first post yeahhhh bitchh

I have a feeling Paris may have also discovered - it's better to be flat chested than flat broke.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over Paris's mouth.

How is THAT flat-chested? She's a B-Cup. The term "flat-chested" should only be used for AA-cups or even sometimes A-cups. But definitely not B-Cups. Those are a handful, which basically cancels the whole "flat" thing, if you're able to grop them properly.

whore

It's a shame that she and Nicole Richie aren't friends anymore. "No-Bosom" buddies is more like it, really. They think just alike: http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2005/12/19/nicole_richie_hates_breasts_ea.html

Wow - I hate those glasses

Actually, she's quite well-endowed for a praying mantis.
"No-bosom buddies" - good one, #6!

what a crack whore!!! Just think when her 15 minutes are up she can clean toilet pipes with those arms

Now we know who stole Harry Caray's sun glasses.

Her arm looks like a chicken bone after I eat all the meat off of it...

Unfortunately, I don't think Paris is limited to 15 minutes of fame in the public eye because 1) She's really wealthy and unless she gives all her money away, wealth keeps you famous if you want to be famous and 2) she comes from a pretty famous family that's not going out of the public's radar any time soon. And for those reasons, I hate her skank ass even more. And she doesn't have a good body, SHE'S JUST SKINNY! (I've seen better boobs on men).

Her gully hole has to be an STD breeding ground!

Skank!

#11 Best damn giggle of the day, thank you.

You know, a "kumquat" is just a fruit, but it seems like an apropos moniker for Paris. Doesn't it? Cum-cwat.

Oh my god, Paris Hilton makes me laugh! You think that was funny? Check this out...unbelievable!
http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com/celebrity_religion/2006/04/no_fing_way.html
I sooooo hope it is true!

This is an outrage!! Every woman should obsess over the size of her breasts and wonder constantly if they are big enough, firm enough, high enough, round enough, mine enough. We've got a lot of problems in this world and we're not going to solve any of them with flat-chested women. You name me one thing a woman with small breasts has ever done. Just one thing. Yeah, I knew it. Nothing. Only women with gigantic hooters have anything to offer society.

I'm very disappointed in Paris Hilton for saying she's happy with small breasts. Previously, based on her public comments and demeanor, I'd assumed Miss Hilton to be a sensible and virtuous citizen of our great and ancient republic. Now...I don't know what to think. She's warping the minds of young girls, fooling them into believing they can be small-breasted and still have a life worth living.

Paris Hilton is worse than Osama Bin Laden. At least he appreciates the value of a dame with a nice big rack. You think any of those 72 virgins Osama is looking forward to in Heaven are members of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee? No way.

So, just to sum up:

Tiny Titties < Surgically-enhanced maracas
Paris Hilton < Osama Bin Laden.

I hate to say it, but you know what? Yes, she's a skanky whore, but I still think she's got nice titties. Nothing wrong with small boobs. Granted, I'm scared of what I could catch just from looking at them, but still.

It's true, Spence. The only thing that makes life worth living as a female are your breasts. I'm constantly on the brink of suicide.

Can Herpes be passed through breast-milk?

Doesn't she seem rather large chested for such a skinny everything else. Like maybe, just maybe, not her own. All of my anorexic friends are totally flat chested. Just saying.

Fucking Paris Hilton is like throwing a toothpick in the Lincoln Tunnel. ZING! She is a whore!

being one of the small-breasted women in the world, i do agree, it's great to have small titties.... but for fuck's sake paris, i'd be more concerned with that grappling hook of a nose you got going on there... yoiks...

Sounds like Paris is trying to convince herself, because everyone else knows that big boobs are awesome.

Tip to Paris: Even small breasts will sag without a bra. Hold 'em up once in a while, or you'll be tripping on them by the time you're 40. ...If you make it to 40.

# 20... in her case, Nature will obviously make an exception in the affirmative. Her child, if she can still concieve, will be lucky to be born without choking on 20 other guys spunk.

This is sorta an old news clip. She talked about her boobs and breast enhancement in Rolling Stone two years ago. Still, the "Zing" made my day. Yay for being Superficial.

#25 -- choking on spunk!! Delicious.

She is a stork-faced, titless baboon child.

Besides herpes, syphlilus, and gonorrhea, her vagina spreads absolute fear. I hope the water she is standing in is a huge vat of penicillen and it cleanses her monkey enough that it no longer contributes to the demise of all mankind.

The only difference between this hooker and a bucket of shit is the bucket.

those are implants, she got them a few monthes ago

no amount of breasts could make this stick attractive anyways.

