April 06, 2006
Heather Locklear and David Spade might be dating
Us Weekly is making the pretty outrageous claim that Heather Locklear has hooked up with David Spade after divorcing from Richie Sambora. They share the same manager and have been friends for some time, and were reportedly seen kissing while hanging out with some friends in West Hollywood. David recently declined to comment during the April 2 premiere of his new movie The Benchwarmers.
There are a few problems I have with this story, the first being that David refused to comment on their relationship. I've never even met Heather Locklear but that doesn't stop me from telling everybody I know I made out with her twice. Secondly, he's David Spade. His idea for a first date is probably dressing up as Legolas and running around the room breaking things with his toy sword.
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Comments
1. Posted by Devil Is Chrome on April 6, 2006 05:06 PM
This...can't...be...true....
Kissing him would be like making out with your little brother.
Ugh....
2. Posted by ♥ shhexycorin ♥ on April 6, 2006 05:06 PM
Is he the ugly idiot BeeGee brother?
3. Posted by that-dog-is-shifty-eyed on April 6, 2006 05:06 PM
As if Richie Sambora is some friggin' catch. I saw Bon Jovi once (I know) and I couldn't stop thinking "what a bunch of fags" the whole time. I would pick David over Richie anyday.
4. Posted by shankyouverymuch on April 6, 2006 05:08 PM
Wow-wow-wee... First!
Lets see... Tom Lee- Richie Sambora- David Spade!?!?! Yeah, that seems about right.
5. Posted by neophyte on April 6, 2006 05:10 PM
I used to masturbate to Heather Locklear, but all along I had a real chance.
6. Posted by MystressJade on April 6, 2006 05:11 PM
What the hell is she thinking? Could she be that desperate?
7. Posted by ziggurat on April 6, 2006 05:17 PM
David Spade isn't funny enough to make up this joke
8. Posted by krisdylee on April 6, 2006 05:17 PM
ferrets can find love too... how wonderful
9. Posted by Glossed Over on April 6, 2006 05:20 PM
I'm just waiting for the Wilmer Valderrama-esque revelations about Spade's manhood. That may be the only possible explanation for this guy's dating history.
10. Posted by Rosemary on April 6, 2006 05:32 PM
Seriously, I've had a crush on David Spade since high school. I just can't help it, I'm oddly attracted to him...
11. Posted by gogoboots on April 6, 2006 05:32 PM
I am dubious, he is such a loser and well, Heather isn't exactly a winner, but at least she's been a size 3 since she was 17.
12. Posted by bafongu on April 6, 2006 05:45 PM
Wasn't Spade with Julie Bowen from "Ed"??? Jumbo lump crab meat has a chance with these hollwood floozies....
13. Posted by Spindoc on April 6, 2006 05:51 PM
So she's decided to date the only man on the panet who weighs less than she does? Heather, go buy a dildo instead of dating one.
14. Posted by BarbadoSlim on April 6, 2006 05:53 PM
I can't believe how this smarmy little asshole gets all this quality pussy.
I tip my hat to you sir...assho..
15. Posted by justlikehoney1 on April 6, 2006 05:57 PM
Who the hell goes from filet mignon to hamburger helper? This better be a totally made up story. He is gross! I know women like men who make them laugh but NO ONE is that funny. Either he hired a Heather Locklear look-alike or it was really Heather Locklear and she's clearly been smoking and snorting some really powerful shit lately.....
16. Posted by Douchebag1 on April 6, 2006 06:03 PM
Anyone have a photo? Sounds like another candidate for my blog:
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.blogspot.com/
17. Posted by PostmanR on April 6, 2006 06:08 PM
whhhhy?!?!?!
18. Posted by sometimesboy on April 6, 2006 06:20 PM
ah...i KNEW it !!! heather locklear is a lesbian !!! i'll bet these chicks are HOT behind closed doors....
if you're into that kinda thing...
...which i'm not...
19. Posted by sometimesboy on April 6, 2006 06:20 PM
ah...i KNEW it !!! heather locklear is a lesbian !!! i'll bet these chicks are HOT behind closed doors....
if you're into that kinda thing...
...which i'm not...
20. Posted by sometimesboy on April 6, 2006 06:22 PM
ah...i KNEW it !!! heather locklear is a lesbian !!! i'll bet these chicks are HOT behind closed doors....
if you're into that kinda thing...
