if the jewelry represents things that are important to her she should also have a golden miniature of her father's penis.

I just hope those two special kids get back together!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!

BFD.

I wear a piece of something from all my victims, I mean boyfriends, of the past. Of course I have arthritis of the neck from all my bling-bling. Just like Boyle! I love being a slut.

her lips just keep getting bigger and bigger....

If she had a brain upstairs and was able to think for herself, she'd fire her father, take all her money and grab Nick only to run, run, run somewhere far, so they'd have a decent change at living, "Happily Ever After" ... her father is too controlling and has too much to say, Ashley and Jessica are his puppets.

Now she is a hottie. This is what all you fatties should be striving for. Remember, Land-Man's anaconda don't want none if you're a fat damn pig.

#1 very funny. you should be first all the time so that these douches can stop saying "first" everytime they are first.

JSLTC!

And, I wouldn't be surprised if she cried herself to sleep eachnight, hating her life- not belonging to "Her" ... she'll have a nervous breakdown soon and disappear while Miriah did for a while ...

Something tells me that your neck arthritis isn't from bling-bling...And for the record, when a guy takes you out to his car so you can blow him and then never calls you again, he's not your boyfriend....possibly the victim of a bad hummer, but not your boyfriend.

PS. I want my pineapple air freshener and my Styx tape back.

How many collogens had to die so she could have those lips?

Next time I see her, the only jewelry she will be wearing is a pearl necklace.

And I'll ejaculate on her.

#1 is just a sicko. Yet I Guess Jessica's father is too. If anything should be on the chain it's a can of tuna. Ha Ha Ha?

But... this picture is nearly two months old. It's been on the net forever - it's hardly recent.

I wear Suri's placenta as a chain around my neck. It's important to me...and to the swarm of flies.

Also on the necklace:
1 half of a broken heart with the letters "BFF"
A shell she found in a potted plant at the dentist's office
A Dora the Explorer toy she found in her box of Captain Crunch
A locket with a picture of dad's scrotum

Katie Holmes would have a hard time getting a ring on her neck. I heard Tom bought a size four and he neck is definitely a six. If she's wearing things that are important to her, that goes a long way to explaining the dollar bill stapled on her ass (which her dad also dreams of wearing as a hat).

#1 - I love the golden dad penis, it's my favorite Monopoly piece.

LandMan, we get it. No one wants you either. I thought it was an unspoken thing, but you made me say it. Oh and since I know you're probably inexperienced when it comes to sex, but if you look at the post above yours at #12, that's already been done.

@16
That locket also contains one of dad's pubes and a tiny schmear of dad's smegma. Mmmmm smegma. Who wants a bagel?

could someone ring her neck then? ha.

No no no no. They got this story all wrong. She is not wearing her wedding ring, she is wearing a COCK ring around her neck. The same one that Johnny Knoxville used when he was pummeling that thang for 4 hours straight.

do me next papa. i loooovvveee pearl necklaces. in fact, i wore one last night, just washed it off this morning.

I wonder if MeganHarris would give me her Hello Kitty labia ring to wear on a chain around my neck?

i understand jessica also still wears nick's ballz around her neck...you just can't see them in that pic...gherkin...

#9.. sorry Otto. I forgot to take my dentures out with you. I'll drop your stuff off behind the dumpster in the Hooters parking lot, where I blew you.

Jessica's retarded, need I say more?

I like my bagels toasted with smegma and labia. It's a Kabballah tradition. SOM.

Why don't you leave Jacq? Land-Man is the toast of these boards. You unfunny fuck, my last post was intentional retard.

@25

"need I say more?"

No.

Man, who can possibly focus on the rings when there are disgustingly huge juicy....

Lips in that photo? The girl needs to back off with the botox, the balloon lips makes her look like a woman who slept in a beehive.

@27

Fool, please. Jacq's funny, you're not. It's a simple equation, really.

See, where a-b=c

The Superficial - LandMan= Way funnier.

That isn't a ring. It's a battery incase she shuts down during a press photo they can quickly have a spare on had to start her up again.

I'm glad to see that Land-Man is "intentionally retarded". I would hate to think that he didn't have a choice in the matter. Some choose retardation, others have it thrust upon them. Good choice Land-Man, stupidity suits you.