Dearest Paris, I know it's very hard to understand the difference between like and hate. But let me help you. Usually when people LIKE something they don't fuck with it. When people HATE something, they change it. You HATED being flat Paris, that's why you got a boob job. I hope this helps.

http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com/

#4 I agree. Those look like full Bs to me, same as Mischa Barton has - and people who say they are "flat-chested" clearly do not get out much.

Flat-chested is AA-cups, meaning there's not much there.

She's totally not flat chested. Those are respectable sized boobs.

The good money says that as soon as Paris ages a bit those fake breasts will magically appear. There is nothing like a massive set of perfectly round hooters to take a guy's eyes off a woman's face.

How could I have missed Paris' boob job? Good find, SuperSonicsGirl.

I guess I was always distracted by the vacuous stink-hole that is her vagina.

http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/005189.html
http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com

stupid plastic crazy whore!!

I hope her enhanced itty bitty titties self implode and the saline creates a toxic reaction with the 47 382 147 STD's ravaging her fugly body and she dies. Simple.

I can't believe how skinny Elton John looks in that picture, pretty crazy.

Did she mistake her Ecstacy with Trim Spa?

I don't understand what she means about not having to wear bras. A lot of busty celebrities don't wear bras either. And they manage to be slightly less skanky. Which is really, really easy. Less skanky than Paris is like being less dead than, um, some dead guy.

I can't stand to look at the anorexicnoassSTDinfestedskankwhoremonger. I think I will go gouge out my own eyes with a spoon now.

After not wearing a bra for another ten years, those little babies are going to be saggarriffic.

And I think she's pretty flat-chested. If she's a full B, then Nicole Richie weighs over 8 ounces.

Herpes in the water!Herpes in the water!Herpes in the water!Herpes in the water!Herpes in the water!

Get out NoW!!!!

And the reason she dosen't like underwear is because she dosen't want to inhibit the parasites who live on her cooch from moving on. Zing! She has herpes! And she's a whore!

Does she has herpies mean anything to anyone?

She is nothing but a homewrecking, std carrying, nasty insecure be-otch.

No but really what do you think about her..

im glad she likes being "fat", but how does she feel about being a big o' whore with a rat nose and goblin-shaped head?

mmm... I mean...
"I like being a moron. I think it’s super-hot. I never have to wear a brain."
"When I was 13, I really wanted a brain job because all my friends started to have brains and I was the only one who looked like an animal."

Poor girl. Judging from the grimace on her face, she's really finding it difficult to stand with her legs closer than three yards apart.

Stop it! She's beautiful! She can't help it if she's stupid.

So what if she has herpes. Just wrap that rascal. On the other hand, how cool would it be to impregnate her? So cool.

#15

You mean "cum-Twat" right?

I always knew she had a penis. She's a freak show.

Am I the only one who finds it disturbing that all her friends were getting boob jobs before they'd even finished puberty?? There's something wrong with that.

aw man... what a pansy... i have big purty 36Ds and i never have to wear a bra. ;)

How is THAT flat? If she has no breasts, why do they keep popping out of her shirt every chance they get? It's like they're trying to escape...

Don't they know better? There's no escape from Paris...not for you, nor I...

OK...enough with the FIRST POST BS please!!! If you're going to be first, than say something YDA!!!

#51 - Thanks for the interesting visual. Now I'm imagining 13 year olds with boob jobs shopping at Delias and giggling over boys.

If you re-read, you'll see she's saying her friends were growing boobs, not getting boob jobs. Although if there is ever a plastic surgeon who would agree to operate on a 13 year old and give her a boob job, I'm drop kicking him straight to hell.

Uhm, she's not that flat, look at her former "better" half. Now that's looking like a boy. Paris is just a disgusting slut. The next step after the tummy tuck is getting a boob-job, then Paris will be complete and we can make fun of her till she disappears!

So wait, she was actually talking instead of scratching her crotch? The plot thickens.

Double zing to that. She's such a whore... gross!

Does anyone else think it's a shame that Paris and her entire immediate family is dragging the family reputation through the dirt?

Conrad Hilton was a decent guy. He founded his own business, used his money to create one of the most lucrative humanitarian awards in the world, and--most importantly--left his asshole son out of the will and gave most of money to charity. Then the son successfully contests the will and uses the money to raise two of the biggest whores on the planet and what appears to be two retarded and latently homosexual sons. Couldn't the kids have just taken a dump on his grave? That would have at least been more respectful.