...which i'm not...
21. Posted by playahater101 on April 6, 2006 06:22 PM
Is this a joke?
22. Posted by Italian Stallion on April 6, 2006 06:23 PM
If this is true, someone, please, "Just Shoot Me"
23. Posted by lamist on April 6, 2006 06:29 PM
David Spade is the thinnest, shortest guy I have ever seen. I think he's funny, but in real life he is ugly. I don't understand his appeal to all the gorgeous Hollywood actresses.
24. Posted by cibby on April 6, 2006 06:30 PM
David Spade is pretty irritating, but his monologue about the iPod was pretty on-spot.
There was a point - in high school, I think - where I wondered if Heather Locklear was a real person, or a perfect computer recreation of a beautiful woman.
25. Posted by CancerNipples on April 6, 2006 06:31 PM
Heather Locklear sucks. What has she ever done that anyone cares about? She's not even hot, she's very average-looking.
Bon Jovi (band, all members) sucks ass and nobody cares about them.
David Spade sucks ass and nobody cares about him.
Everything seems to be in order here.
26. Posted by Conductor71 on April 6, 2006 06:37 PM
David Spade is just Heather Locklear with a beard
27. Posted by krisdylee on April 6, 2006 07:00 PM
that just goes to show you, the early bird (that resembles a plucked chicken) gets the worm (that is a talent-less bleached blonde who used to be hot in 1986.)
mm. not so funny, but hey, whatever
28. Posted by hotintempe on April 6, 2006 07:03 PM
Just another beautiful Hollywood lesbian couple....I love America
29. Posted by Grphdesi23 on April 6, 2006 07:18 PM
David Spade and Heather Locklear are dating in the same way Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest are dating.
It's called an existant/non-existant relationship. I heard they last the longest.
30. Posted by krisdylee on April 6, 2006 07:20 PM
where is newguy these last few posts? crying into his spunk-crusted sheets, bemoaning the fact that nobody likes him??
31. Posted by Trotter on April 6, 2006 07:32 PM
Wait. This guy is so incredibly gay. Must be a Scientologist conspiracy or something. Does Heather know how to use an ass-blaster?
32. Posted by Trotter on April 6, 2006 07:33 PM
Newguy is off at the Boy Scout store buying "supplies" for his next outing with the troop.
33. Posted by MissAppropriated on April 6, 2006 08:04 PM
Whoopee - welcome to the latest installment of "Who gives a Flying Fuck?" Daily.
I hear Heather Locklear is the latest over-the-hill has-been rumoured to be joining the cast of Desperate Housewives. I can just see her and Teri Hatchet-Face arm wrestling for the most lines while David Spade and Ryan Seacrest argue over who's hotter - Judy Garland or Barbra Streisand.
34. Posted by a concerned fan on April 6, 2006 08:12 PM
Dude must be hung like a great dane. Only explanation.
35. Posted by MissAppropriated on April 6, 2006 08:13 PM
Or Tom Cruise
36. Posted by Tracy on April 6, 2006 08:37 PM
She's cute and little, he's cute and little. I think they're well matched.
37. Posted by Jacq on April 6, 2006 08:50 PM
Why are there two pictures of David Spade? Are they both actual size?
38. Posted by Roxie on April 6, 2006 09:08 PM
Spade gets a lotta tail. Here's a pic of his last girlfriend ...
http://kisskissandallthat.blogspot.com/2006/04/vote-for-worlds-ugliest-dog.html
39. Posted by Discordia on April 6, 2006 09:20 PM
Could be worse. It could be Steve Buscemi.
40. Posted by Equalparts on April 6, 2006 09:25 PM
Hey girls, I banged David Spade once. He may be skinny and look like the type of guys with spittle cake in the corners of his mouth. But boy, that man sure knows how to rock the nonny. Romantic, rich, cute enough, with a mammoth wang. I was singing high notes for two weeks.
41. Posted by BigJim on April 6, 2006 09:32 PM
"It may not be very long, but it sure is skinny!"
-David Spade, talking about his penis.
Seriously, Heather must have become asexual to hook up with this male impersonator.
42. Posted by MizScarlett on April 6, 2006 09:39 PM
Combined number of Locklear/Spade failed TV shows: 7.