That was hilarious mamacita, that equation thing. HAHA you dumb cunt. Fuck you.

Anyone think this "separation and divorce" is yet another publicity stunt for their crappy show? "Newlyweds II - Back and Better Than Ever!!!!1one"

@33

Wow, you're really on a roll today. This is the most unoriginal you've ever been. I think I liked you better when you were maligning my home town of Crapville.

P.S. I may be a dumb cunt, but you're a thunder cunt.

I really wish she'd go away. Far, far away. Preferably off a cliff, down a deep jagged chasam. I mean, what the hell do we need to keep her sullen, brooding, fish-lipped ass around for anyway. Svengali-Joe has got a Jess clone all lined up. Check it out (it's the 1st pic with the pink background): http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/ashlee_jessica_simpson/index.html

34 - Wait for it. Either that or a new shocking relationship with Justin Timblerlake, Brooke Burke, Johnny Knoxville, or Pink - for either. Wouldn't it be great if Pink and Jessica hooked up? I should work in PR...

that bitch is wearing my sunglasses...

#27 - "Toast of these boards"?!?!?! Bwha-ha-ha! You're toast alright. We've got our sights set on you.

You think wearing Nick's wedding ring around her neck is tacky? She turned his cock ring into a brooch.

What's a thunder cunt? Is that supposed to be offensive? Christ...

@41

What? Are you and Land-Man like, BFF or something? And yes, thunder cunt is supposed to be offensive, yet funny (kind of like a cabbage fart). I'm sorry I didn't reach the level of offensiveness that you did in this little gem from the Kelly Clarkson thread :

"There's nothing wrong with being from Britain. It's not the greatest place in the world but hey, at least I'm not black."

but maybe after a few years of suckling at your racist teat, I can learn.

@41

P.S. Don't say this "Christ...". Jesus doesn't like bigoted assholes.

for those of you who wanted a tom shirt...

http://www.cafepress.com/cp/store.aspx?s=suburbangypsy.1375539

First of all, that's not even Nick's wedding ring. That's the promise ring he gave me before we got married. The media gets things all wrong. whoops!

Do you guys get the idea that her dad tried to fuck all her friends while she was growing up? "Not Ashley's friends, they were the ugly goth kids because Ashley is very punk and edgy"

MeganHarris is obviously someone either working for the Superficial or purposely posting this crap. I just can't concieve that a person could actually be this stupid. If you are pretending to suffer from Down's Syndrome, you are doing a great job.
But if you are really this stupid, then we can all quit having faith in God because no God of mine would have created a human this fucking ignorant.

Don't listen to mamacita, Princess Di's Ghost. Nobody likes her and she posts unfunny shit all the time. Land-Man's got your back budy.

@17

I like to make the golden dad penis monopoly piece poke the golden tuna can piece. Free Parking.

That's just strange, bizarre & hurtful.
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/

Here is my breakdown of some of the regulars here:
1-Land-Man, NewGuy, ItallionStallion, Papa, Osh, Jacq: all varying degrees of funny
2-mamacita: is probably pretty funny but tries too hard and also kisses osh & papa's ass too much; bickers and talks shit, which is boring
3-krisdylee: seriously wants to fuck papa
4-MeghanHarris: the True Master of the Superficial (or the biggest moron of all?)

Now go ahead and talk shit about me, I don't care.

MeganHarris is the master of the coffee house where she writes bad poetry and talks about art house films with gay guys in tight black T-shirts. Seriously, she's really popular there.
I am the MasterBaiter. I am also known as the master debater as I debate with myself pretty much non-stop.
Everyone else just falls inbetween somewhere.
Clearing things up for those who were mislead in the '06,
oshy-kosh

really, this place is like the cafeteria in junior high. or middle school, whatever

thundercunt .... still funny even the next day!

If only she wore my hand as a necklace.. I would love to be groping those incredible jugs that she has..

Say what you want about Jessica, she is hot.... Anyone that says otherwise is a hater...

a tacky catholic middle school in suburban long island

#56 i was thinking more columbia, south carolina

http://et.tv.yahoo.com/celebrities/14489/

nick didn't even want a divorce... jessica just decided to tell him one day after a big awards ceremony...

he still loves her.. and she still loves him... her stupid ass divorced the one guy who'd ever marry her

tsk tsk tsk... it's partly her dad's fault.... well it could be ALL of her dad's fault.

