This Arnold Schwarzenegger Christmas Party Video Will Melt Your Goddamn Mind

December 21st, 2012 // 24 Comments
Arnold Schwarzenegger Christmas Party
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Above is a vintage, and from henceforth classic, Arnold Schwarzenegger video from some sort of ill-advised Christmas party where he literally tells a room full of children that in Austria, instead of Santa, the fucking DEVIL appears in your room at night and tells you everything you did wrong while swinging chains at you. He then follows that up by making Mike Tyson and Danny DeVito show up and shout/sing into their goddamn faces. Also, look for a surprisingly non-Predator-faced Maria Shriver to dance into the room and immediately dance right back out once she realizes everyone in there is getting groped starting with the elderly woman who, Maria will eventually concede, was asking for it in those orthopedic shoes. “Hur ahs velt like da pudding,” Arnold explained.

h/t Buzzfeed

superficial

  1. Cock Dr

    Thank U for the holiday mind melting opportunity; considering the male lead of the special I will have to decline.

  2. JC

    “But if you vere a gud boy, then ze maid vill come in after Zatan leaves and make it all better.”

  3. Was this filmed in the house from Home Alone 1?

    The stairs look strangely familiar…

  4. Where was Sarah Connor when we really needed her?

  5. Deacon Jones

    lol, that was terrifying.

    The producer was probably doing coke in the bathroom and was like “perfect, that’s a wrap, im fucking out here!”

  6. Doctor_Joystick

    At the 1:52 mark, there’s no way that kid lived to actually see Christmas.

  7. Vinnie

    How many of these kids are his?

  8. It doesn’t quite have the charm or camp value of two hours of Wookiee-speak.

    Also, was that Randy Travis? I can’t tell: this guy’̶s̶ ̶s̶o̶b̶e̶r̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ has his clothes on.

    • Schmidtler

      They only shot him from the waist up, so it is entirely possible Randy Travis was observing his tradition of spending the holidays shitfaced on moonshine and pantsless. I know I am.

  9. Maria Shriver may have looked normal, but Eunice Shriver was there to let Maria know what her future held. Damn genetics!

  10. Wait, that was real? I kept waiting for Jimmy Fallon to come grinning into the frame.

  11. Well- I know what my new Christmas tradition is. I have a feeling my son isn’t going to like it nearly as much.

  12. Brian

    Thank you for posting this fish. I think everythingisterrible is my new favorite website. Best Christmas present yet.

  13. El Jefe

    What the fuck did I just watch? What the fuck???

  14. Ahhh-nold looked so damn young in that video. You’d think by now his English would be better.

  15. ilona

    hahahaha that was hilarious! and weird, were they serious???

  16. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    I almost didn’t recognise Tyson without his jail-time hardened face & tattoo.

  17. IRONMANAustralia

    Jesus Jiminy Crickets! What the fuck did I just watch?

  18. Pinkytucadero

    Way better than a bowling ball. Thanks, fish

  19. lea

    this is so fucked up i dont know what else to say .

  20. Joanne

    wow did he have to do community service or was there A big pile of cocaine in the other room?!!! WOW

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