Combined Locklear/Spade IQ: 97.
A rusty melon-baller so I can scoop my eyeballs out of their sockets and never see shit like this post again: Priceless
43. Posted by Dee on April 6, 2006 09:39 PM
noooooo, he might be girls best friend but thats about it...silly!
44. Posted by overcast on April 6, 2006 10:12 PM
OH THE HUMANITY
45. Posted by mtrox on April 6, 2006 10:21 PM
It looks like Locklear is sneezing in that picture. Before today, I would have said it was impossible to make David Spade look more attractive than Heather Locklear in a picture...color me wrong.
46. Posted by seaglass on April 6, 2006 10:34 PM
Gollum looks like David Spade without makeup.
47. Posted by Gerald Tarrant on April 6, 2006 10:39 PM
Heather Locklear and I might be dating. Hey, we might be. I'm taller, funnier, and better looking than Spade, the ratfaced boy.
48. Posted by MeganHarris on April 6, 2006 10:55 PM
awesome.. I love these wierd couples... it shows that these people are real.
49. Posted by Danni on April 6, 2006 11:02 PM
No way would she go out with him, he is such a goof-ball and she is such a Melrose Place bitch
50. Posted by derekd on April 6, 2006 11:07 PM
For a fifty year old broad?
I'd hit it!!
Since he has no comment,
David Spade can watch.
OOOOOOO! It'll be fun!
51. Posted by tonguepunch on April 7, 2006 12:28 AM
David is a dude and that's why he get all the girls.
52. Posted by CheekyChops on April 7, 2006 08:07 AM
He looks like Ellen.
53. Posted by Triumph Insult Dog on April 7, 2006 09:41 AM
Is she really gonna bang this guy?! She's break him in half! I know chihuahuas bigger than this guy...
54. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 7, 2006 09:49 AM
Chicks dig funny guys. Case it point - all these girls always throwing themselves at PapaHotNutz and for all they know he could be a triple amputee who has to jerk off with the same foot he uses to pick his nose.
And guys dig women who spend a lot of money on their looks because they look good. That's right ladies, time to get rich.
55. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 7, 2006 09:50 AM
Case "in" point. Pardon me. My word. Good Heavens.
56. Posted by Malakite on April 7, 2006 10:14 AM
Dude must be hung like a horse.
57. Posted by Evil Willow on April 7, 2006 10:38 AM
@ #30
Krisdylee, if you invoke he-who-must-not-be named, his little scrawny ass is bound to pop up. Kind of like Beetlejuice. And I don't have the proper exorcism spell.
58. Posted by discreet_chaos on April 7, 2006 10:46 AM
They can share a wardrobe.
I'm willing to bet that they wear the same size jeans.
59. Posted by aimatcha on April 7, 2006 01:55 PM
I cannot WAIT to watch The Showbiz Show with David Spade to see what sort of demeaning and insulting comments he is going to make about Heather Locklear's latest conquest. Oh wait....
60. Posted by BarbadoSlim on April 7, 2006 02:45 PM
I wouldn't be to sure about "girls" throwing themselves at the 'nutzter. 99.9 of the people here are fat unemployed males, the rest are all sorts trannies, midgets and assorted weirdos, maybe ONE of them is a chick....a fat one with a limp.
61. Posted by KoolAidMan on April 7, 2006 02:48 PM
I've seen David Spade twice in public. Both times he was accompanied by girls that were a 10+. Not "wow, that's pretty good for David Spade", or "yeah, famous guy with a hot chick, big deal", I'm talking a 10+ period.
Locklear seems like a step back compared to those.
62. Posted by my_glorious_lawn on April 7, 2006 02:52 PM
Good for her, he looks like a cross between Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora, if they mated. lol.
63. Posted by pixel killya on April 7, 2006 05:13 PM
LMAO at anyone that thinks Spade is hung like a horse! He has the finest wee bones and tiniest little girl hands...hung like a mouse is the more likely scenario.
Heather was hot in the TJ Hooker days...before she got the worst downward-pointing implants and got old.
64. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on April 7, 2006 05:32 PM
Mice are hot.