#51 booface, I hope you're right about krisdylee wanting to fuck me. 'Cause whether she wanted it or not, I was going poontang shopping in her pants. At least now, I won't have that "rapist" label on me.

That ring is definitely Joe Simpson's Prince Albert. He gave it to her as a promise ring when he convinced her to divorce Nick and come "back into the fold"...

"Remember, Jess, how this felt the first time. You barely gagged at all..."

Anything to bring attention to those casavas is ok with me.

Fisher55 loves the cock.

WOW actually Jessica told Nick she was breaking up with him ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! That was a great gift if I only cared enough to know about it!

I am So sick of Jessica Simpson.

I am going to come through the computer screen and strangle the next person who says "loves the cock". Then I will shoot a load on them.

i loves the cock

Land-Man, you hit me right in the eye! Jackass

Land-Clam, you're an equal-opportunity load-blower?
We thought you only got hard for MeganHarris' dirty parts. Must've had you confused for BigJim, sorry.

@51

"Now go ahead and talk shit about me, I don't care."

Naah. I don't want to try too hard, kiss anyone's ass, bicker, or talk any shit. Cause, you know, that shit is boring.

If this site is going to be taken over by retards I'm going to have to actually work to earn my pay, and there is No Way we can let that happen.

I am Jessica Simpson. OshKosh.

click on my name on this post. It Proves it!!! duuuh.

they have computers at the cum factory?

#41 - Want to see a thunder cunt? Look in the mirror. Or wait, can ghosts see themselves in the mirror?

#49 - You put the golden penis in Mr. Monopoly's rectum?! Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, to not collect $200. Hey, do you play where all of the money you pay to the community chest goes in the middle? Then you get all of it when you land on free parking? I love that.
And just so you know, I learned that they DO NOT take Monopoly currency at the gas station. But LandMan will take if off of your hands, since he's probably outside pandering. Then he'll use it to pay MeganHarris for the World's Toothiest BJ behind the dumpster.

MeganHarris, don't you have a poetry slam or a Good Charlotte concert you should be attending? I really feel like you're not hearing me when I say I'm going to rip open your back with a sickle and fill the inside with crack rocks, sew you back up, and throw you in Whitney Houston's drug den. You should try to be a better listener.

@74

It's hard for her to listen because her helmet blocks her ears.

@75 that and the screams of the little boys "she" keeps in cages in the basement.

does anyone even care about her anymore?

If she got back together with Nick I would be very surprised.

If she gets back with him, I would be very surprised.

Word up, she is dumb yo. Yoz, Iz gonna go ball at Venice Beach Park and shit yo.

if nick is such an important part of her life then why did she divorce him?!

i really hope they get back together. if they can't make it, then no one in hollywood can :(

#74-76 - It is also hard to hear when you have your fingers in your ears all of the time, screaming LALALALALALALA! Because if you taken them out, people only tell you that they want to slice you with a sickle and LandMan puts his micropenis in your ear.

my cunt graduated at the top of the class... what's that called? poontang cum loudly?

and yes, papa could leave crumbs in between my sheets, anyday.

damn, why is my mouse in my panties again?

So what's next on her tacky chain of lucky charms? A lock of Joe's pubic hair?

Sorry @84 - 16 & 18 had that covered. But, yes. It is.

Hahaha thanks Trotter. Great minds ....

#29 A nobody- you read my mind

Of course, I still think it isn't her wedding ring, rather it is Joe Simpson's Prince Albert. He gave it to her as a promise ring when he convinced her to divorce Nick and come "back into the fold"...

"Remember, Jess, how this felt the first time. You barely gagged at all..."

(I cheated, I wrote that at 60)

I saw MeganHarris eating her own feces the other day.

MeganHarris eats her own feces.

Why, why Superficial.com? WHY must you make me look like an ass? I guess it could be worse. I could be a blond robot wearing Joe Simpson's cock ring on a chain around my neck.

Here's another rumour - you know how Britney Spears is supposedly a virgin? I know that's a lie because I totally did her. ;)

Joe takes it up the doughnut from Drew Lachey. I saw it on "Dancing With the Stars".

@93
Me too. Joe was all, "Call me Mimi! I'll be Mimi!". Hot.

aww thats not a ring that's Nick's penis belt