Thanks to this whole Chick-fil-A business, I’ve found myself gripped in an epic internal struggle to reconcile my insatiable love for delicious chicken sandwiches with defending gay rights from religious bigots who won’t think twice about lying for Jesus. (Here’s how that’s going: My car smells like waffle fries.) But then yesterday, like a dreadlocked knight, gay Internet sensation Antoine Dodson appeared and told the world (above) if he wants a chicken sandwich, he’s gonna eat a chicken sandwich. After taking careful stock of the YouTube reactions like the wise sage that he is, Antoine pulled his hair back and made another video (after the jump) defending his position and literally dropped the most profound statement I’ve ever heard in this entire debate and not just because it freed me to shove guilt-free Jesus chicken into my mouth:
“The people at the restaurant are nice, they greet me kindly. Those people work really hard and they have families and stuff and they need to keep their jobs. I’m not supporting the hatin’ man in charge, I’m supporting them hard workers in the kitchen.“
Two whole weeks of non-stop political discussion from our nation’s top pundits, and all it took was one sentence from the “They rapin’ errbody out here” guy on YouTube to put this bitch to bed. Seriously, what else is there to say? “Don’t support the hatin’ ass man, support the worker giving you that chicken.” Charlie Sheen may have talked about dropping truth bombs, but this is the first one I’ve actually seen detonated. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to drive to Chick-fil-A and inform them a gay black man said it’s okay for me to eat there. I see them responding well to that.
Antoine Dodson: In Defense of Waffle Fries (Full Disclosure: I understood about four sentences of this.)
Also, for those of you who don’t know who Antoine Dodson is, he’s the man who not only saved his sister from a rapist but followed it up by dropping this performance on the local news:
The reaction you’re looking for is, “Holy shit, Jesus really is black. And gay?”