Those goggle glasses that are so fuckin "in" right now look absolutely retarded on every single person who wears them. You couldn't pay me to showcase that goofy windshield fad on my face.
Bet you ten bucks the tables will turn and within a year everyone will be wearing these teeny tiny spectacles on the tip of their noses. Or a monocle.

#55
You're absolutely right. I'm slightly less disturbed now knowing that only Paris wanted a boob job when she was 13. But then that's to be expected. Even at 13 she was looking forward to future whoredom.

I love Paris in the Springtime... I also love drowining kittens in Elmer's glue while I listen to Kidd Kraddick and have Fran Drescher impersonators repeatedly poke me in the face with forks to see if I'm "done".

Hey #48, you think she really has a uterus? I picture her having more of a Wendy's drive through window in there...

I bet if an intrepid group of explorers ventured into that stretched out stink hole between her legs they'd find: Tinkerbell, a decaying monkey that started the Ebola virus, dozens of rusty tounge piercings, several watches and an entirely new life form which will come to be known as a "Snatch Weasel" which, miraculously, will be immune to every known form of STD on the planet.

Uh, Oshkosh... You're my new hero.

Porcupine!
For those who don't know, if she had as many coming out of her as she's had in her - she'd look like a porcupine.

Good thing she's got that hook-nose to keep her ugly-ass glasses from falling to reveal her wonky eye.

hey sweetcheeks, how about cum-filled-twat?

That's interesting #59. I didn't know about the award.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conrad_N._Hilton_Humanitarian_Prize

(I think the family gene pool may have been watered down a touch )

This is an honest-to-god new headline from msnbc.com.

"Paris considered for Mother Teresa role".

She is being considered because of her 'facial resemblance' to the nun.

Mother Teresa is rolling in her grave now.

Eh, usually what she says is worthy of ridicule, but since I'm always bemoaning how my big boobs require me to have every damn shirt I buy tailored, I have to give her a pass.

On the other hand, it's chicks like her that make all clothing designers put their shirts out in tiny sizes meant for flat-chested little boys instead of real women with real tits. So F**K her.

Eh, usually I find what she says deserving of ridicule. But since I'm always bemoaning the fact that my boobs require every shirt I buy to be tailored, I have to say I can't blame her for being glad she's flat-chested. In fact, I'm envious.

Then again, people like her are the reason I can't find any shirts made to fit a real woman with real tits, so f**k her.

That sound you were is a Herpes Blister Sizzling in the hot sun.

#69 - Bet she's spinning so fast that she could reverse the Earth's rotation. The difference is that Ma Teresa didn't have to pay to look like that.

I think the headline should have read a little more like this:
"Paris loves to fuck, like, a boy"

ryan seacrest??? is that you????

by the way thats nicole richie in that picture not paris

Her hair looks really shit there, and so do her glasses

I never knew that Dachau had a swimmin' hole. Eeesh, there were concentration camp survivors that had more meat on their bones than her.

Not much of a story here. Papa made the trip worth it, though.

Paris, eat a F*****' donut so your newly fake titties don't weigh you down. Plus, you need the strength to hold that ever-present cell phone to your freaky ear.

#28 and 30- you took the words right out of my mouth. i recalled going to www.goodplasticsurgery.com and seeing that she definitely had work done. there is no doubt that she had surgery. she's wearing the same exact dress and the latter picture she looks way more bustier in. figures she says something like this right after she gets work done... hypocrite

she makes it sound like she doesn't have implants. she does--small ones! better than going the tori spelling route, but you're not fooling anyone, paris.

Implants or no - I'll bet you could grate about 3 lbs of cheese on her sternum. And then some lemon zest.

im pretty small myself, a regular B, and i LOVE it!! i never wanted implants, they would look absolutly ridiculous on my 5-foot frame!!!!
and, #s--31, baronness hit the nail on the head, 13--GREAT ONE!!!, 38-- im so with on that one!!!!! i love it, all your comments rule! 18-- i totally agree with you 20-- i cant stop laughing!!! and 64--that was the BEST!!! so much TRUTH to that statement, M@ce!!!!!

Bras are not worn to cover the chest, but to lift them up, cause when they're big they get saggier with age and when they're small that sagginess shows much less. But that doesn't mean you *can't* wear a bra, espacially when your dress is transparent and falls off when the wind blows...that seems to be in Paris' rule book.

Bras are not worn to cover the chest, but to lift them up, cause when they're big they get saggier with age and when they're small that sagginess shows much less. But that doesn't mean you *can't* wear a bra, espacially when your dress is transparent and falls off when the wind blows...that seems to be in Paris' rule book.