with all these lengthy comments !
    make it brief for the love of God ! you are not writing in YOUR FRIGGING DIARIES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  25. sicasso

    what a stupid fucking hat given to this stupid fucking moronic nobody by her fucking douche nugget of a boyfriend.

  26. DJonesSecretFan

    I believe I recognize your work…

    Although we have never been internet pen pals or anything, I have secretly admired and envied your abilities to suppress competition ever since you picked on that girl with the chihuahua back in the archives.

  27. Meaghan

    I would consider the two American girls I knew in high school, and the American guy I met a few times, and how they were normal people who were no different from anyone else here. Though I suppose they could have been hiding their patriotism and mild xenophobia, I suppose. The greed is common in most Western countries, and some Eastern ones too, so that wasn’t surprising. It just seems more developed in America. The number of times you’re likely to get sued, for example, in America is probably higher than anywhere else on the planet though I don’t have any figures to back that up. So after I’d swallowed my own foot, I would say that I don’t really know. As I’m not entirely sure how you would define my own culture. And if Americans are like us, then I can’t define theirs either.

    I really need manmeat.

  28. lipper

    Dang Auntie, lol, I was wondering for a second what I said there! Sometimes I am a uberfuck but couldn’t see where I was being one. lol

    Reminds self to take medication in morning. Damn voices are loud today. : P

    She still looks like shit wet. But her body really isn’t bad at all. Fake or not. And I’m pretty pissed, she stole my great grandfathers best sunday hat. Now its ruined, the bitch!

  29. Raffy

    Yes, I am trying to start my own bikini company and I really need as many responses as possible to this fast and easy survey… can you help me?

    Maybe you can send this around!

    http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=6xRpeDpXZdzRdhosdBW48w_3d_3d

    RST

  30. grunion

    The chick needs to invest in a burqa. Seriously, covert to Isalm get a Burqa and cover that shit up. please.

  31. turdo

    nice pasty-white playdough look ash. Dumb hat, even dumber looking boyfriend. Tats do not make you look hip or cool – like ozzy says – want to be cool? DON’T get tattoos. PW looks like a total sissy assclown poser.

  32. Chupacabra

    IS IT JUST ME OR DOES IS LOOK LIKE, “EWW WHY ARE YOU KISSING ME?” SHE’S OBVIOUSLY KNOWING THE CAMERAS ARE ON. WHAT A FUCKING BEARD.

  33. Chupacabra

    IS IT JUST ME OR DOES HE LOOK LIKE, “EWW WHY ARE YOU KISSING ME?” SHE’S OBVIOUSLY KNOWING THE CAMERAS ARE ON. WHAT A FUCKING BEARD.

  34. Doc

    Whatever happened to the lindsay lohan crying image when pictures have to be taken down? i loved that picture… haha

  35. Fart Hammer

    With all those moles on her face, I always suspected she would have a big boob mole somewhere.

  36. Meaghan

    I’d just like to say that the only thing I ever posted on this thread was the thing about that Emily chick jocking my posts. Whoever is trying to jock me or pretend to be me, hahaha you rock. Thank you for reminding me that I am infact God, and my shit smells like a cool Lake Tahoe breeze.

  37. M@RiVeLLe

    …isn’t she supposed to be preggerz??

  38. redsonja1313

    she is skinny but has ZERO muscle tone…for godsake try a sit up or two and eat, then you might not look like you just escaped from a POW camp

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