Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz: Together forever

April 10th, 2008 // 69 Comments

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are officially engaged. The two announced their unholy asshat union on their blog Friends or Enemies:

THIS JUST IN FROM ASHLEE SIMPSON “We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best. Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes – it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, but we wanted you to hear it straight from us.”
- Ashlee and Pete

It’s early in the morning so I just want to wish Ashlee and Pete the best. Also, the wedding cake’s on me. It’ll be a delicious marble with equal parts typhoid, Al Qaeda and, because I love you guys, Criss Angel. Congrats!

UPDATE: Us Magazine got a “no comment” from Ashlee’s rep asking if there’s a bun in the oven. The rep instead pointed Us to the above comment from Friends or Enemies. And, fuck, these two reproduced. Super. Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue – but not the wrong day to quote Airplane. I win!

Photos: Getty Images

  1. in the night

    Who says romance is dead? If that giant chin with a Simpson attached can find love there must be hope for us all. And with the medical breakthroughs we get seemingly by the week, maybe one day the giant chin can get the Simpson growth removed and lead a fairly normal life. And that would be the sweetest gift of all.

  2. mcsandwich

    I know, I know, I know it’s an absolutely pointless endeavor to correct Ashlee’s grammar BUT “speculation recently about Pete and I” (sic) should read “Pete and me.”

  3. riiiiggghhhttt

    #5 = comment winner.


  4. .

    friends or enemies was around a whole lot longer than ashlee simpson. it’s not something that is theirs.

  5. Assmosis

    @53, I’m packing your back

    These two are going to produce one hell of a phossy-jawed baby

  6. david

    My friend told me that she saw her profile with hot photos on intimatemingle.c om. Is that true? Maybe… OMG, is she looking for new relationships? I’ll check it out.

  7. Anal Fistula

    #52 dominates!

  8. hes a fag

    She must have the lowest self esteem ever, I mean like you all pointed out, he is short ugly a fucking fruit and his music sucks, wtf … I am guessing he will come out of the closet and she will feel like complete crap and she will still commit to this crap cause she will feel worse than she looks lol….

  9. robyn

    Their spawn will be nothing but a giant chin

  10. They look like twins. Ew.

  11. gotmilk?

    they want their fans to be the first to know, you mean besides everyone else they know?

    do you think they argue who’s going to use the straightening iron first?

  12. duhhh

    her dad probably made them get engaged because her album is coming out, and people like to buy engaged people’s albums and stuff.. like, y’know, heidi montag…

    next week she’ll be endorsing dennis kucinich or something

  13. MP

    Ashlee, get that stringy-ass hair off your forehead. A) It looks greasetastic, not cool, and B) you’re going to get some RAGING acne.

  14. MP

    Ashlee, get that stringy-ass hair off your forehead. A) It looks greasetastic, not cool, and B) you’re going to get some RAGING acne.

  15. weirdo

    He’s the gayest looking motherfucker I’ve ever seen.

  16. L

    HAHA, I thought maybe it was just me, but I’m not the only one who thinks Simpson’s chin is out of control!! Tame that thing, please.

  17. L

    AND # 21,
    SHIT! I could not have said it better myself. Thank you. For reading my mind.

  18. jc

    they look alike! lol

  19. I don’t like that boy.

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