March 02, 2006
Lil' Kim's boobs are exploding
Jailed rapper Lil' Kim and her breasts are fighting a battle to the death, and it appears the breasts are losing. "Apparently, she's worried her boobs are leaking," a source says. "She needs to have them serviced."
Kim is serving a year-long sentence at the Federal Detention Center in Philadelphia on perjury and conspiracy charges. Her rep swears she is "perfectly healthy," but sources say that she's confided to family members about a festering problem with her knockers.
I've always been perfectly willing to service her boobs. Although that might not be so great if they start shooting stuff at me like the Death Blossom in The Last Starfighter. I'm all for being healthy, but without gigantic boobs, Lil' Kim serves as much purpose as Magic Eye books for the blind.
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Comments
1. Posted by SuperSpence on March 2, 2006 10:00 AM
She should use those things to effect her escape from prison. All she has to do is walk around with her top off, which is pretty much what she was doing when she wasn't incarcerated. She drops the shirt and then scrambles over the wall while the guards are all too busy vomiting at the sight of viscous goo drippng out of her tommyknockers.
2. Posted by Binky on March 2, 2006 10:31 AM
Nothing worse than a leaking boob. Errr...,wait a sec, maybe this was my Jenny McCarthy story comment
3. Posted by Quiggie on March 2, 2006 10:47 AM
When does miss missy get out of jail?
4. Posted by TaiTai on March 2, 2006 10:59 AM
She needs to have her boobs "serviced"? And I guess they don't allow that in prison. She will have to go through the drive-thru at Jiffy Boob.
5. Posted by Darby on March 2, 2006 10:59 AM
Yikes the health hazards of fake boobs...are they really that attractive to you guys???
6. Posted by Spindoc on March 2, 2006 11:32 AM
Kim's look kinda freaky because the girl is like 4 ft 11in. with HUGE d-cups, it looks sort of like an 8 year old girl with two basketballs shoved down her shirt.
7. Posted by PostAcidYouth on March 2, 2006 11:37 AM
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/000350.html
you're not telling me that these don't scare the bejesus out of you. Because they do scare me. They look like alien incubation pods. You get too close and something will burst out and choke you to death. In fact, that must be the source of the leakage
8. Posted by ESQ on March 2, 2006 12:07 PM
Ahhh,what probably happened was that "Queen Bee" lost her title to "Big Bertha" and her knockers got the saline/silicone punched out of them. Note to Lil' Kim while in jail you better check yourself before you wreck yourself. Your 4 foot nuthin' status becomes diminished real quite in prison.
9. Posted by ESQ on March 2, 2006 12:08 PM
I meant to say "quick" not quite.
10. Posted by male_nurse on March 2, 2006 12:21 PM
Congrats,
I never thought I would ever see Lil' Kim's Boobs and The Last Starfighter appear in the same article.
11. Posted by miadm2002 on March 2, 2006 01:25 PM
Sorry to hear about the bad boobage, but what do you expect when you put something man-made in you?! Kim looks like a whore in wonderland.
12. Posted by Wayne Nix on March 2, 2006 01:45 PM
And the winner of the geek of the week award goes to.....
I mean, really, the only thing you could think to compare boobs to is from the Last Starfighter? That would be obscure even for Comic Book Guy.
13. Posted by gogoboots on March 2, 2006 01:49 PM
Her boobs are leaking! OMG! That must be a horrible experience. It's also funny, she has one of the worst boob jobs I have ever seen. She's tiny and yes, it does look like she's an 8 year old girl who's shoved basketballs down her shirt. I think they're so big that she has to be naked for her to be comfortable, shirts are probably too constricting...(or so she claims).
14. Posted by gilmore_gargoyles on March 2, 2006 01:50 PM
Apparently "ice" melts in prison.
15. Posted by Miss Skyline on March 2, 2006 04:02 PM
Not exactly the most pleasant way to go to prison. I hope she has the problem tended to soon.
16. Posted by TheLusciousDeluxe on March 2, 2006 04:34 PM
Yikes.
17. Posted by HollyJ on March 2, 2006 04:34 PM
She seems to be handling it OK (NSFW)
http://ngs.imlive.com/newgallerystuff/6buck/090803_7.jpg
18. Posted by gogoboots on March 2, 2006 05:46 PM
her nipples are scary and huge #17, another case of potentially exploding boobs is about to take place, hence the leaking i daresay!
19. Posted by LivingDeadGirl on March 2, 2006 06:10 PM
That would actually be funny if they did explode or get damaged and she had to remove them. Then when she came out of jail she woud be unrecognizable and would claim to have lost them in a big prison riot or something like that. She could say they protected her from being stabbed by a fellow inmate with their large size and strength. Seriously those things could protect anyone from being harmed if someone came at you with a sharp object.
20. Posted by BoardBetty on March 2, 2006 07:25 PM
I can assure you that Lil Kim is having her tits serviced while she in in prison. She's making one big bull dyke VERY happy right now!
21. Posted by LB on March 2, 2006 07:26 PM
>#17
God, warn us more next time.
I remember seeing a kinda scary picture on the net describing in quite calm, medical terms what happens to women with breast implants. The pictures they showed of deflated boobs (on girls who were 20-30ish)... well, suffice it to say that part of me deflated along with them.
22. Posted by ButtSnack on March 2, 2006 08:39 PM
I hope I'm reincarnated as her baby so I can have the chance to suckle on said leaking boobies.
23. Posted by LaydeeBug on March 2, 2006 09:38 PM
She has been, is and always will be a pig. She may flow well, but that's where her talent ends. She's a cochin!!!
24. Posted by HughJorganthethird on March 2, 2006 11:11 PM
call FEMA
25. Posted by Otto on March 3, 2006 01:30 AM
This is so racist. If a white girl slept her way to the top of the rap world and then got too big for her britches and lied about a shooting and then went to prison and then had her boobs start leaking No one would say shit. This country is sooooo racist. I'll bet Christina Alguera doesn't have to put up with this shit.
26. Posted by HollyJ on March 3, 2006 11:29 AM
Christina Aguilera isn't black???
27. Posted by Mr. Fritz on March 3, 2006 11:48 AM
Lil Kim is nasty and it doesn't matter what race she is. I love women of all colors. She is so fake and tries to look like a black version of Pamela Anderson. She likes to wear fake blue contacts and blonde hair. She looks better when she looks natural.
28. Posted by TheLusciousDeluxe on March 3, 2006 02:30 PM
17 - LOL, cruel, but I couldn't help laughing when I saw that.
26 - LOL.
29. Posted by sarakai on March 4, 2006 05:45 AM
I guess it could go to her advantage- all she has to do is stand near the wall of her cell and BOOM, get outta jail free card!
Of course, having your chest blown apart could be a health hazard...