65. Posted by bunnyhugger on April 7, 2006 08:11 PM
#60
DAMN YOU, BARBADO!! you found me out! okay, so which leg am i limping on!!
and y'all have it all wrong. the short, ferret-faced funny guys are a good lay... they TRY harder!!
heh-heh.
and papa is kewl...
66. Posted by bunnyhugger on April 7, 2006 08:11 PM
#60
DAMN YOU, BARBADO!! you found me out! okay, so which leg am i limping on?
and y'all have it all wrong. the short, ferret-faced funny guys are a good lay... they TRY harder!!
heh-heh.
and papa is kewl...
67. Posted by bunnyhugger on April 7, 2006 08:13 PM
change that to CLUMSY fat girl with a limp...
damn double posts
68. Posted by bunnyhugger on April 7, 2006 08:13 PM
change that to CLUMSY fat girl with a limp...
damn double posts
69. Posted by beeotch on April 7, 2006 11:03 PM
That seals the deal. David Spade has a deal with the devil
70. Posted by Shelton Bumgarner on April 8, 2006 01:42 AM
This world is so wacky. I actually believe it's at least *possible* that the two could be dating. Of course, the only time I've seen a chick as hot as Heather Locklear with a short shlub like David Spade was here in Korea.
71. Posted by discreet_chaos on April 8, 2006 02:09 AM
#63 - pixel killya;
Heather was exceptionally hot, when the world first laid eyes on her crawling across a bed on "Dynasty" and she's held-up very well.
BTW: I didn't see Leno tonight, but in the monologue and in advance of Spade's appearance, he seemed to confirm the relationship.
72. Posted by Miss Gulch on April 8, 2006 04:24 PM
Doesn't look like she was too sorry to see hubby get the boot. I'm sure his getting that naughty e-mail from that woman was just too convenient for dumping him without a backward glance.
Now she's with David Spade. Too typical -- a Hollywood thing. She'll sleep with him for a week, milk it for a little publicity, make sure hubby sees the pix and feels like a sorry loser, then declare that she and Spade were just friends and Spade will be seen at the local hotel bar stool, disshelved and wondering what happened :::yawn:::
73. Posted by HughJorganthethird on April 9, 2006 07:48 AM
Maybe she was swimming and he asked her "Uh which way to the wieght room"
74. Posted by angryandparanoid on April 9, 2006 07:02 PM
David is HOT. He is in my top 4....
1) Rivers Cuomo
2) Kurt Cobain (dead guys rule)
3) Steve Buscemi
4) David Spade
75. Posted by sea-monkey snogs on April 28, 2006 08:45 PM
DUH! has anyone considered the fact that David Spade might be hording around a huge trouser trout?, OR the obvious.. "hey, he really is a f#@!ing hilarious guy" especially compared to (and i quote "RICHIE" unquote) Sambora. I mean REALLY of the 2 dudes which one sounds more like a little kid? well consider this.. it's DAVID not DAVIE Spade. it's RICHIE not RICH or RICHARD Sambora (although I'd prefer if he called himself by the OTHER "RICH" "RICHARD" variable... "DICK", it suits him) SHIT! can't we be happy for Mr. Spade? and Heather too? (if this story is even true??) but as for you ms. denise richards... hoping you'll read this (if you can read)RE: all the accusations & mud slinging you've been throwing to public about your hubby this past week isn't NEWS to anyone of us here on planet earth. (i mean DUH he did testify at hiedi fliess trial, uhhh... rumor has it that he likes women and partying, but shhh.. keep it on the downlow, no one knows, shhh!) Karma is a bitch as you're finding out ms. sneaky. NOT looking to "ms innocent" NOW... lol! you're a joke, a skank, selfish LYING BACKSTABBING CHEATING SCREW EVERYONE OVER EVEN YOUR "BEST" FRIEND LOSER.. (i'd rather be known for my "partying" like your hubby does/did/? than what you are now known for..) you make me sick
(WOW, i apologize to all reading this comment i just went OFF, i needed to vent, thank you all for allowing me to do so. i finally feel the need of carrying a gun to my postoffice subsiding. thank you again)
76. Posted by sea-monkey snogs on April 28, 2006 08:47 PM
one more thing! ! !
sambora IS a FAG with no personality... lose the feathered hair FAG!
oh and to the person who is comment no. 2.... THAT COMMENT IS FRIGGIN HILARIOUS
kudos!
okay, now i'm done!